Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Cold approach is becoming impossible

Don of the north

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First of all. Any guy who says he wants to buy a woman dinner on the first conversation is desperate. Men who understand women, dont ask for numbers.

What if he didn't bring up dinner, made you laugh and said "I think your a cool girl. Let's continue our conversation over the phone, add your number in my phone." (Hands phone to you, eye contact)
We use to call that being a gentleman. Nothing wrong with that and certainly nothing desperate.

But yeah, just because of the modern woman using men for attention I'd advise against dinner for a first date to save money.

It all comes down to compliance:

You're overthinking this. If she thinks hes' hot, she's compliant. If not, she's non compliant.

Well said. Your friend just said that without knowing if the guy was hot or not?
She probably assumed he wasn't. Also, being hot doesn't eliminate the possibility of the cops being called. It just massively decreases the risk.
 

Divorced w 3

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Yup, it applies to the workplace too. In the U.S. "sexual harassment" is a BIG "no no" in the workplace, it's actually against U.S. Labor Laws and companies can be sued for it and win!

Men are required to attend seminars and there is a huge poster in the kitchen describing what constitutes sexual harassment - no compliments, no flirting, no asking out on dates, you can barely say "hi" anymore without some chick calling it harassment.

It's supposed to mean "unwanted attention" but for some women, what it means is NO attention. Women want to be left alone, like I said it's a sad day it's gotten to this point.
You’re allowed to date colleagues in the US… we give training on it
 

Don of the north

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Yup, it applies to the workplace too. Replace the cops with Human Resources.

In the U.S. "sexual harassment" is a BIG "no no" in the workplace, it's actually against U.S. Labor Laws and companies can be sued for it and win!

Men are required to attend seminars and there is a huge poster in the kitchen describing what constitutes sexual harassment - no compliments, no flirting, no asking out on dates, you can barely say "hi" anymore without some chick calling it harassment.

It's supposed to mean "unwanted attention" but for some women, what it means is NO attention. Women want to be left alone, like I said it's a sad day it's gotten to this point.
Meeting at work is a major way couples meet. Remember people, feminism tells women "you don't need no man." They are trying to destroy every avenue possible it seems. Chad hunting on tinder only I guess.

There should be a federal law keeping employers out of the bedroom of its employees and protecting employers from frivolous lawsuits. It's none of their business who they date off company time.

Go on youtube and look at the tom brady skit on sexual harassment. It sums it up perfectly. SNL wouldn't dare do a skit like that post metoo witch hunt.

The KID GLOVES we are treating women with is honestly kind of insulting to women. That's no equality ladies. It's special treatment because you're viewed as so weak you can't even handle someone saying hello and asking if you want to get coffee. Pathetic.
 

Mike32ct

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S.H. is usually defined as "unwanted XYZ..." But there is no 100% way for a guy to know that compliment (or date request or whatever) is unwanted until after the fact.

In other words, "XYZ might be legal or illegal, but we can't tell you which it is until after you commit XYZ." Nice huh?
 

Scaramouche

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Hi Zimbabwe,
" Are you indian OP? "what on Earth has that got to do with the price of Fish?
 

corrector

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Yup, it applies to the workplace too. Replace the cops with Human Resources.

In the U.S. "sexual harassment" is a BIG "no no" in the workplace, it's actually against U.S. Labor Laws and companies can be sued for it and win!

Men are required to attend seminars and there is a huge poster in the kitchen describing what constitutes sexual harassment - no compliments, no flirting, no asking out on dates, you can barely say "hi" anymore without some chick calling it harassment.

It's supposed to mean "unwanted attention" but for some women, what it means is NO attention. Women want to be left alone, like I said it's a sad day it's gotten to this point.
Wow. That bad. Its good that I am self employed rather then at a cubical farm job. I probably wont last a week in such a toxic workplace. A man's own good nature could get you fired.
 

SW15

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Outcome: He asked for my number, told me he would like to buy me dinner, I told him thanks I'm married and that was that.
How did he not see the wedding ring? Most men don't approach married women because it is a waste of time. A very small percentage of men might want to see if the married women is open to some side penis.

I was walking back to the office from lunchbreak and this random dude approached me on the street and was trying to talk to me. He wasn't rude at all nor did I feel threatened in any way. It was broad daylight with lots of people around.

I was in a decent mood so I chatted with him a bit while we walked, even though I would have preferred he go away but it was only a few more minutes till I arrived at my office.

Once back, I told my female friend/co-worker about it and SHE went freakin crazy, telling me I should have called the police!!!

I mean she was yelling at me for not calling the police right then and there even tho the guy did nothing except attempt to have a pleasant conversation with me.
This is a conversation around symptoms of a disease and not the disease itself.

The disease itself itself is feminism.

Feminism has created dissent between the sexes since at least the 1970s. You now have 3 full generations of women that have been alive since feminism became fully mainstream by 1980. Those generations would be Gen X (1965-1980s births), Millennials (1981-1996), and the now entering adulthood Gen Z (1997-2012 births). In 2022, that represents adults ages 18-57.

Women from Gen X onwards don't believe that they need men. When they might not need an individual man for provisioning in a romantic relationship, they need the collective of men. Men maintain the electric grid, male computer scientists/engineers created the iPhone, Instagram, and OnlyFans and males are the simps on Instagram and OnlyFans. Males are sanitation workers, warehouse/supply chain workers, police officers, firefighters, auto mechanics, plumbers, etc.

When a woman doesn't have the beta bucks side of hypergamy via an extended relationship committment, there are psychological consequences. She often obtains pets and multiple pets to substitute for men and small children. The woman who can't retain a man long term experiences involuntary solitude (a phrase coined by Chateau Heartiste in the Manosphere 10+ years ago). Insols are the female incels. While the typical woman experiencing involuntary solitude gets laid as much as she desire because she has sex options, she doesn't get the commitment she ultimately desires. She has odd backlashes to that, including pets, perceiving too many men as creepy, etc.

Amongst men, MGTOW and incels are the opposite of the female feminists. MGTOWs and incels have some psychological issues as well. A man might not need a woman for an extended relationship, but he does need her body for sex. His need is more pressing based on the fundamental psychological ideas of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. The incel is lacking sex (basest need) whereas the female insol is lacking belonging (a higher level need). It is an easy argument that the incel is in a worse position than the female insol because at least the insol can get sex.

Look at tomi lahren's rant againt men calling them all trash and she's supposed to be a right wing trad-con on fox news. They say they are fighting for equality. I'd give anything for equality.
A lot of so-called conservative women have lives that resemble liberal women. Tomi Lahren is a decent example. She has been a penis carousel rider for 10+ years. She's bounced around from multiple cities and had multiple relationships. Only 13 months after posting her "Men are Trash" rant, a ex-pro baseball player put a ring on her finger.

At Fox News, Ainsley Earhardt claims to be a conservative Christian but is reportedly careerist, is twice divorced, is a single mom, and her 2nd husband was a substantially younger ex-college football quarterback. That sounds like a liberal feminist/careerist to me.
 

pipeman84

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I agree, feminism has gone too far and now they've got the transgender lunatics to keep them busy.
But as a man, on a forum about men's self improvement in the dating/relationship areas, I can't help wondering, what's with those men that compliment/ask out work colleagues and end up being called into HR or worse, fired. Can't they spot troublemakers in the first place? Or immediately stop after the first compliment didn't pan out the way intended? If they like playing with fire, they why complain when getting burned? :rolleyes:
 

pipeman84

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Women won't typically tell a man to stop giving her attention, she will eat up the attention but then complain about it afterwards to HR. Not all women but most.

So a man has no clue his compliments and attention annoy her.
Hmm, that's an interesting point. But it takes a mean spirited woman to do such a thing and I find it hard to believe a reasonably aware guy can't read it on her face that she's not a good person and/or didn't hear stuff about her on the grapevine.
Secondly, this need of some guys to compliment/give attention to women who have done nothing to warrant it tells me they have some work to do on themselves. It's totally unnatural and the faster they learn it (it should've happened before reaching the age of joining the workforce) the better off they'll be.

I really feel bad for men sometimes. I work in a small office now and one of my bosses commented on my hair one day (gave a compliment) then called me about an hour later asking if his comment made me uncomfortable!
I can't imagine doing something like that. I mean, how beta can your boss go? He knows you're a married woman, you have your husband to give you compliments. He should mind his own business and if he doesn't have a girlfriend/wife, he should compliment available women who give IOIs after he's made certain they deserve it.
 

Divorced w 3

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Some companies have a "no fraternization" policy - no dating co-workers. I have worked for a couple.
If they do, one has to leave or risk getting fired.

I used to work in the legal field as a paralegal and came across lots of frivolous lawsuits filed by women claiming sexual harassment because a male co-worker repeatedly asked her out and/or complimented her. Or otherwise made unwelcome advances.

Some cases were pretty egregious so the lawsuit was warranted but many were ridiculous.
A co-worker compliments her = harassment
Asked her out on a date = harassment.
Attempts to talk to her = harassment.

The male co-worker is called into HR and given a warning. If it continues, he risks getting fired.

I've seen it!

SMH
But the way you phrased it as, was that it’s against Labor Law. Which it is not. If it’s against corporate policy they’ll likely move one of you to a different department before firing you. A large company expects this to happen and a small one can’t afford the lawsuit.
 

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Sexual harassment is against labor laws and it's subjective.

One woman may feel sexually harassed while another woman given the same attention would not.

In cases where a woman feels sexually harassed, the company is obligated by law to conduct an internal investigation.

I used to work in employment law, I know this for a fact.
You were a paralegal, if memory serves. That’s great and it’s like saying I kept the book for the Brooklyn nets so I too can ball like Kevin Durant. Harassment is a bar that needs to be achieved like anything else, here try prosecute me on this one, “I have nothing to say, I’ve done nothing wrong”… your move
 

pipeman84

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Oh please. I had just gotten it trimmed, and he said "cool cut"!

He is also married by the way, it wasn't a "come on" or even a flirt.

Nor was it "beta" but your accusing him of such illustrates the point perfectly.
If all was that innocent, why did he feel the need to:
then called me about an hour later asking if his comment made me uncomfortable!
First he makes a comment he probably shouldn't have made then he lacks the ability to read your body language after you received it and asks you an hour later if it made you uncomfortable. Yeah, he is beta.
 

Divorced w 3

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Sexual harassment is against federal labor law (civil) and it's subjective.

One woman may feel sexually harassed while another woman given the same attention would not.

It doesn't matter how large or small the company is, if a woman feels sexually harassed and complains, the company is obligated by law to conduct an internal investigation.

I used to work in employment law, I know this for a fact.

This is in the U.S, federal law.

Edit: A person can file a civil lawsuit for whatever they want, no matter how frivolous. Many do hoping the company will settle.

Or sometimes the judge will toss out.

In any event, it's a huge PITA for the guy being accused, that's all I'm saying..
Regarding your edit, great, let the girl sue my firm, and not only do I walk out of there squeaky clean the company is also now paying for my defense. Keep up the good work Marcia Clark
 

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Are you okay mate? Lol

Why so angry and defensive?

Yeah it sucks for the guy, I hear ya on that.

Best to be aware of it, that's all, no need to take so personally.
Because you’re feeding bad information to the thread, your story constantly changes and guys here don’t need this blue pill nonsense. I know you’re wrong, it’s a “statement of fact”.
 

Divorced w 3

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What's the bad information? The blue pill nonsense?

Again, I used to work in the legal field, specializing in employment/labor law.

I know these laws like the back of my hand; there is nothing blue pill about it. They're certainly not "nonsense."

And believe it or not, I'm on your side here. These laws are often unfair to men and on the side of the woman.

But if you want to disregard and call it blue pill, that's fine, no skin.off my nose.
You are a former paralegal. You formerly used to type, file and do what actual lawyers needed you to do. Osmosis is not a law degree.

You said US Labor Law does not permit intra company dating and relationships. That is patently false.

I'm not defensive, I’m irritated. You have never sat on the other side of an accusatory conversation from HR, nor have you ever personally practiced law - you’re putting yourself out as something in which you’re not. Do everyone hear a favor and speak from experience, on whatever topic that may actually be. This one it is not.
 

mikedee

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@catsmeow2

What are you doing here? This forum is for MEN. Don't you have anything better to do?
I just don't understand, seriously.
 

Don of the north

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Oh please. I had just gotten it trimmed, and he said "cool cut"!

He is also married by the way, it wasn't a "come on" or even a flirt.

Nor was it "beta" but your accusing him of such illustrates the point perfectly.

That it's a sad day when a man can't give a woman a simple compliment without her feeling harassed (which I didn't but many do) or him being criticized and called "beta" or feeling uncomfortable for making the comment, regardless of her (or his) status.

SMH seriously.
Great post. We've obviously got some male feminists on the forum. Can't they find somewhere else to go instead of invading our space? It's a don juan forum for petes sake.

Some of them are so scared to approach and possibly get rejected that they have to "justify their not approaching" by saying it's creepy or beta. Ridiculous. Now they're blaming men for getting called into HR. Go figure.
 
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