Cold Approaches

[ssj245]

Isnt it scary/weird to approach random girls on the street or the mall and ask them for phone numbers, you can only do it if your in a situation for rapport, and make a connection and then ask for a phone number?

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

That is why you should use a motive for your aproach under these circumstances. For example, walk in to a clothes shop try on a jacket, ask a girl near by what it looks like. If she gives a one word answer, dont waste your time, but if she gives you a proper answer, then you can start a conversation with her.

 

[ssj245]

hm..

But I have to actually sit and scheme this, and try to think up of diffrent things I can do to try and lure girls into convos. isnt it wierd?

 

[theSpeculator]

Isnt it scary/weird to approach random girls on the street or the mall and ask them for phone numbers, you can only do it if your in a situation for rapport, and make a connection and then ask for a phone number?

From my experience, YES. Cold approaching is for loser and what it really show is that the guy is so desperate that he has to hit on every girl he see. And real men are not desperate and do not need to play that game because the girl comes to him. ;-)

I've done a few cold approaches in the past and got the number easily. But I never cared about the girl. I've discover that you get more success if you genuinely like the girl and have your self-esteem developed enough to be able to act like a man when chatting with her. I gotten my self-esteem so develop that I can approach any girl in a relax manner. But then I realized that I don't need to cold approach every girl I see to get a date. Because I had so much confidence in myself every girl became attracted to me without me having to do much. LOL. Basically, the whole thing is pointless because your problem lies inside you.

Also don't make the mistake of becoming a PUA because it is a shallow lifestyle. My philosophy of Don Juanism is this: I only want to be good enough so that I can get the one girl that I really like and want. I don't care about screwing nor do I want to screw a 100 girl every week. I rather have one good girl that a 100 bad girl. nuff said

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

But I have to actually sit and scheme this, and try to think up of diffrent things I can do to try and lure girls into convos. isnt it wierd?

I will be honest with you, i have only ever made a couple of totaly cold aproaches, because i am genraly not out by myself.

It can feel a bit weird when you think about it but i have been cold aproached by girls before and to me that did nto seem very odd. A cold aproach cna be akward if you have nothing to say but the act of aproaching is not as akwaward as it might seem in your head.

Planning what to say will not work, not only will it sound unnatural unless you are an actor, but if the conversation goes in a diffrent direction, then you are lost. All you need is an opener and a possible lead from the opener ie the 2nd thing you might say, and the rest should be imprevised. The secret to imprevising is to keep your cool but also think of somewhere to lead the conversation. If i was to write down an opener, and a girls responce, it would probably only take you seconds to think of a reply in your head, so instead of thinking oh no what do i say, just keep your cool!

 

[everywomanshero]

Cold approaches are the cornerstone of having tons of women in your life. It isn't weird or scary, you just make it weird and scary by the way you think which you and only you can choose to change.

If you do cold approaches 2-4 days a week, 6-12 per outing, then you will one day find it very easy, probably within a few months. At some point it also begins to feel natural and you'll learn how to make it seem interesting/fun to the people being approached also

 

[Distant Light]

From my experience, YES. Cold approaching is for loser and what it really show is that the guy is so desperate that he has to hit on every girl he see. And real men are not desperate and do not need to play that game because the girl comes to him. ;-)

I've done a few cold approaches in the past and got the number easily. But I never cared about the girl. I've discover that you get more success if you genuinely like the girl and have your self-esteem developed enough to be able to act like a man when chatting with her. I gotten my self-esteem so develop that I can approach any girl in a relax manner. But then I realized that I don't need to cold approach every girl I see to get a date. Because I had so much confidence in myself every girl became attracted to me without me having to do much. LOL. Basically, the whole thing is pointless because your problem lies inside you.

Also don't make the mistake of becoming a PUA because it is a shallow lifestyle. My philosophy of Don Juanism is this: I only want to be good enough so that I can get the one girl that I really like and want. I don't care about screwing nor do I want to screw a 100 girl every week. I rather have one good girl that a 100 bad girl. nuff said

lol speak for yourself, cold approaching is by no means for losers. Your telling me that if you seen "your" hb9.5 walking down the street your not going to approach because its wierd? you rather join a social circle and hope someone in the group is hot or just staying in the clubs trying to game hb9s who won't give you the time of the day or only party girls with a few non party goers. How is a PUA lifestyle shallow, because most of the great PUAs have multiple gfs or cause there game is super tight to pull girls that they end up only approaching 9s and up? I respect your philosophy even though i may not agree with it, thats just me and were all different in our own ways. Also how does it show that your needy? if it did show that you would be getting blown out the set before you even opened out. I'm starting to think you've barely even did any cold apporaches to even realize whats going on and how to effectively pull, but then again your not out there to learn you just want "that one girl".

Basically to me cold apporaching is the best place to have more choice of girls, if you just want to try and get a rich area of hb8+ in one area then clubs/parties/bars are where you want to be. But coldapproaches should be a must because certain types of girls you won't find in a party that often.

 

[Microphone Fiend]

think of all the interesting ppl you can meet by cold approaching...Ignore what speculator said...his name shuddve been a giveaway, lol.

Check the archives, there are a few good posts on CA's

 

[everywomanshero]

If you aren't cold approaching then you can only meet people who stumble upon your social circle. If you're meeting thousands and thousands of people through your social circle and are able to "sarge" them without it affecting your personal life, then you don't really need to cold approach. I think not so many people fi this category, though. Only a few people with careers that lend to sarging have this.

So you can be an loser and not **** lots of girls. You can get one of those few careers/hobbies that cause you to meet thousands of people per year . You can be a total loser and meet women on the fvcking Internet which I still might do every once in a while but it's defintely not cool. or you can be a cool, social guy and make tons of friends and **** lots of hot girls by cold approaching. I have a woman coming over to sleep with me, losers have their hands to make love too or will spend all night crying when yet another Internet chic flakes on them. Take your pic

 

[Bourne]

Cold approaching is the harderst thing to do, it is also the most rewarding.

Those who say its for loosers, missing out on alot of great experiences.

 

[Blackdragon5095]

If I didn't do cold approaches then I would still be the below afc. People who cry about cold approaches being hard are the ones who don't have good self-respect and confidence. I have no problem going up to girls and talking to them, I do it so much at my job. Cold approaches can even be fun if you BE A REAL MAN AND TAKE CONTROL. Most of my cold approaches are fun because I make the girl laugh and smile while talking to her.

Plus how is a guy gonna to become a dj if he dosen't approach. You could wear interesting t-shirts but still the best way to go is to approach. You will met some mean chicks because they are unhappy. Don't let their unhappyness get to you and make you unhappy.

 

[Hawke]

Cold approaches... yeah i guess they can be weird, and definately scary at first. Yet only for the first few times and if you give such situations a great level of importance. Just as Blackdragon does, i'd say to see them as being fun, which is exactly what they should be. I mean if you arent enjoying yourself, enjoying talking with the woman and enjoying making her laugh and feel good, why bother?

Infact at first i always found half the fun was in really messing up and seeing what the worst negative comments i could get from a woman so i could build up resistance to that, and know what to avoid. Then i went on and did what i could to turn negative comments, angry comments, unhappy etc, into positive comments. Making her laugh and smile... it's weird when you begin to find that you can make a woman smile and feel good without even trying. Remember to don't take it all so seriously, play the game and enjoy it. Let everyone else get hung up on the depressive elements, you just shrug it off, learn and go out and have a few more laughs.

So keep at it, sit and plan it the first few times if you have to. But remember to after awhile try using your instincts, comment on the first thing that comes to mind (hell it's worth the laugh to come out with some really shocking things to see how they react.) And in no time you'll be meeting new people, making good friends, and opening up so many more opportunities for fun. Hell, you'd have to be nuts to not want to do that.

A personal question here, and one that will add to this topic, what are everyones mind sets when you cold approach? What goes through your mind, what do you aim to do, etc the moment you go out there to cold approach?