"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Cold approach --> "Do I know you"

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static

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This line is so common by girls when you do a cold approach.

I got it again the other day, and I got a little nervous, and I lost.

Here's how it went:

I'm standing in line at a university restaurant. She walks in.

Me: Hey, what's up (smile)
Her: Hey
pause, stops turns toward me
Her: Do I know you?
silence
Her: Wait, I think I know you?
silence
Me (afc shvt about to be spewed with such a dull afc voice): No, if you knew me you would have remembered me.
awkwardness
Me: So what brings you here.
Her: I came to microwave my food.

she goes to the microwave, which is only a few steps away from her in the direction away from me.

I turn back to the line and some dude is standing there. He feels threated and says "go head" (in front of him in line) I'm like "no, it's not fair ,I was really wasn't in line" , him " no no, go you were here" then I just went. Maybe I still could of talked to her. I don't really care. I just would have prefered to handle it better.

I've got "Do I know you" before when doing a cold approach and I said "No, I'm static. What's your name." The convo was cool. But I just felt that was too lame this time. But, of course it wasn't as lame as " No if you knew me you would have remembered me" with an AFC voice, that is totally dull with no tonality.

comments?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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ScrewIt

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yes that's the most common line for girls.

i was at a party last time and this HB8 said that similar line to me.
i just said hm...i dont think so.

then she just flirted with me for almost hte whole nite.
her bf was at the party there of course.
 
L

Life-Trainee

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A gay dude tried to use that approach on me couple of years ago. He pretended he knew me from a party and asked me to join him for a cup of coffee I said no. Disturbing experience since I didn't realize at the time that he was trying to pick me up and I almost bought into it. I walked to the coffee shop with him then i realized what's going on and left.
 
C

chili kat

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You will never hear that line again if you say, "Hello. I'm Static, what's your name?" rather than just a "Hey, what's up."

It also sounds like you're waiting for her to start the conversation. You approached her. It's your responsibility to do that.
 
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squirrels

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There was a post on here somewhere about girls hanging out in a college library looking for guys and both of them used the "don't I know you" bit. One got a yes and one got a no, but they managed to carry out the conversation.

You can't just ricochet like that. Your "don't I know you" didn't work, so you stepped back, hit reset, and tried over again. THAT was what made it awkward.

Instead of just bailing, suggest a place you think she might go. If she looks toned, suggest you saw her at the gym. If she says no, ask her where she works out. Continue the conversation. Don't bounce off the rocks, roll off them like water.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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I

Ice Cold

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Do I know you?
NOO! You dont! Stop asking me that!!!:mad:
Ohh :eek:
Ha - I've had you! What's your name.
 
K

khanboy

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Yes, this line is common, and the reason is because these girls aren't used to having random strangers approach and be able to converse with them like normal human beings.

Most girls only get approached by guys who know them, or have previously met them in some sort of way. So, when a guy talks to them that they don't know they are afraid they have forgotten someone's name. Atleast this has been my experience. (I've also noticed chicks have a thing for names, which is why I don't bother exchanging them right away, to many to remember.)

Anyway, here's an example of what happened at a bus stop, but occurs with fair frequency elsewhere:
Me: Hey, How's it going?
Her: Not bad, yourself? (Rarely do they ask.)
Me: Heh, I'm doing great actually, blah blah...
Her: Oh, ok...Uh, do I know you?
Me: *chuckles* I'm khanboy
Her: Right, but have we met before?
Me: nope
Her: *sigh of relief* Ok, good, I thought I'd forgot you from class or something

Sure, maybe she's thinking this, or doing that, but from my experience it seems girls are just trying to make sure they haven't forgotten you. I mean, let's face it, how often does a chick get approached by cute guys over the course of a week outside of liquid courage zones?

Just a thought,
khanboy
 
A

abcd_z

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Of course, you could always bust her chops for "not being able to remember" your name. Never mind the fact that you never told her your name in the first place...
:D
 
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Ol'BlueEyes

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I use this myself

I'm tall, and as such am easily noticed. If I catch a girl giving me EC, I ask her, "Do I know you? Cuz you're looking at me like you know me."
Most often it gets a nervous laugh (almost like a neg-hit) and I segue into a convo.
 
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