Cold Approach in Grocery Store

[CyrusTheGreat]

How do you guys approach girls (18-25 yo) in grocery stores? What is your opener? How long would you talk before you ask for the #? Would you kino?

To make it a bit more concrete, let's say the girl is alone picking some fruits…

 

[SW15]

The 18-25 age range is not an easy one to find in a lot of grocery stores, at least with the 18-23 part of the group.

In the very early part of that range, a lot of women are living in either college dormitories or sorority houses. These women aren't grocery shopping.

At a lot of colleges, women only live on campus in dorms 1-2 years. They start getting off campus apartments under a couple of conditions....

• They are in a sorority but not living in the main sorority house
• They are not in a sorority but are no longer living in a dorm

Women who have one of those conditions applicable will be in grocery stores. The best bet is to find them in grocery stores near a college campus.

Your opener doesn't really matter when comparing an 18-23 year college student vs. a 24+ post-college woman.

You're either going to open her based on something in her grocery basket, something she's wearing, or you're going to go ultra direct and open based saying that she's attractive and you to come talk to her. The first two of those options are more realistic in a grocery store, and option 3 is better for outdoor approaching.

You're going to want to talk to her for somewhere between 5-15 minutes before proposing a date idea, then collecting her number. Do not collect a number without a date agreement. That number will be worthless. The conversation is supposed to progress from the opener, to some bait drops to get her involved in the conversation, to a date agreement/number exchange. In reality, most approaches fail within the first 30-60 seconds. You'll open her and she won't connect to any of your bait drops and won't seem willing to engage in conversation. This happens by her only giving 1-3 word responses when the conversation is naturally flowing to her.

Most approaches won't involve kino. Kino would usually happen on the date that was arranged from the grocery store opener.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

.

S-dub. You my homie and all that, but you got it all wrong.

The 18-25 age range is not an easy one to find in a lot of grocery stores, at least with the 18-23 part of the group.

There are plenty of 18-25 year olds at the grocery store.

The problem is (from my experience), they are typically in groups of 3 or more, and at that age going to the grocery store is more of a fun adventure (something to with friends), as opposed to when they get older and mature and will go to the grocery store by themselves and can care less whether or not their friends are with them.

And besides that, there are plenty of 18-25 year olds who WORK at grocery stores...and they are not immune to getting approached either.

In the very early part of that range, a lot of women are living in either college dormitories or sorority houses.

Not all 18-25 year olds are in college.

In fact, more aren't, than are.

And suppose you live no where NEAR a college/college dorm?

Are you just SOL?

You should not limit yourself to one specific area, because it is already a numbers game, so the larger the sample size is, the better your chances are.

These women aren't grocery shopping.

So, how do they get their food?

At a lot of colleges, women only live on campus in dorms 1-2 years. They start getting off campus apartments under a couple of conditions....

• They are in a sorority but not living in the main sorority house
• They are not in a sorority but are no longer living in a dorm

Women who have one of those conditions applicable will be in grocery stores. The best bet is to find them in grocery stores near a college campus.

Bro, women are EVERYWHERE.

Young, old, rich, poor, fat, skinny, tall, short.

Your opener doesn't really matter when comparing an 18-23 year college student vs. a 24+ post-college woman.

You're either going to open her based on something in her grocery basket, something she's wearing, or you're going to go ultra direct and open based saying that she's attractive and you to come talk to her. The first two of those options are more realistic in a grocery store, and option 3 is better for outdoor approaching.

What I teach is; you can use the same line(s) on any woman...regardless of how she looks, her profession, or her way of life.

All are equal.

You're going to want to talk to her for somewhere between 5-15 minutes before proposing a date idea, then collecting her number. Do not collect a number without a date agreement. That number will be worthless.

Again, you are my homie, but you are WRONG here.

As I always say; you are to treat every approach like a bank robbery.

In and out in as less time as possible.

You say do not collect the number without a date agreement, because the number will be worthless.

I say, do not ask her NAME until you find out of she is single. Because if she aint single, then her name and number are worthless (unless you have no problems messing around with taken or married women).

The conversation is supposed to progress from the opener, to some bait drops to get her involved in the conversation, to a date agreement/number exchange. In reality, most approach fail within the first 30-60 seconds.

Yeah, so why would you press the issue for 5-15 minutes when she will already know whether she likes you within 30-60 seconds?

You'll open her and she won't connect to any of your bait drops and won't seem willing to engage in conversation. This happens by her only giving 1-3 word responses when the conversation is naturally flowing to her.

Most approaches won't involve kino. Kino would usually happen on the date that was arranged from the grocery store opener.

Yeah, um...what the hell is kino?

 

[oldmanofthesea]

How do you guys approach girls (18-25 yo) in grocery stores? What is your opener? How long would you talk before you ask for the #? Would you kino?

To make it a bit more concrete, let's say the girl is alone picking some fruits…

I do this all the time. Target is one of the best stores to find hot women. It's like a factory of 21-30yo women wearing yoga tights. Grocery store is decent too but not as good as Target. Whole Foods is pretty good as well, but it's funny because I find the hottest women there, yet there are fewer hot women overall in Whole Foods - it's like it is mostly weirdos with a few 9's sprinkled in.

To your specific question, I don't believe in canned openers. The first goal is to try to make conversation about something you are both experiencing together. If you are waiting in a long line together, that's your opener. If you are both looking at the same item (fruit in your example), that's your opener. Ask her a question about the fruit - "I never know when these are ripe - how do you tell?" or something along those lines. Just get her talking. Then ask her what she's making etc. Usually she will drop some sort of info about her life into the conversation and you can use that to continue the conversation forward. I usually only talk around 5 minutes or so and then say something along the lines of, "I need to finish my shopping before I'm late, but I really enjoyed talking to you. We should meet for a coffee soon to continue this conversation," to which she will either say yes or no and if she says yes you then ask her for her number. I like to wait a few days to text her and set the date. This has worked very well for me and I've gone on a number of dates with women I've met at the grocery store or Target.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

How do you guys approach girls (18-25 yo) in grocery stores? What is your opener? How long would you talk before you ask for the #? Would you kino?

To make it a bit more concrete, let's say the girl is alone picking some fruits…

It doesn't matter where she is inside store, just make sure you catch her while she is around as less people as possible {if you care about that kind of stuff).

This is what I do...

1. Identify an attractive woman.

2. Follow her from a safe distance (a lion stalking prey).

3. Wait for the right time to approach.

4. Move in on the approach.

5. Appear to her unsuspectingly, and pay her a compliment. Or, if you are walking towards her and she sees you, pay her a compliment as you are approaching her.

6. "Dang, you cute." <-----this is my go-to line.

Or some variation of it.

I sometimes say "Now ain't you a fine one..."

7. Usually, the woman will smile and say "Thank you".

8. Then I ask, "Are you single?

Her answer will tell me everything I need to know.

If she ain't single, she is off limits (although, depending on how fine she is, this may be the only exception to women who are already committed). However, if she is married, she is completely OFF LIMITS.

9. Once she identifies as single, I ask her name (because if she ain't single, her name is irrelevant).

10. Once she provides her name, I ask for her number, or I give her mines....and this number request is followed by a date request.

However, my past few cold approaches I've found out that instead of getting the woman's number, I give her mines.

So now, I am more likely than not to give the woman my number.

Why?

Because I've found out that it feels better to give a woman my number (and if she doesn't call, end of story), than for her to give me her number and when I reach out to her, to have to deal with her dismissive and vague efforts, should she not be interested.

11. Once/If she reaches out to me after I gave her my number, then within 3-5 minutes of talking to her over the phone or within 3-5 text messages....

12. MODE ONE.

It all may seem like a lot, but it isn't.

The entire process of number exchanges between 15-40 seconds.

You don't have to stand there tap dancing for 5-15 minutes, for a woman who knows within the first 10 seconds whether or not she is interested in you.

 

[SW15]

The problem is (from my experience), they are typically in groups of 3 or more, and at that age going to the grocery store is more of a fun adventure (something to with friends), as opposed to when they get older and mature and will go to the grocery store by themselves and can care less whether or not their friends are with them.

I've seen that in grocery stores too. I don't approach those women. The whole point of doing daygame is isolation. If I wanted to approach women in groups, I'd be doing approaches at a bar/nightclub.

And besides that, there are plenty of 18-25 year olds who WORK at grocery stores...and they are not immune to getting approached either.

I generally don't approach women when they are working. I find it more difficult to read cues from women working. Plenty of hit on working women all the time. This ranges from women working the front desk in medical offices, to department stores, to Hooters/Twin Peaks type waitresses, to regular bartenders/waitresses.

The biggest problem with working women in service sector jobs is that they tend to be nice to you as a part of their job duties, which can be confusing for a lot of women. I do find it is better to get with service sector women if you can meet them when they aren't working.

Not all 18-25 year olds are in college.

In fact, more aren't, than are.

And suppose you live no where NEAR a college/college dorm?

Are you just SOL?

You should not limit yourself to one specific area, because it is already a numbers game, so the larger the sample size is, the better your chances are.

You're right that more aren't going to college than are.

Nealy 40% of Millennials got a bachelor's degree or higher. In Gen X, that number was around 30% and for Boomers, it was around 25%.

Educational attainment is typically measured for adults 25+. In 2022, the youngest Millennials are 26. The oldest Millennials are 41.

The 18-25 age range is not an easy one to find in a lot of grocery stores, at least with the 18-23 part of the group.

In the very early part of that range, a lot of women are living in either college dormitories or sorority houses. These women aren't grocery shopping.

So, how do they get their food?

They get their food at the dining facilities of the student union if they live in dorms. If they are living in a sorority house, the house mom gets the groceries and then there is a chef cooking food.

Also, a lot of young adults not going to college and still living with their parents are not going to the grocery store as much because their parents are handling grocery shopping.

Yeah, so why would you press the issue for 5-15 minutes when she will already know whether she likes you within 30-60 seconds?

The reason to have an extended conversation in the approach is to get a sense of whether a woman warrants a 1-2 hour (or more) first date. If she can't make it through a 5 minute conversation well, what's the likelihood that she can get through a 1-2 hour first date without it turning into a disaster. The idea behind the initial conversation is to try to reduce the likelihood of the "one date, no sex, no second date" occurrence.

If you're able to make it through the first 30-60 seconds, I perceive that you're in the maybe category and not yes.

 

[SW15]

I do this all the time. Target is one of the best stores to find hot women. It's like a factory of 21-30yo women wearing yoga tights. Grocery store is decent too but not as good as Target. Whole Foods is pretty good as well, but it's funny because I find the hottest women there, yet there are fewer hot women overall in Whole Foods - it's like it is mostly weirdos with a few 9's sprinkled in.

I usually only talk around 5 minutes or so and then say something along the lines of, "I need to finish my shopping before I'm late, but I really enjoyed talking to you. We should meet for a coffee soon to continue this conversation," to which she will either say yes or no and if she says yes you then ask her for her number. I like to wait a few days to text her and set the date. This has worked very well for me and I've gone on a number of dates with women I've met at the grocery store or Target.

Target has evolved from a general merchandise store to also become a grocery store + general merchandise store. Walmart did the same thing too. I've been able to do my weekly grocery shopping at Target without picking up any non-grocery items.

In general, I've been disappointed with Whole Foods approaching over the years. I've not gotten as many dates at Whole Foods as Kroger or Albertsons branded stores.

Trader Joe's and Sprouts are two other grocery brands where someone can do approaches. I have more experience in Sprouts than Trader Joe's.

Over the years, I've not been focused on approaches at my closest Target locations as I have at either Kroger or Whole Foods. I perceive that Target is replacing Whole Foods as the place getting more attention from cold approachers. Like 5-10 years ago, people in pickup used to talk more about Whole Foods as the approach place. More recently, I've been hearing more and more about Target.

 

[pipeman84]

If you are both looking at the same item (fruit in your example), that's your opener. Ask her a question about the fruit - "I never know when these are ripe - how do you tell?" or something along those lines. Just get her talking. Then ask her what she's making etc. Usually she will drop some sort of info about her life into the conversation and you can use that to continue the conversation forward. I usually only talk around 5 minutes

Let's try an example of this:
Man: when do you know this oranges are ripe?
Girl: I just pick the ones which seem right..not too soft or too hard
Man: So what are you making?
Girl: Smoothies
How do you from this to some meaningful convo?

 

[Dr.Suave]

How do you guys approach girls (18-25 yo) in grocery stores? What is your opener? How long would you talk before you ask for the #? Would you kino?

To make it a bit more concrete, let's say the girl is alone picking some fruits…

Ah, yes. This was the easiest part of the grocery store to cold approach. Just play dumb and ask for their help because you dont know how to pick fruit. Their reaction will you if you are in.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

I've seen that in grocery stores too. I don't approach those women. The whole point of doing daygame is isolation. If I wanted to approach women in groups, I'd be doing approaches at a bar/nightclub.

I don't even do that much lol.

I stay away from women in groups, bro.

That is a weakness in my game.

I generally don't approach women when they are working. I find it more difficult to read cues from women working.

Awww, I LOVE approaching women while they are working.

Why do you need to wait on cues?

Plenty of hit on working women all the time. This ranges from women working the front desk in medical offices

Mannn dig this; at the clinic that I've been going to (drug tests from employers), it is as if they hired the FINEST black women applicants for the jobs there.

Damn near every single one of them was fineeee.

If I worked there, I would have have implemented the ignoring strategy on them...and if me and the wife weren't reconciling, I would have tried to get at few of them, not to mention the fact that I've received some perceived choosing signals from at least 2 of them.

, to department stores

Walmart, Target. Yes sir.

, to Hooters/Twin Peaks type waitresses, to regular bartenders/waitresses.

All fair game.

The biggest problem with working women in service sector jobs is that they tend to be nice to you as a part of their job duties, which can be confusing for a lot of women. I do find it is better to get with service sector women if you can meet them when they aren't working.

It can be more difficult to pick up on the cues from women in the service sector, true.

That is why you should shoot your shot, regardless.

They get their food at the dining facilities of the student union if they live in dorms. If they are living in a sorority house, the house mom gets the groceries and then there is a chef cooking food.

Also, a lot of young adults not going to college and still living with their parents are not going to the grocery store as much because their parents are handling grocery shopping.

None of that has any bearing on the inner cities.

The reason to have an extended conversation in the approach is to get a sense of whether a woman warrants a 1-2 hour (or more) first date.

If she can't make it through a 5 minute conversation well, what's the likelihood that she can get through a 1-2 hour first date without it turning into a disaster. The idea behind the initial conversation is to try to reduce the likelihood of the "one date, no sex, no second date" occurrence.

If you're able to make it through the first 30-60 seconds, I perceive that you're in the maybe category and not yes.

I can do you one even better; if you give her your number within 30-60 seconds, and she calls/texts you a little while later....there is a good chance that you are in good position for a 1-2 hour date.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Let's try an example of this:
Man: when do you know this oranges are ripe?
Girl: I just pick the ones which seem right..not too soft or too hard
Man: So what are you making?
Girl: Smoothies
How do you from this to some meaningful convo?

Are you asking because you want to learn how to have meaningful conversations with strangers and you don't know how? Or are you more making a statement that you do not believe it is possible to have a meaningful conversation with a stranger?

 

[pipeman84]

Are you asking because you want to learn how to have meaningful conversations with strangers and you don't know how? Or are you more making a statement that you do not believe it is possible to have a meaningful conversation with a stranger?

I'm not saying that kind of starter wouldn't work with a nice old lady/man. But a 40yrs old guy going to a 25, 30yrs old woman with that opener would receive a 'what's with this weirdo' combined with a 'go away' look in maybe 99/100 cases.

 

[Jor-El]

I'm not saying that kind of starter wouldn't work with a nice old lady/man. But a 40yrs old guy going to a 25, 30yrs old woman with that opener would receive a 'what's with this weirdo' combined with a 'go away' look in maybe 99/100 cases.

But you would gauge the interest level and escalate/eject accordingly. You wouldnt get the weirdo vibe if the conversation was organic and "normal",ie,you both happened to be standing next to one another,and,well,you wasnt odd or weird about it...I have indeed picked someone up this way,and full disclosure we met up later and it didnt work out for other reasons but thats not the point,it is possible to do the pick up as stated

 

[Divorced w 3]

Let's try an example of this:
Man: when do you know this oranges are ripe?
Girl: I just pick the ones which seem right..not too soft or too hard
Man: So what are you making?
Girl: Smoothies
How do you from this to some meaningful convo?

Man: when do you know this oranges are ripe?
Girl: I just pick the ones which seem right..not too soft or too hard
Man: slow down kid we’re in public

 

[pipeman84]

But you would gauge the interest level and escalate/eject accordingly. You wouldnt get the weirdo vibe if the conversation was organic and "normal",ie,you both happened to be standing next to one another,and,well,you wasnt odd or weird about it...I have indeed picked someone up this way,and full disclosure we met up later and it didnt work out for other reasons but thats not the point,it is possible to do the pick up as stated

I'm not saying is not possible, just seems to me very unlikely with a half decent looking woman without tons of baggage/red flags. So how did you shift the convo from fruit blabber to arranging a date?

 

[Jor-El]

I'm not saying is not possible, just seems to me very unlikely with a half decent looking woman without tons of baggage/red flags. So how did you shift the convo from fruit blabber to arranging a date?

I cant remember word for word as it was a few years ago but the main thrust of it was I made some lame gag about my cooking skills and how I needed a good woman to look after me and she sort of went oh im a good cook,oh really,well il be the judge of that you can cook me summat giggle giggle aha ok and then number close,it wasnt difficult because I felt she was interested,had she clearly not been i wouldnt have said that but it worked. You just use your senses to gauge the situation,it just "felt right" as they say

 

[SW15]

Let's try an example of this:
Man: when do you know this oranges are ripe?
Girl: I just pick the ones which seem right..not too soft or too hard
Man: So what are you making?
Girl: Smoothies
How do you from this to some meaningful convo?

If you read Roosh's "Day Bang", the idea would be to meaningfully connect either oranges or smoothies to some sort of adventuresome story in your life. You could tell a story of a time where you had orange flavored smoothies with your grandparents as a child while on a beach in Hawaii. Those are supposed to be bait drops that a woman would ask some sort of follow up question. That idea pre-supposes women have conversation skill, which has been lacking in the Millennial generation and will likely lack in Gen Z.

Most bait drops fall flat.

 

[CyrusTheGreat]

@SW15 I live near a big university, and I regularly bump into plenty of young girls. Also, do you think reading Roosh's book has helped your cold approach?

@We_ArE_VeNOM @SW15 I really hate talking, lol, especially in the cold approach situations. So, I'd rather to keep the convo on the shorter side. Regarding wasting time on the 1st date when you haven't fully gauged her interest (e.g., through 5-15mins cold approach), I usually go with coffee first dates or street food first dates, so that I can bail quickly if I don't dig her vibe

Man: when do you know this oranges are ripe?
Girl: I just pick the ones which seem right..not too soft or too hard
Man: slow down kid we’re in public

If I were a girl, this would've worked on me, lmao.

 

[Divorced w 3]

@SW15 I live near a big university, and I regularly bump into plenty of young girls. Also, do you think reading Roosh's book has helped your cold approach?

@We_ArE_VeNOM @SW15 I really hate talking, lol, especially in the cold approach situations. So, I'd rather to keep the convo on the shorter side. Regarding wasting time on the 1st date when you haven't fully gauged her interest (e.g., through 5-15mins cold approach), I usually go with coffee first dates or street food first dates, so that I can bail quickly if I don't dig her vibe


If I were a girl, this would've worked on me, lmao.

Honestly I’ve been searching for grocery store game. I’m glad you opened up this topic.

 

[SW15]

@SW15 I live near a big university, and I regularly bump into plenty of young girls. Also, do you think reading Roosh's book has helped your cold approach?

That's great that you live near a big university and are regularly bumping into young women. 31 isn't too old for a 20-24 year old. You don't have to be abnormally rich yet to get a 20-24 year old at 31 as compared to 41.

I read Roosh's "Day Bang" soon after it came out in 2011. I was in my late 20s then and new to a city. It was transformative for me because it enabled me to learn day game. I got more of a return on the tactics in "Day Bang" in the first few years after reading it than in recent years.

I had heard of non-bar approaching as far back as 2005, when I first heard about guys going to yoga classes and getting dates there. It took me many years to figure out how to put it together in terms of non-bar approaching. Even as far back as 2005, I didn't want to be reliant on bars and had wanted to do non-bar approaching. "Day Bang" was the best manual for me in terms of learning how to do non-bar approaching.

Would I recommend it in 2022-2023? Probably not. It is out of print and there are other decent options. I like both "The Rational Male" and "The Rational Male: The Players Handbook". Both are long reads and more philosophical/inner game oriented than outer game and tactic. I also read Richard Cooper's "The Unplugged Alpha" and found it to be a captivating book. It flows great and moves fast.

I usually go with coffee first dates or street food first dates, so that I can bail quickly if I don't dig her vibe

I don't do either of those style of dates. Coffee dates are difficult for escalation. I'm not a street food guy.

It still takes me effort to show up to a first date, so I want to position myself best for a good first date.

I get