College rumours ruining my game...

[Ragin_Asian]

Assumptions, rumours, gossip, ****blocking you name it...College rumour has dented not just my game and progress but my reputation as a cool guy.

A female friend overheard a conversation between a girl in my dorm and a girl who I was having a casual conversation (not gaming her but just having a fun conversation). She (the ****blockist) told the girl that I was a sleaze and trying to get into her pants and that I already have a girl and all sorts of bad sh*t about me. Who knows how many other girls heard this f*cked up spiel about me. Good thing was the girl who I was talking to was already a friend of mine so she didn't take it seriously.

A couple of girls I was talking to tonite just informed me that "someone" has told them to stay away from me because I was a sleaze??? WTF. Some a**hole already told them before I even met them??

Even last year I found out over a dozen new girls at my college are cautious of me because of assumptions or gossip. I found out they thought I was a criminal, drug dealer, player, sleaze and all sorts of labels that pretty much made girls run for the hills. I've even had incidents where I introduced myself to a group then most of them start to just walk away as if my clothes were woven out of a** hairs lol.

I don't know whats the deal...Im startin to not care what other people think of me but it really annoys me that people made assumptions of me based on others opinion and gossip.

My style doesn't really help me that much but I dont want to change. I drive a fairly "toughish" looking car, wear cool and stylish clothes, hardly supplicate, hardly smile big cos of braces but have this cheeky grin/smile instead. I walk like I own the place, have more sex than most people here. I recently had a threeway makeout session with my girl and her friend at the same time at the club which happen to have mostly people from my college. Now they saw the action and word got around.

Some of my friends say it must be the way I talk and walk. They told me I had this player/badass vibe but i aint no player (yet lol) or real badass. My place looks like a real shag pad cos of cool things people and family give me (sis gave me leopard skin mink blankets and cool lighting, mum gave african safari sheets n stuff lol). I wouldnt mind being more succesful with girls but dont want the overhyped reputation of being the player/pimp label.

Help....How can I solve this situation...

 

[MacDiddy]

Your reputation precedes you!!!

As long as you don't come across as desperate or a loser, I'm sure that this situation could play well for you... Girls naturally like bad boy even if they can't admit it.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Are you asking for help, or just bragging. I really can't tell.

 

[Ragin_Asian]

lol NO im not bragging....what is there to brag about?? How some girls avoid me like the black plague?? Yea when I read what I wrote again it funnily resembles bragging but its a real life sh*thouse. If theres one thing I hate it would being branded sleazy before people even meet me. It really annoys me. There's one thing being really succesful and being hated for it by chumps but its a different thing when you are starting out like I am and theres so many unnecessary obstacle from sad and pathetic people.

So I have this unwanted image that everyone has of me. It aint beneficial at any point cos I want to be a cool guy/DJ not a bad ass player/PUA or worse a sleaze. Having this image is something I really hate and I don't appreciate it one bit.

The question is how do I neutralise all this bullsh*t image and assumption of me that other c*ckblockers spread?? I aint a bad boy cos I dont have the props or even want to be one in the first place. I dont like people knocking on my door looking for drugs or porn cos they've heard that I'm the person to see for it. This is a real problem. The second half of my first post is not bragging but just to say that my lifestyle resembles that of which image I was stuck with, but this is part of my personality and don't wanna "play it down". Maybe a coincidence?? Everything I do for fun or for myself, some people think I'm only doing it for the girls or its a player trait!! A girl actually annoyed me by always saying every bit I do is because I'm trying to pick up or some sneaky move. She wasnt complimenting me though cos she actually looked offended. She first told me I looked like a player just by first looks and then opened her mouth for a truckload of horsesh*t.

Macdiddy how does this play well for me? Could you elaborate more on this? Is it my behaviour that I have to tone down or actually talk to those people and somewhat prove i aint the sleaze some fools made me out to be? Things I do naturally as other fellow human beings do (strictly friends gestures such as being nice or cooking for a female friend) are branded as a sly move to get in her pants cos of this image I'm stuck with. I mean not everything I do is trying to get laid. It's like a mass hysteria yet funny at times but it's at my expense. I can't even say "Good morning" to a 'cautious' girl without being over-analysed.

I really need to find a solution. One solution is to punch his or her mouth who ever it is whose spreading sh*t about me but I dont think thats a good idea lol

Ill post tomorrow about certain traits that probably let me down or fuel those assumptions of me.

 

[DrSoSuave]

The only solution on trying to discontinue gossip or rumors about yourself is to go to the source and if you can't find the source, most likely people who talk about themselves or other people a lot are usually suspect in this.

You tell them this: I hate people who talk behind other people without knowing the facts straight first or don't know me directly. How do you feel about people who gossip?

Even if they aren't the person who gossips about you, this will tell them directly that you hate people who spread rumors and they in return will give you more respect and will be less likely or give out less information about you.

Going up to the person and punching them in the mouth or telling them to stop only makes them more likely to hate you and continue spreading even worse rumors.

And reputation is very important. If you act like a goofball with a group of people and a suave DJ with another - it's going to contradict each other. The first thing to do is to make fun of yourself saying you used to be silly or to downplay any past roles.

 

[AverageFC]

Maybe youre coming on way too strong. Back down a little.

No offense, but I've observed this in Asians on my campus. So have other guys I know. The Asian dudes seem like theyre trying so hard to get laid they come off as creepy.

 

[ketostix]

Have you tried asking people who told them the rumor about you? Maybe you could try to flip the script on someone who regurgitates a rumor with something like "Gee, That's funny I heard the same thing about you, but I assumed it was just a rumor..." so that you're reframing the whole matter, but you got to be careful that you do it in a humorous way.

This just might be something you have to weather and it'll all go away in time.

 

[Ragin_Asian]

The thing is that I'm not even gaming some of these girls and they just think I'm homing into their pants cos someone else tipped them off saying "Oh Ragin' Asian is just after one thing, you should avoid him". Someone has already tipped off the college fresher girls before they've even met me. When I do talk to some they say something like "Oh so you're Ragin Asian, we've heard a lot about you" and I was like WTF!!!

How should I act around if people are cautious of me?? I do think I will have to tone down a bit. I have a suspiscion that it was this try hard dude who is the biggest d*ckhead I've ever seen, warns other girls about the "possible" dangers around college so he comes off as the hero and the cool dude who is helpful to girls. As much as I would like to ***** him over, I want to deal with it the DJ way.

AverageFC, I dont really act the stereotypical asian. And I don't try to get laid all the time but everyone gets the impression that I do.

DrSoSuave, does that mean I have to be consistent with my actions??

 

[Ragin_Asian]

How can I turn this into a positive opportunity and get this situation to work for me. A couple of labels I was assumed to be is that I'm a player bad ass which I'm not so how do I use it to my advantage?

 

[Albion4]

First off, you musta really pissed some chick off. Second, now you know how those girls who were labeled a "Slut" in High School felt.

I am a true believer in the fact that most rumors are based on some form of truth. Now I don't know you, but just from reading your words I have gotten the impression that you're a player. You need to ask yourself this, "Am I a player?" Don't come back here and try to justify or answer me, just ask and answer yourself.

What is the percentage of girls that you have slept with in the last year that you have taken out after WITHOUT expecting sex?

-Al

 

[Ragin_Asian]

Well I happen to have chatted up a large number of girls on college but didn't follow it up at all. The true reason I didn't follow it up is:

a) I didn't have the balls to do anything
b) Lost interest
c) I was put off easily because of insecurity

But..some people saw this as "playing" with girls minds and flirting then stopping. Now I know how I feel when a HB opens me up, makes a good impression then gets cold after a few weeks. I'd instantly think I was being played around. The last 2 girls I was involved with told me I was a player (even though I wouldn't know exactly how to be a player) because "accidental" player traits I do without even knowing it. I was being accued of teasing too much then completely pulling off as if I was only attracting girls for an ego boost. WTF!!!

Now this is all I can come up with at the moment. I'm kinda tired and just been trying to make sense.

 

[Reach]

This website is for players, jesus! If you don't want to be a player **** off. I get labelled a player, man *****, sexual athelete, and I've only slept with two people. The fact is this behaviour isn't normal and jealousy, boredom and misunderstanding all work to give you an image. Don't worry about it, it you heard your story from someone else you'd laugh.

Next time someone says to you "I heard a lot about you" just say "I get that a lot, I'm a player" or "Someone told me you're a player." "Did they tell you what clothes to wear too? Or can you make your own mind up?"