Cold approach tips

[Umarsidi]

Hi everyone, I'm new on this forum and I want to approach girls without being needy so I'm hoping to get some cold approach tips

 

[inquisitor]

First, you have to need something else more, something beyond what you think. Focus your efforts on any field, better if one at a time. Learn, study, practice, execute, be wrong, correct yourself, repeat. Devote time. Be humble. Soon, you'll be passionate. Look to the horizon and believe in something greater for yourself, because it exists, and it only needs you to act on it.

Now, gain confidence and self-esteem naturally by being better at the work you do. Complement this naturally growing identity with external presentation. Look good, dress well. Fix your posture, value your health. Take care of your mind, body and soul. Exert, hydrate, and rest.

Now, you're better every day on many aspects. Move on to getting to know yourself better. What do you want in life? What do you hate? Consider not only your selfish opinion but also the observations of others. Communicate better, listen more, think deeper. Develop social skills by reading books and being a part of a community.

Soon, you'll earn some rewards for the work you do, so use such rewards to better yourself. It will take time, but soon, you'll be much better than you first realize.

Now, approaching girls is easy. You have something to back up your confidence, so you won't sound needy. You have something that you need more than her. Of course, you'd need her to complement your life, but you know she's just there to make your life better, not worse. You've been through hell, so you wouldn't need more of that.

Approaching is a skill, so practice, again and again. No need to escalate yet, learn more about women first. What are women like? What do women want? How do women react? Iterate. Really listen to them. Pay attention to how they act.

Soon, you'll get to decide what you want for a woman and finding her becomes easy. It'll be a coincidence, but you'll know when to act and how to act, because you've been there many times.

 

[NealIRC]

Easy. Work on getting approached by women instead. You're asking the wrong question. Flip the tables on them.

 

[Umarsidi]

First, you have to need something else more, something beyond what you think. Focus your efforts on any field, better if one at a time. Learn, study, practice, execute, be wrong, correct yourself, repeat. Devote time. Be humble. Soon, you'll be passionate. Look to the horizon and believe in something greater for yourself, because it exists, and it only needs you to act on it.

Now, gain confidence and self-esteem naturally by being better at the work you do. Complement this naturally growing identity with external presentation. Look good, dress well. Fix your posture, value your health. Take care of your mind, body and soul. Exert, hydrate, and rest.

Now, you're better every day on many aspects. Move on to getting to know yourself better. What do you want in life? What do you hate? Consider not only your selfish opinion but also the observations of others. Communicate better, listen more, think deeper. Develop social skills by reading books and being a part of a community.

Soon, you'll earn some rewards for the work you do, so use such rewards to better yourself. It will take time, but soon, you'll be much better than you first realize.

Now, approaching girls is easy. You have something to back up your confidence, so you won't sound needy. You have something that you need more than her. Of course, you'd need her to complement your life, but you know she's just there to make your life better, not worse. You've been through hell, so you wouldn't need more of that.

Approaching is a skill, so practice, again and again. No need to escalate yet, learn more about women first. What are women like? What do women want? How do women react? Iterate. Really listen to them. Pay attention to how they act.

Soon, you'll get to decide what you want for a woman and finding her becomes easy. It'll be a coincidence, but you'll know when to act and how to act, because you've been there many times.

Thanks mate

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Easy. Work on getting approached by women instead. You're asking the wrong question. Flip the tables on them.

I like the idea, I just don't like the practibility of it.

I think your advice should be tweaked to..

"Work on getting IOI's from women".

Because realistically, that is the best you will get on average.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Hi everyone, I'm new on this forum and I want to approach girls without being needy so I'm hoping to get some cold approach tips

First things first..

Work on your body game.

Hit the gym, build muscle.

Long story short; when you cold approach, the first thing women will see is your physical representation.

Make it worth seeing.

 

[BPH]

I will give you the best advice that you won't follow:

Approach girls.

That's it.

You will literally learn this as you go. You'll understand how to have a conversation, not be outcome dependent, read nonverbal cues, handle rejection, escalation, etc. The most progress I ever made on this front was when I would use my vacation time at the beach to approach ANY girl I thought was hot to hit on her. Use canned lines to start with, it doesn't matter. You're going to get rejected a LOT, and then eventually you won't care, and then you'll get rejected LESS.

Also yeah go the gym.

 

[Umarsidi]

Work on your social game. Your charm.

While women notice your physical appearance first, if you don't know how to converse with women, you'll just be posturing. And unless you walk around shirtless all day like an extra werewolf from Twilight, she won't see your abs and your 'muscle definition' anyway.

A few members here are gym addicts who think that having rock hard abs is going to compensate for their social inadequacies and they don't understand why women don't like them while they clearly have an Adonis Schwarzenegger body. it's good to have a fit muscular body (especially in countries with a high rate of obesity), getting noticed is only half the seduction. After you're noticed (for your muscular physique or other attributes that set you apart from the herd), you still have to make the approach, you have to know how to be attractive, and for that you need charm.

And you don't have to do 'first things first', you can work on your social charm while you work on your body and get your buckteeth fixed and finish your studies.

Don't put all your eggs in a single basket. Better be a Jack of all Trades than a One Trick Pony.

Thanks mate

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Work on your social game. Your charm.

While women notice your physical appearance first

Which is why I said "first things first"

, if you don't know how to converse with women, you'll just be posturing.

Do women sit around pondering "how can I become more charming to men. I really need to work on my conversing skills."

No, they don't.

So there is no need to do any of that for them.

But they do spend hours and lots of money trying to figure out ways to look more sexually appealing to men... thus, going back to physical attraction...like I said.

As long as you can engage in basic conversations, you should be fine.

And unless you walk around shirtless all day like an extra werewolf from Twilight, she won't see your abs and your 'muscle definition' anyway.

If your muscle definition cannot be seen in clothes, then you aren't hitting it hard enough.

Of course, some shirts show off more than others...and I don't even buy shirts that doesn't show my muscle definition.

I shared the story of a woman who approached me at the grocery store..she said to me "nice muscles".

So, speak for yourself .

A few members here are gym addicts who think that having rock hard abs is going to compensate for their social inadequacies and they don't understand why women don't like them while they clearly have an Adonis Schwarzenegger body. it's good to have a fit muscular body (especially in countries with a high rate of obesity), getting noticed is only half the seduction. After you're noticed (for your muscular physique or other attributes that set you apart from the herd), you still have to make the approach, you have to know how to be attractive, and for that you need charm.

Would any man in here turn down a woman because, despite her banging body, she wasn't charming enough?

Probably not.

It is the same way on the flip side.

And you don't have to do 'first things first', you can work on your social charm while you work on your body and get your buckteeth fixed and finish your studies.

Don't put all your eggs in a single basket. Better be a Jack of all Trades than a One Trick Pony.

@Umarsidi

Ignore the charm stuff... work on your body game and your confidence will fly through the roof.

Now, outside of body game, another thing you can work on is your verbal seduction game.

Being able to sexually seduce women with your words may be something you can add to your repertoire.

I can recommend one of Alan Roger Curries books to help you with that.

ARC was called the Master of Verbal Seduction...for a reason.

 

[ManlyMan]

Approach. A lot. Every chance you get. You will learn to instinctively know which woman are approachable and which ones are not. Who will be a complete biitch and who will not be. What works and what doesn't. Your inner game will become great.

 

[Learning Curve]

First things first..

Work on your body game.

Hit the gym, build muscle.

Long story short; when you cold approach, the first thing women will see is your physical representation.

Make it worth seeing.

Yeap, this.

Also, trial and error.

You will get rejected, so expect that.

But be social in general, not just with women with everyone, be a person that is talkative not a clown.

This will help with women, in business and in your life.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

Are you a woman?

Again, you're not a woman.

Ask yo girl, am I a man or a woman

If you want to go that way, they will see if you're fit. You don't need to go to the gym to be fit. You can easily become fit when you change your sedentary lifestyle - stop stuffing yourself with junk food, eat healthy unprocessed meals in smaller portions, take the stairs instead of the elevator / escalator, ride a bicycle, go swim.

Two things can be true at the same time..you can do all of that, plus build muscle as I suggest.

If you walk around in a T-shirt and shorts all day, sure. Most people don't walk around in skintight outfits.

I don't walk in T-shirts, shorts, or skintight outfits..and STILL get compliments on my physique.

If it can work for me, it can work for anyone.

You just have to put in the work, which is half the battle.

You just confirmed your ignorance.

No, I confirmed my knowledge.

If a man is well built and has verbal seduction skills, he will have women lined up at his house in a trance.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

I'm more than fifteen years older than you and I get compliments for my physique.

Sure, whatever you say.

If you got that many compliments for your physique, you wouldn't be on here talking about some damn charm.

And I don't need to go to the gym because I live a healthy lifestyle, ride bicycles and go swimming several times a week. Plus I train my martial arts kata every day.

Good, now hit the gym.

I asked her and she said that for almost forty years old you behave like a gay boy.

"He is gay " is what a woman will tell her man when he asks about her male "friend".

 

[Doctor Europeo]

Lets keep it civil

 

[characternote]

just get in shape and make yourself as good looking as possible. That increases your chances of her being attracted to you

Once that's in place, the rest is basically irrelevant. Just speak like a normal person and escalate (and if it's NOT in place at all, then all the 'game' in the world won't cut any ice)

 

[NealIRC]

I like the idea, I just don't like the practibility of it.

I think your advice should be tweaked to..

"Work on getting IOI's from women".

Because realistically, that is the best you will get on average.

That is the case if you are actively trying to make eye contact with surrounding women. Then if you do that, in no way will women approach you 1st.

So if a woman does approach you, it means her IOIs failed. So you can pretend to read a newspaper and that will force her to approach you, or do nothing at all.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

That is the case if you are actively trying to make eye contact with surrounding women. Then if you do that, in no way will women approach you 1st.

So if a woman does approach you, it means her IOIs failed. So you can pretend to read a newspaper and that will force her to approach you, or do nothing at all.

Well sadly, most men (over 90%) will go their entire lives without a single woman ever approaching them (outside of club/bar atmospheres).

Out my 39 years, I've had 3 undeniable approaches from women (outside of club/bar atmospheres).

That is an average of 1 per 13 years.

And while am obviously very fond of those few times, it just doesn't happen enough for me to rely on.

The same with choosing signals.

Every hunter will tell you, you have to go out and get it!!

 

[NealIRC]

Well sadly, most men (over 90%) will go their entire lives without a single woman ever approaching them (outside of club/bar atmospheres).

Out my 39 years, I've had 3 undeniable approaches from women (outside of club/bar atmospheres).

That is an average of 1 per 13 years.

And while am obviously very fond of those few times, it just doesn't happen enough for me to rely on.

The same with choosing signals.

Every hunter will tell you, you have to go out and get it!!

But I'm talking about where you actually attract a girl hardcore, can be in real life or on-line. In real life, it can be in a setting where her friends talk good about you... It could be she sees you in actions. It can be in a classroom where you ask the professor good questions, it could be on a public train where she saw you did above and beyond action, etc.

 

[SW15]

"Work on getting IOI's from women".

Because realistically, that is the best you will get on average.

Yes. Women won't approach for the most part. They will give Indicators of Interest (IOIs) to men in order to motivate men to approach them.

I will give you the best advice that you won't follow:

Approach girls.

That's it.

You will literally learn this as you go. You'll understand how to have a conversation, not be outcome dependent, read nonverbal cues, handle rejection, escalation, etc. The most progress I ever made on this front was when I would use my vacation time at the beach to approach ANY girl I thought was hot to hit on her. Use canned lines to start with, it doesn't matter. You're going to get rejected a LOT, and then eventually you won't care, and then you'll get rejected LESS.

Also yeah go the gym.

Going out into the field and actually doing the approaches is the most important thing.