Originally posted by Alphathree
Cold approaches suck ass. They're not for newbies. They're very advanced in the sense that a newbie is not going to make a cold approach work unless god himself arrives and delivers a miracle.
You were some creep talking to her. You didn't generate interest at all. Generating interest on a cold approach is difficult if you don't know what you're doing.
This is why I RECOMMEND drawing from your social circle and always expandin said circle. I only do "cold" closes after what I call "accidental" attraction.
Today, for example, I had a whole bunch of stuff and I was trying to open a door, and some HB9 ran up to help. I made sure to make eye contact and crack a confident joke, and then walk off.
She followed me. I could've worked that situation from there without this 15 minutes of rapport BS. I don't number or email close, I social circle close. I'll be like, "hey, I'm into activity XYZ you should come some time"
That can lead into giving her info or an email address. Then I have way more time to DHV. Plus if she doesn't work out, all the other girls see is that random girls are showing up to meet me at activity XYZ.
But hey if this sounds dumb to you, keep walkin up to random girls and talking to them and then asking for their contact info like a creep. Good luck with that.
I agree with your premise: Cold Approaches suck ass. I think they're based a lot more on looks than anyone on here would care to admit and that having a good personality can only take you so far to overcome that fact. However, that doesn't change the fact that unless you have someone introducing you to a woman, every approach is a cold approach in some form or another. Either you get somewhat proficient at doing them: learning to be confident with strangers, not being intimidated by women, being comfortable with who you are, etc., or you live forever on the game of friends in order to meet women.
I think the "That Guy" factor weighs heavily on the mind of most people attempting to do Cold Approaches (I know it does for me). Everyone knows who "That Guy" is: the idiot who comes up and starts unwanted conversations with people, boring them and creeping them out. We've learned, at some point in our lives, not to be "That Guy." Nobody wants to leave a social situation awkwardly and have people be whispering about what a strange person he is for doing something, like approaching a total stranger and engaging them in conversation.
However, you can do cold approaches and not be "creepy" if you give off a pleasent and friendly atmosphere. Smile a lot, keep the conversation light, make her laugh, and treat her like you would meeting anyone for the first time. If you get the sense she's being creeped out or isn't vibing you, just punch out of the conversation: "Hey, it's good meeting someone new, I won't bother you anymore." People appreciate when others sense their mood and alter their behavior accordingly, and she will lose any "creepy" opinion of you if you take a hint and leave.
You can also avoid the "Creepy" vibe by keeping your approaches sitautional: approach where women have an expectation of being approached by a guy. Class is a good example: it's open seating and there is an expectation of chatting with fellow students before the start of a lecture. Places where people are milling about and talking with one another: bars, sporting events, concerts, etc. These are places where being social is the norm, not the exception.
In the opposite, sitautions where a woman doesn't expect to be approached, an approach often catches the woman off-guard. This can be a good thing if you're (above all else) attractive (to spark an instant interest in her) and have a good personality, or if circumstances in her mind are right for her getting approached (she's bored, etc.). However, more than likely, she is unreceptive to being approached because she was not mentally prepared to be approached (even if she never conciously considered it one way or the other). Bad examples, I'd consider, for approaches include: libraries (or any place someone is studying), gyms, restaraunts, and in stores. It's possible to make any of these places work, but it's far more likely you'll encounter a woman who is busy doing something else and more apt to view you as "creepy" or "wasting her time."
I limit my cold approaches to the former situations, due mostly to the fact that I simply lack the phyiscal attractiveness in order to overcome poor situation for approaching. The #1 rule of any game, though, is that you must put yourself in a position to succeed before you can ever win. Put yourself in that position by Cold Approaching in "safer" situations, and then moving to different places as you find out what works and what doesn't for you.
That'd be my AFC advice.
. So heres the question, what portion of girls give you fake numbers/emails or block you with 'the Boyfriend'.