Cold Approaches

[bunjy]

Ok so Ive never been a great fan of cold approaching women (who is!!) and realise that Ive probably missed some good opportunities to meet women because of my unwilligness to cold approach.

I generally have no problem meeting women but its usually through friends or maybe on the dance floor in a bar/club or sometimes women approach me. The type of cold approach I have honestly never done is one where you walk up to a chick and start chatting to them, I figure this is something I should look into as Im pretty sure Im missing out by negelecting this.

Anyway the reason I mention this is because of something that happened in a bar I was in lastnite. I was out drinking with a large group of friends (guys and girls) and I noticed a very attractive girl sitting at the table next to ours with her two friends. Anyway I noticed that during the course of an hour or so she kept looking over at me, in short she was giving me the look and Im almost 100% sure she was interested. I gave her a look or tow and smiled at her. Now heres the problem. I didnt have the balls to approach her and now Im full of regret as the chick was clearly interested and doing her best (short of approaching me) to let me know.

I have no problem actually speaking to women and am generally pretty good at flirting/banter with chicks. At the bank, with the barmain/waitress etc, just generally in everyday life I do speak to women I dont know and do have the confidence to confortably chat with women I dont know. My main problem is just not having the balls to approach them and establish initial contact.

How would you DJ's have dealt with this situation??

The main reason Im thinking about this only now is beacause over the past year or so Ive been in at least 4 situations in which a chick was clearly interested but I didnt approach them and thus lost out and to be honest Im getting rather sick of missing these opportunities because of my inability to cold approach women.

 

[btownbuck2012]

Cold approaching women WILL correct all of the problems you're having in an indirect way. Don't expect alot of success cold approaching HOWEVER you'll notice that once you've done it enough you'll become %100 comfortable in regular everyday situations like you're talking about above. Talking to women at the bar while you're with your friends will be cake. Cold approaching women during the day is scary but it gets rid of every other fear most guys have (being assertive at work or school, public speaking at work or school, being able to vibe with people almost effortlessly at parties, bars, etc).

I've gone out alone quite a few times and cold approached women. At first it is one of the most scary things you've probabley ever done. Alot of guys will read that and laugh but its true. However if you're able to man up and get past 5 or 6 rejections you'll find that you have balls of steel. It's an incredible feeling. Once you've experienced that feeling, just once, other social settings and situations will seem like easy money cake. lol

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

Totally agree that cold approaching in public is intimidating, and has made it much easier for me to strike up conversation elsewhere.

Usually I decide ahead of time if I'm going to approach should the opportunity come up, resolving to approach for the purpose of making conversation and entertaining myself and whomever I approach (as opposed to approaching just for the number close), and if the opportunity to get her number or make plans comes up, then I'll make the most of it. Sometimes I have somewhere to go and I won't stop for anyone, but other times I make sure that I'm open to it.

When I am, it helps to recite the first of Pook's 15 lessons:

"Rejection is better than regret"

Every single time I've cold approached, I've left the conversation feeling that way, even if the end result was a less-than-perfect or downright cold/boring conversation, though it's almost never such a negative result. At the very least I usually walk away with some sense of accomplishment that I found connection with a completely random person by my choice.