Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Coffee date IOIs noticed today... let me know how I did

tsmith2334

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 4, 2007
Messages
762
Reaction score
16
Location
NC
Went on a coffee date this afternoon, overall I'd say it went pretty well.

Anyway, here's a list of what I noticed. I was hoping you Don Juan experts (I fade in and out of the community) could let me know "A-Level IOIs" vs. "Probably just a coincidence"

1. Crossing/ uncrossing her legs. She did this OFTEN. At least 3-4 times and then I lost count. Every time she uncrossed them, she immediately crossed them in the opposite direction. I also noticed her foot distinctly pointed right/ left each time (i.e. not straight). Also noticed, for lack of a better description, her hand on her crotch before and after each crossing/ uncrossing.

2. Hair playing. Not excessive, but enough to make a statement. I've seen some girls do it like their hair was on fire, but this was much more subtle. Little "flips" and pull-backs, but almost always in conjunction with eye contact/ her smiling.

3. She kept eye contact when ever I did. I looked her in the eyes, she looked right back. Self-explanatory I guess, but the amount eye contact was above average. I've gotten eye contact from some girls like it was going out of style... this was more subtle, but definitely there. I also noticed a little face/lip/nose touching as well. I did this intentionally, and she mirrored it.

4. The conversation kept going and going. Length of a coffee date is probably the best way to gauge interest and we ended up at 55 minutes on the nose. Honestly, the first 5 minutes were a major dud (I was visibly nervous/ not in DJ mode), but we ended on highly positive note with tons of IOIs sprinkled in. Our conversations were lengthy, interesting and there was very little dead spots/ awkward pauses. We kept asking each other questions and continuing the conversation. In fact, I was the one to suggest going our separate ways as we approached the 1 hour mark. Who knows how long she might have kept the date going for.

5. Setting up part 2. She clearly said she'd want to hang out again and gave me the exact day of when her winter break starts next month (she's a college student). She also let me know the duration of next winter break, (i.e "I'll be home all of January") and told me she would be around the whole time. We even threw some ideas around for next time we chill. Whether or not she flakes remains to be seen, but she made her intentions clear, in a good way. On the other hand, I've seen girls talk in code and ignore the subject of hanging out again if they aren't interested. This is a big IOI in my humble opinion.

6. She insisted in getting the last word in. It was a coffee date, no kiss (wasn't expecting one), but it ended quite nicely. I told her how great of a time I had and she said the same. I mentiooned driving back safely/the next time I'll see her/etc. Our "final goodbye" kept lingering, and she insisted on prolonging it/ getting the last word in every time. Based on how interested women tend to behave, I took this as an IOI as well.

So those are the 6 main IOIs I noticed. Other normal stuff, sometimes considered IOIs, like laughing/compliments I took as politeness or just proper date etiquette.

So my Dr. Don Juan's how did I do? Pro's/cons? You're better at this than I am.

Based on these IOIs is Date 2 in the cards? I'm thinking it is, but I'd like the community's opinion...
 

tsmith2334

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 4, 2007
Messages
762
Reaction score
16
Location
NC
Texted her yesterday saying I had a good time and she wrote back saying she did too and that she'll see me soon w/ exclamation points and a smiley face

More positive signs, it seems

So, Don Juan community, please let me know if you think these are genuine IOIs or just women being women
 

jophil28

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 18, 2006
Messages
5,224
Reaction score
276
Location
Gold Coast. Aust.
tsmith2334 said:
Texted her yesterday saying I had a good time and she wrote back saying she did too and that she'll see me soon w/ exclamation points and a smiley face

More positive signs, it seems

So, Don Juan community, please let me know if you think these are genuine IOIs or just women being women
Your mindset is gonna defeat you here. You are a bundle of doubts and uncertainties. This is a chick, not a PhD assignment.

Assume the sale and act accordingly.

OH, BTW. she really likes your dumb azz.
 

thecurtainfalls

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 20, 2006
Messages
285
Reaction score
11
Location
Northern Cali
"You must spread some reputation around before giving it to jophil28 again"

Damn :(
 

tsmith2334

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 4, 2007
Messages
762
Reaction score
16
Location
NC
jophil28 said:
Assume the sale and act accordingly.

OH, BTW. she really likes your dumb azz.
Repped as well.

I've found I do best when I analyze least. I haven't been on this forum in months, just wanted to confirm some IOIs I remember reading about in the past.

Thanks for your reply, your blunt honesty speaks volumes.
 

Vice

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 23, 2007
Messages
2,010
Reaction score
186
She lingered around because she was waiting for you to kiss her goodnight.
 

ThatMysteriousGuy

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 30, 2009
Messages
275
Reaction score
17
Vice said:
She lingered around because she was waiting for you to kiss her goodnight.
Yep. And, I'll add that I don't usually do the "goodnight" kiss, I do it earlier, that's more unexpected and memorable.

Example: I went on a "coffee date" and we decided to grab an ice cream before calling it a day. When we left the coffee shop and got to my car I said "check this out". When she turned around I pulled her towards me and gave her a quick kiss. From that time until we finished our ice creams she was in a "deer in the headlights" daze. I then told her I had stuff to do and I'd look her up soon when I had some time.

THAT'S quite an emotional impact on a girl, unexpected kiss, (a man who takes what he wants), unexpected time, and then he's gone doing his mysterious stuff.
 

King Turi

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 29, 2009
Messages
241
Reaction score
5
1) She wanted a kiss.
2) She likes you, currently.
3) Don't text her saying you had a good time the day before ever again, makes you look like too needy, could even affect the way she sees you, tell us how it goes next time..
 

tsmith2334

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 4, 2007
Messages
762
Reaction score
16
Location
NC
King Turi said:
3) Don't text her saying you had a good time the day before ever again, makes you look like too needy,
You know, that's usually my cardinal rule. I always let the girl initiate contact again first. :trouble:

I was careful about it though, trust me. I didn't keep texting her repeatedly or say I really want to get to know you better or anything stupid like that. I've messed up enough times to know how to go about it and what not to write.

I didn't come across as overly-interested or needy, just a "I had fun catching up" type of deal.
 

tsmith2334

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 4, 2007
Messages
762
Reaction score
16
Location
NC
Vice said:
She lingered around because she was waiting for you to kiss her goodnight.
The more I think about it, the more I realize this is true.

Most likely I'll kiss her on date 2. Not worrying about that now though, will cross that bridge when I'm there.
 

thecurtainfalls

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 20, 2006
Messages
285
Reaction score
11
Location
Northern Cali
Contrary to what some posters might swear, there is nothing wrong with waiting until date 2 to kiss close, especially depending on the kind of girl she is. Wait much longer than date 3 though and it's lights out for you.
 

tafakna

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 31, 2009
Messages
207
Reaction score
12
Nothing to add, except to second the opinions above: you told you had a great time, you mentioned drive back safe, that you wanted to see her again, and then you texted again saying that you had a good time.

She wanted you to kiss her, and that expectation helped things a bit; but IMHO the behavior above can very rapidly risk everything you accomplished (specially rationalizing why it made sense).
 

tsmith2334

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 4, 2007
Messages
762
Reaction score
16
Location
NC
tafakna said:
IMHO the behavior above can very rapidly risk everything you accomplished
I get that, trust me. Over-zealous and excessive post-date messaging turn women off abruptly. I've been there more times than I care to remember.

That's not what this was. If you've ever read a SoSuave post called "Two steps forward, one step back"; that was my logic, if anything.

I'll also admit, in retrospect, I should have waited for her to follow-up first (guaranteed she would have). Also agree with you that over-analyzing the situation is going to hurt more than it helps.

But on the same token, if a nonchalant "it was nice seeing you" text (to which she was HIGHLY responsive) has the potential to undo the six IOIs displayed above, I'm probably dating the wrong girl.
 

Undispu7ed

Banned
Joined
Jan 22, 2010
Messages
15
Reaction score
0
tsmith2334 said:
I get that, trust me. Over-zealous and excessive post-date messaging turn women off abruptly. I've been there more times than I care to remember.

That's not what this was. If you've ever read a SoSuave post called "Two steps forward, one step back"; that was my logic, if anything.

I'll also admit, in retrospect, I should have waited for her to follow-up first (guaranteed she would have). Also agree with you that over-analyzing the situation is going to hurt more than it helps.

But on the same token, if a nonchalant "it was nice seeing you" text (to which she was HIGHLY responsive) has the potential to undo the six IOIs displayed above, I'm probably dating the wrong girl.
Yet you still made the mistake. Don't go it again :)
 

Alextheegreat

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 7, 2010
Messages
37
Reaction score
0
Yeah its obvious shes into you, give her a kiss next date or nothing will happen man. From what the other guys said, should have kissed her lol that would have been a made sure date for next time. Btw don't text her man shows your needy and don't have things to do alright?
 

romanticman

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 11, 2010
Messages
74
Reaction score
6
I dont know about you guys but I dont believe in making a woman wait for a kiss. If she wants it give it to her. Its a step forward. What he deal on holding off? My point is just bring her in instead of push away..why leave it to chance the quick and the dead they say. Unless I am totally wrong on this?But I doubt it.
 

SmoothTalker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 22, 2003
Messages
1,022
Reaction score
12
Location
Canada
ThatMysteriousGuy said:
When we left the coffee shop and got to my car I said "check this out". When she turned around I pulled her towards me and gave her a quick kiss. From that time until we finished our ice creams she was in a "deer in the headlights" daze.
Heh yeah, I've had the exact same experience, though mine wasn't quite as smooth. I said "Hey come here for a second" but it was pretty loud and she didn't hear me so I had to repeat myself.

I'll just go with, "hey check this out." next time.
 

tsmith2334

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 4, 2007
Messages
762
Reaction score
16
Location
NC
AlmostThere! said:
How did you meet this girl?
Met in high school, I was a senior and she was sophomore. Since then I've always been the "cool older guy".

That was 6 years ago. We've mostly talked on and off, went on a couple random dates over the years, and decided to start hanging out again. She's kind of like a random acquaintance, but there's definitely a mutual attraction whenever we do get together.

Even though I've known her for so long, we've never gotten too close; so I've always avoided the whole friend zone. That was by design. Always figured it's best to cut her off (or anyone woman for that matter) before we're considered "just friends". Rather keep the door open than get rejected.

We went on a second date after this one; which went even better. Here was my thread on date 2 (she bought me dinner): http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=169578
 
Top