College Long-Distance Questions

[Clement]

I have been going out with my girlfriend for a few years now, and now we are in college for LDR. But it has been very troubling emotionally. I have found this board and site, hoping it will help. I have read a lot of the DJ Bible. Few questions:

1. If I do not party much, should I voice this or when she is out, lie and say that I am at a party? Fabricate a story basically. Or should I say I'm studying, which I usually am?

2. How do I not let my worries effect me? Already, I have been placed on academic probation for this semester. I am responsible, but I need to find another way to deal.

3. She is attractive and gets hit on. How do I deal with this?

4. How do I control jealousy? How to know if she is cheating/ed?

It is difficult to just move on - our families are connected and I started this. I need advice and I hope someone will help. Thank you in advance.

 

[bigneil]

I have been going out with my girlfriend for a few years now, and now we are in college for LDR. But it has been very troubling emotionally. I have found this board and site, hoping it will help. I have read a lot of the DJ Bible.

Welcome to the board, but don't be a wuss and talk about your emotions. The strong suffer in silence.

1. If I do not party much, should I voice this or when she is out, lie and say that I am at a party? Fabricate a story basically. Or should I say I'm studying, which I usually am?

Partying isn't the problem. It may create problems but address those when they arrive. For example: nobody ever died of pot in History, while 100,000 Americans each year die of Prescription drugs, yet many call pot smokers "druggies" and date women who take Xanax.

2. How do I not let my worries effect me? Already, I have been placed on academic probation for this semester. I am responsible, but I need to find another way to deal.

In "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living" (Dale Carnegie) he says to face your worst fears and accept them. Basically, prepare for the worst, hope for th best. Have other women.

3. She is attractive and gets hit on. How do I deal with this?

Be attractive and get hit on yourself. If you are more worried than her, she has higher value. Date within your league. To improve, eat raw, organic, local vegetables and do pull-ups.

4. How do I control jealousy? How to know if she is cheating/ed?

Jealousy is weakness. You are confessing to yourself and likely others that superior men exist. Why not emulate such men instead of fearing them?

 

[Masculinity]

7 words: Do not do it, it does not work.

-Rob

 

[QuodErat]

1. If I do not party much, should I voice this or when she is out, lie and say that I am at a party? Fabricate a story basically. Or should I say I'm studying, which I usually am?

Why lie? You've said that you've been with her for a few years -- you should already have a good connection with her.

Like David X says, Honesty, Trust, and Respect are the three key components of a relationship.

2. How do I not let my worries effect me? Already, I have been placed on academic probation for this semester. I am responsible, but I need to find another way to deal.

Accept that you're worried, and don't let it control you. If you still really need a good coping mechanism, look up "Jon Kabat Zinn Mindfulness."

3. She is attractive and gets hit on. How do I deal with this?

Be mentally prepared to walk away, at any time, if need be. But of course, that wouldn't happen if she's really into you. Like bigneil above said, "prepare for the worst, hope for the best."

4. How do I control jealousy? How to know if she is cheating/ed?

This is something that I'm working on myself, but I think the key component is to know that she's into you, and if she's cheating or something, you've got the power to ditch her ass at the drop of a hat and move on.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

So she is new to college and she is in a Long Disntance Relationship. She is doomed. Giver her a couple weeks and she will be double d!ck clutching like it is no tommorow. What you need to do is break it off with her but still try to be cool. So whenever you see her again you can easily hook up.

 

[DonGorgon]

So she is new to college and she is in a Long Disntance Relationship. She is doomed. Giver her a couple weeks and she will be double d!ck clutching like it is no tommorow. What you need to do is break it off with her but still try to be cool. So whenever you see her again you can easily hook up.

exactly... there is no point in even trying to keep a relationship with a girl that is going away to college .. I am in the same oat she is leaving in 1 month and things are already getting rough cause we know its almost over ..