Coffee shop convo sux.. help

[Thomas94305]

I study out of coffee shops a bit. Starting conversations is hit and miss, need help starting them. My problem is finding a good opening topic that is stimulating, but not awkward or too out of place.

I've opened with:
-How's the studying?
-How's the book (if she's reading)?
-What do you like about a cup of coffee?
-If she's reading a paper, "what's in the news?"

If she's friendly, it will open OK. If she's just relaxing, at the couches, looking for entertainment, the convo will kick off. But, most of the people here are reading, at a laptop, etc. The convo opens much less than half the time.

Just today, I asked a woman that was sitting down a counter from me "how's the studying?" She replied "it's OK.." She seemed to be nice, but the thread I gave her wasn't that rich. She'd have to work to get a convo going, ask me how my stuff is, or go into detail about her things. Women really don't have that skill. Like it or not, that's left up to us.

Any advice? Mystery Method openers like "Hey.. real quick... dating someone and.." or "you know why you suck?" don't seem to be right. But, I do need something that's more stimulating, but not awkward, given the venue.

T'anks

 

[Jdiggs]

Whatever topic you decide to open with, make sure you have things to say about it. For example you should be able to talk about yourself in relation to the topic. Say you opened with “how’s your studying going?”, you will most likely have to start telling her about one of your past, present or future experiences with studying and exams, eg “I just had the most RIDICULOUSLY difficult biology exam last week...” then say a little something more about the test and branch off into related areas like what you did afterwards to take your mind off the test, but keep it ‘interesting’ so she stays hooked.

You’ll know she’s interested by her perked up BL. They’ll usually start asking you questions if delivered correctly and then BAM, you’re in an engaging convo because her questions will guide you into the questions she’d be interested in you asking and into things she’d want you to talk about; this is on top of the voluntarily things she’ll tell you about herself since girls feel compelled to relate with related stories when you tell them about things in a way that captivates their attention.

 

[Thomas94305]

Thanks Jdiggs.. it's helped already.

C'mon the rest of you, UR DJ's and can't offer anything??

 

[kyphan]

Not every girl you approach is going to want to jump your bones. If they're REALLY into what they are doing (such as those reading, on a laptop, etc) then your odds drop dramatically. Keep up what you're doing, and pay closer attention to the girls who are less occupied.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Personally, I'd stay away from the subject of studying unless I know the woman is in one of my classes or if I know about the subject they're studying. Usually I'll find something online or in the local paper that's interesting and and maybe a bit controversial and will ask her opinion about it. Yahoo News usually has something interesting in it's "odd news" section. For example, today's headline was "Legally blind woman, 94, bowls a 244" Hell, what's not to talk about in that story? Plus it has a perfect subject to close on; tell the girl that the two of you should go bowling sometime. You can't close like that if you guys are talking about an English Lit. final.

 

[Maximus Rex]

Your problem is that your general conversation with anybody is weak. What you need to do is start random conversations with anybody and everybody. After you get comfortable with that, then move on to chicks. It will come naturally.

I usually go with complimenting their hair, clothes, or shoes. Try it and see how it works.