Cold approaching journal

[Skyline]

Its a lot less pressure to approach attractive girls in real life compared to on school campus. I doubt I'll go out of my way to go to places and just approach attractive girls but I will when I go out for other reasons.

1. Me and two other friends went to the mall, my AFC friend was talking to his girlfriend while she was making us all free drinks. Then this hot brunette walks by in short shorts and flip flops and just makes me go nuts. So I left my two friends briefly and went up behind her and gently grabbed her shoulder until she turned around.

Me: "hey what's your name?"
I honestly forgot, starts with an A though
She didn't ask for my name and didn't really look interested so I kind of already knew it was over.
Me: "Are you single?"
Her: "No."

2. While me and my other friend were walking around to leave my AFC friend and his girlfriend alone, I noticed this really hot cashier eyeing me and I gave her a big smile until we walked out of sight. It lasted for about 2 seconds. I then realized I should've asked her out and went back when it wasn't busy.

Me: "what's your name?"
I also completely forgot her name
She didn't ask for my name either at this point and wasnt showing ant signs of interest but I continued like before.
Me: "when do you get off?"
Her: "what? What for?"
Me: "are you single?"
Her: "Oh no"
Me: "well nice meeting you!"
And then I left

3. So after my AFC friend was done with his girlfriend, we decided to walk around. After a short moment I catch the eye of a cute girl sitting down and eating with her friend. I smiled at her and she smiled back, at this point I considered it an invitation and walked away from my group and sat down with her and her friend.

Me: "hey what's your name?"
Her: "Sierrah, what's yours?"
She was smiling, blushing, and looking down briefly continuing on the point. And she asked for my name!
Me: "I'm Frayzer and what's your name too?"
Other friend then says her name, I forgot
Me: "so what're you guys doing here?"
Pretty much saying chilling
Her: "So what year are you?"
Me: "Oh I'm graduated what about you guys?"
Her and her friend: "Sophomores"
At this point I'm like god damn it
Me: "No way you look like juniors" pause "don't worry its a good thing" more blushing and such.
Me: "so where do you guys go?"
Her: " I go to x"
Me: "I went to " x."
At this point I realized the convo was slowing down so I decided to pull out my phone.
Me: "I have a group of friends waiting so how do you spell your name?"
Tells me how and I then hand her my phone and she already knew what to do. This whole interaction was like 2-3 mins.

4. So me and my friends were walking out and decided to sit down on a bench outside while my friend lit a cig. A few moments go by and this hot blond and her cute,but chubby, friend came walking down. My friend with the cig says one of them was attractive and I had thought he was talking about the blond so I look over and see them sitting at a near by bench. I then get up toward them.

Me: "hey whats your names?"
Her: "kathrine"
Friend: " Whitney "
They were actually sort of friendly
Me: "what're you guys doing?"
Her: "oh were just wondering if that place is open"
I looked behind me and look
Me: "yeah that place is open"
I thought about asking her out right then and there, but I had a group of friends and wasn't really down for that.
Brief pause, I then decide which one to ask out because one was cute but chubby but the other had a nice body with an average face. Went for the nice body/blond.
Me: "so are you single?"
She was sort of surprised but said yeah.
This part sucks.
Me: "so its Whitney right?"
Her: "no it's kathrine"
At that point I'm like relax its cool...
Me: "when are you free to get together?"
As I handed her my phone, she then typed in her name and phone number. And I don't remember if she asked for my name, don't think she did

My AFC friend was surprised at these approaches, he combated it with : "I've been in a relationship for 2 years"

 

[Skyline]

5. I was at work when this happened. It was a medicore day and then these two attractive girls came in. My co worker who was on register called me back to check on the lobby and see who was there. The one he was interested in was about a hb:7 and the other about a HB:6.8. She was a little less attractive. So after 5mins or so goes by they get their food and then they proceed to eat in the lobby.

My co worker ended up chatting them up for the next 10 minutes, it wasn't really busy. He then comes back to me and tells me they want to see my face, so I'm like whatever after I'm finished. So I go up to the counter to see the HB:7 there and the HB:6.8 sitting down.

HB:7: "awh"
In more of a cute tone, its hard to explain.
Co worker: said something then sort of leaned back away from us
Me: "so what's your name?"
I don't know I forgot, then the HB:6.8 responds to me
HB:6.8: "I'm just chill in here alone"
I then tell the HB:7, because i thought it was my co workers girl, to sit down and called her up
Instead
Me: "so what's your name?"
Hb:6.8: "Kayley"
She didn't ask for my name nor was she really giving me any signals at this point, but I continued.
Me: "Are you single?"
She kind of looked down and said quietly
Kayley: "no... But I'm talking to someone"
I didn't say anything while I pulled out my phone and asked how to spell her name and number, she gave me both.
Me: "well I have to get back to work" I really did
Kayley: "I like meeting new friends"
She said that as I walked away.

They ended up hanging around for another 10 mins and at one point her friend told me that she was thirsty and to get her water. I just told my co worker who was still up there to get it for her and kept doing what I was doing. I think that was a sh*t test. I realized that they weren't leaving so I went back up there and learned a little bit more about them.

They're not from my city, religious girls, Kayley had a ring that she showed me that I have no idea what meant, they're 17, and her friend called my city "ghetto" even though its more middle class than it is ghetto. I didn't like that to be honest. Then Kayley proceeded to talk a lot about her side of town of how its more ghetto.

When they left my co worker asked me if I got her number, the HB:7's. I said no because I found the HB:6.8 just as attractive but I didn't tell him that I wasn't going for the same girl he was- mainly because he called dibs first. I then ask him if he got her number and he said no! I was like what were you doing up there for like half an hour then? He even asked me call the girls number I got to get her friends!

 

[Skyline]

Was out on a date and decided to do some approaches afterwards. The date went well ended up kissing/half making out a few times.

Before my date arrived she texted me saying she was gonna be late. I said alright and decided to go to McDonald's to eat. Once I opened the door, these two girls were in front of me. They were sort of tall but I gently grabbed the light brunnete.

6.
Me: hey, what's your name?
HB:6.6: Maddie
Me: are you single?
HB:6.6: no sorry...
Me: well it was nice meeting you!

I then left, she was nice about it though.

Then my date appeared so kept my time on that, didn't approach anyone while on it. She did meet up with a few friends, they were pretty friendly. Once she left I had some spare time so I decided to fit in a few approaches.

I was about to walk down an escalator when a cute black hair girl caught eyes with me. I smiled and she smiled back. Once we got down, I lightly touched her shoulder turning her around.

7.
Me: hey, what's your name?
HB:7: Ashley
Me: are you single?
HB:7: no I have a boyfriend
Me: its fine nice meeting you

She seemed a bit weirded out, but she was in a group of two other friends. So I'm proud of that group approach.

Last one of the day. I was leaving when I saw this cute girl working at some yogurt place. There was two people in front of me but they let me by.

8.
Me: hey what's your name?
HB:7: uhh why..?
I was a bit caught off guard from this response, never gotten it before. So I just continued.
Me: are you single?
HB:7: no I have a boyfriend sorry
Me: alright its cool

The place i was at was dying out, since it was getting late and a weekday, so i left. 3 approaches all had boyfriends apparently. That's lame but my anxiety and hesitation is going away!

 

[compleks]

Good job mate. But don't be in such a rush to ask if they have a boyfriend. Build a little rapport first.
Or don't ask at all. Just have a bit more of a follow up after you introduce yourself then tell them to put their number in your phone. They will bring up the boyfriend objection if they want, don't give them an easy excuse straight away.

 

[Skyline]

Good job mate. But don't be in such a rush to ask if they have a boyfriend. Build a little rapport first.
Or don't ask at all. Just have a bit more of a follow up after you introduce yourself then tell them to put their number in your phone. They will bring up the boyfriend objection if they want, don't give them an easy excuse straight away.

Hey thanks for your input man. I'm just doing these quickies because I need to get over approach anxiety first. I'll do the whole rapport tging after down in the road, I want to walk this through rather than run.

The only time I build a little rapport is when we make eye contact. I didn't do that for one of the above girls though, don't know why. Maybe it was that whole group effect. I'll try and start to build rapport though, like a what's up or what she's doing there. I'll think of something!

 

[compleks]

You're already way ahead of the game just by making the approach. Keep it up.

 

[Vice]

One of my own sticking points today is not staying in set if I don't get an initially good reaction. Keep in mind that some girls are used to attractive guys approaching them so they don't "light up" with interest immediately, just keep plowing. Imagine an average girl approaching you; you probably wouldn't react as much since you would be used to it, but if an attractive girl approached you, you might have a different reaction. Same thing with women.

Also, don't ask if a girl is single unless you legitimately have a time constraint. This way you're not giving her the option to have a reason for you to go away. They will mention the boyfriend sometimes, but even that isn't a disqualifier if your game is tight, because she may either be letting you know she isn't available, or that she is still receptive but you need to play it discreetly so her boyfriend doesn't find out.

 

[Skyline]

I'll get 2 more approaches using this line then I'll change it up. The situation from when I approach varies though. Like if she's sitting down or looking at something then its perfect for rapport but if she's walking I find it better to make it quick.

I'll probably switch the if she's single line with "when are you free to get together" and just hand her my phone, assume the sale type of thing. And don't worry rejections aren't even scratching me.

 

[Don-Kong]

Approach anxiety is a blessing. It pushes you to aim higher. It pushes you to smash through it. It's not an obstacle. It's a platform to enhance your energy and adrenaline, that's the buzz.
I sometimes open a group first and try and stay there for as long as I can, this is exposure training. Then everything else seems so much easier.
Warm up well. Get outta ya head. Shake out, jump around, get that energy out your body.

What you are doing is kind of weird. That's a given. That's our challenge. It is weird. We open random strangers. How can you project comfort and non hostility? Where has she just been? Does she look stressed or relaxed. Her body language will give clues as will her clothes. Paint the picture of her story and this helps with empathy and putting yourself in her shoes.

I respect day game and night game, there's no difference really. Just that her intentions are vastly different. Night game she's blatantly out to enjoy herself. Is she enjoying being where she is? Is it a chore? Is she rushing, going somewhere? Etc.

 

[Mr Wright]

I'll probably switch the if she's single line with "when are you free to get together" and just hand her my phone, assume the sale type of thing. And don't worry rejections aren't even scratching me.

Are you actually trying to get dates with is? Or just getting used to approaching because if you're trying to get dates, the success rate of that will be about 1 in 100. By success rate I mean you doing that, her giving you her number and actually turning up for a date. In other words, it's inefficient.

If you're approaching for practice, prolong the conversation, get used to trends that happen in conversations, like her trying to leave after a slight pause, bust through that stuff and keep the conversation flowing.

 

[sylvester the cat]

repped for effort. takes balls that does.

edit: maybe not - You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Frayzer again.

 

[sighsigh]

Dude, don't ask girls if they are single or have boyfriends. It makes you sound like you obviously have an agenda, which makes you sound desperate. At the end of the convo, just ask for their number. If they don't want to go out with you, they will say something like "I have a boyfriend," etc.

 

[Vice]

Dude, don't ask girls if they are single or have boyfriends. It makes you sound like you obviously have an agenda, which makes you sound desperate. At the end of the convo, just ask for their number. If they don't want to go out with you, they will say something like "I have a boyfriend," etc.

I agree with not asking if they're single/have boyfriends, but I disagree with the reason why. Females know the score when a guy approaches them. End of story. Don't even TRY to hide it, direct game will "set the frame" immediately and you will have nothing to hide. Hell, I've even explicitly told girls in conversation why I approached them, because it's the "elephant in the room" and it tends to relieve social pressure. If she comes up with an objection like having a BF, I just exit gracefully, making sure to say something along the lines of "Well I'm glad I approached you even though you have a boyfriend". Sometimes they'll take your number to give to their single friends!

Just gotta be cool and make vodka lemonade out of lemons. Plus if they become single and see you out or at a party they'll approach you, or at least mention you to their friends that you were a cool dude. Bam, instant social proof.

 

[Mr Wright]

I agree with not asking if they're single/have boyfriends, but I disagree with the reason why. Females know the score when a guy approaches them. End of story. Don't even TRY to hide it, direct game will "set the frame" immediately and you will have nothing to hide. Hell, I've even explicitly told girls in conversation why I approached them, because it's the "elephant in the room" and it tends to relieve social pressure. If she comes up with an objection like having a BF, I just exit gracefully, making sure to say something along the lines of "Well I'm glad I approached you even though you have a boyfriend". Sometimes they'll take your number to give to their single friends!

This works because you're just being open with who you are and what you want. Girls can smell when you have an agenda so if you're just owning what you want, she can't trip you up on it later. She can tell if you want somehting and don't have the confidence to display it. It's almost like the guy is ashamed to be honest about what he wants and that's unattractive. I agree, in any situation just speak the truth, talk about the elephant in the room, own these moments.