"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Cold Shoulder?

TheNewGuy

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So, I was meeting this girl at the mall. She was going with her friends, I was going with mine and said we were gonna meet there.

She gets there, we find each other. She gives me a hug and a really friendly sounding hello. Then her phone rings and she says she'll meet me later. We go our seperate ways.

I meet her later when she was with her friends, she said she was going to see a movie so we said we would go too. Then she starts kinda walking, so we walk with them. Problem is she's not really talking to us, just to her friends.

We walk about 100 feet like this, so I'm like "Screw this" and me and my friends go a seperate way.

Initially I'm thinking to next her, but it's odd because she was showing all this interest in me and suddenly it just dropped. I'm thinking of talking to her later and being like "wtf happened?", but I'm not sure what to do.

What would you do in this situation?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Docs

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something came up, hence the ignoring and phone.

Wait a week, try again with less people around you both.
 

TheNewGuy

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Originally posted by Docs
something came up, hence the ignoring and phone.

Wait a week, try again with less people around you both.
Yeah, but she was still being friendly to the people she came with and she still went to the movie...

PS: This is the first time we've ever really met. A couple run ins at school, few AIM convos and a phone call or two before this.
 

Docs

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I'd like to ask this, how was she in talking to her friends and did you pick up any bits of convo? How was the mood of their chatter?

Just sit back and re-analyze the event. If you can't think of anything, don't think of anything and attempt another outting. IF it happens again, pay attention. You can tell a lot by half-listening to convos/reactions/re-reactions by others/etc
 

TheNewGuy

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Originally posted by Docs
I'd like to ask this, how was she in talking to her friends and did you pick up any bits of convo? How was the mood of their chatter?

Just sit back and re-analyze the event. If you can't think of anything, don't think of anything and attempt another outting. IF it happens again, pay attention. You can tell a lot by half-listening to convos/reactions/re-reactions by others/etc
It was really loud in the mall, so I couldn't hear much. I would try to make convo, but she would say some real quick answer and go back to talking to her friend before I could say something back.

I might've over-reacted, if you had told me that I would be even have plans with a HB8.5 to go to the mall 6 months ago I would've laughed in your face. I'll see how her mood is towards me, if it's not so cool... NEXT :down:
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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i am me

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I might be wrong but she could've been nervous around you. I've been in a similar situation and it IS kind of confusing. On one hand, there's this girl who "obviously" likes you but she seems to almost always ignore you for her friends (even though she seems like a nice, social person). I think she likes you but just gets nervous so she talks to people she feels comfortable with....thats what I think at least
 

TheNewGuy

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Originally posted by i am me
I might be wrong but she could've been nervous around you. I've been in a similar situation and it IS kind of confusing. On one hand, there's this girl who "obviously" likes you but she seems to almost always ignore you for her friends (even though she seems like a nice, social person). I think she likes you but just gets nervous so she talks to people she feels comfortable with....thats what I think at least
That might've been it, but it was just the kind of vibe she was giving off. The "I know you're there, but I'm busy with my friend right now" vibe, compared to how interested she was when we met at the beginning...


I'm probably over-thinking this, -sigh-.
 

Docs

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something came up, hence the ignoring and phone.

Wait a week, try again with less people around you both.
something came up, hence the ignoring and phone.

Wait a week, try again with less people around you both.
 

Ian Gots Game

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You did EXACTLY what you should have done.

Don't let it affect you. Go on as if it didn't happen. And don't at all act mad at her or bring it up, thats weak. Game her like you know you can.
 

TheNewGuy

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Originally posted by Ian Gots Game
You did EXACTLY what you should have done.

Don't let it affect you. Go on as if it didn't happen. And don't at all act mad at her or bring it up, thats weak. Game her like you know you can.
Thanks =)

So if she brings it up in a convo, what should I say?

EDIT: Err, nm. Not that hard of a question. A simple "I didn't think that being ignored was too much fun" should be fine.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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TheNewGuy

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Alright, this might be the little bit of AFC still hidden in me... but I really wanna find out from her what happened. I hate assuming things (even if it is probably the truth). Would it be AFC to call her up and be like "What happened last night?"?

EDIT: As AFC as this sounds, I've been real confused/upset over what happened last night. I think what I need is like... closure? If I call her and she says she wasn't interested, thats cool, but I don't wanna be confused like this.
 

SlyD4rK

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GAH! my suggestion...read Weapons of Mass Seduction by Mr. Fingers, it shows you how to get her to be comfortable with you talking/touching wise from the moment you say hello

I did this with a girl i hadnt talked to since last year (i was a total AFC then) I just started talking to her like i had know her forever...and some C&F (actually hardly at all) then i told her where i was going that night, and she blew off her dance lessons to come with me...then (we went to a coffee shop with some of my friends to watch another friend play acoustic guitar and sing) then i just sat back, enjoyed myself and gave her plenty of Kino and C&F and i ended up getting a kiss at the end of the night..(and more if i wanted) ALL of this because i started the kino at the beginning (and reading weapons of mass seduction)
 
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