"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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College Question: Reborn

evolvingnerd

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ok fellas
now there's this surpsingly good looking chick in class, yet for two weeks she's been sitting on her own
tomorrow, possibly day after, i am GOING TO INTRO MYSELF :)

now i know she's seen me around, but i was wondering what to do and say
i want her as a friend, but like a good friend
i'm pretty sure she's smart, studious like, and damn i could use some smart friends ;)

anyhoo, entrance to the lecture theatre is from the back, so it's hard to get EC when i walk in (unless i walk to the front of the lecture theatre (past the zillions of empty seats) and then walk back up)

I need a gameplan ppl
*edit* and what do i do at the end of the lecture?
cheers
 
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"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Grey Fox

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Gee how bout "Is this seat taken." A smile and say Hi. Whats so hard about that?

-Grey Fox
 

lizardfloyd

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try coming in sort of late, then maybe there might be an empty seat by her or a seat someone was afraid to take next to her. hell, walk in and drop your book, maybe she'll look back and when she does make eye contact and smile. then walk by and say somethin funny about it and grab a seat sort of close to hers.
 

evolvingnerd

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now i know she's a smart gal
when the lecturer baffles us, and everyone's like wtf?
she's calmly writing it down, and going ahead with the proof before the lecturer

now i definitley do'nt wanna look like i'm stagin a scene

so perhaps something more direct, like just wakling straight up and sitting right next to her is in order?

btw, shes' always there early, and she sits just off centre with free seats by both her sides

(why she hasn't got friends is beyond me, perhaps i'll find out after meeting her eh)

and also, what do i do afterwards?
if she's doing the same course as me, then we'll have quite a few frees together

ideas?? :confused:
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Frank Zappa

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Dood, you worry too much.

The only thing worrying about pregames and consequences does is ruin your confidence. Just make the approach as quickly and with as little thought as possible. Don't treat it carefully, and don't think of the consequences. ~Zappa
 

Eileen

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Originally posted by evolvingnerd
ideas?? :confused:
Why not catch her on the way out of class and ask her to help you study for the next test or for help with a current assignment? That way, you don't offend her by invading her space, she might not want to be bothered during class.
 

DiSt0rTi0n_07

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It sounds like you are nervous about doing this when others are around...

If she shows up to class early why don't you do the same? This should be easy stuff man. You said you want her for a friend so what's so hard about making a new friend eh?

Walk her to class and get to know her as a person, not a classmate. Don't let your confidence suffer; just go up to her all relaxed and say something like:

"Hi there, my name is evolvingnerd. What's yours?"
If you walk into class with her then it should be that much easier for you to sit beside her.

When the lecture ends just do a basic close.
"We should have coffee sometime. Why don't you write down your number and i'll give you a call?"

Remember, have fun with it. If it doesn't work out you aren't obligated to sit beside her for the rest of the year.
Also your grades may improve :D

Just dont get all oneitis on your new 'friend' :p
 

Don Rageta

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Some news, ALL COLLEGE GIRLS ARE INCREDIBLY SELF AWARE AND LACK SELF ESTEEM. especially the ones who don't sit with friends in class. if you walk up and introduce yourself to her you will probably make her day because she'll figure she will not have to sit through class alone again. sit down RIGHT NEXT TO HER say hi and ask about how she takes notes or something, make fun of the proffessor or the book, if she gives you the cold shoulder, sitting in class is the best time to place a good neg hit. "how you doing with the reading, bet you could use some pictures in the book." lol
Don't stress it, more than likely she'll be thrilled to speak to someone. CONFIDENCE
 

evolvingnerd

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awesome posts fellas
if i happen to meet her before class, all the better
else i'm a just gonna walk ujp to her, sit down next to her
hi my name is evolvingnerd, how are you?
ask some questions about the assignment questions
then after the lesson "cya next lecture"
and then let it progress from there
im pertty sure she's shy, and won't give me the number straight off. if it feels right, i'll grab the email, else just take it slow

cheers
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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