"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Co-workers who are lazy

CostaDeSol

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i've noticed that several of my coworkers are very reluctant to work hard. They simply don't put very much effort in to getting work done, and as a result, i have to work harder to make up for what they didn't do.

I'm not sure why. is it laziness?

I've begun to think that it is because they are spoiled.

do any of you have experience with people like this?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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CostaDeSol

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backseatjuan said:
How do you have to work harder because of them?
we have a certain amount of work that is needed to be done at the end of the day. they have the first shift, i have the second. when i come in they need to have enough done so that i can do my part well.

Recently they have been slacking off and i've had to finish what they didn't, in addition to the work that i'm supposed to do.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Married Buried

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I have this problem. I have several co workers in my department, and they do the bare minimum they can get away with. They are lazy pieces of sh!t. Or they just don't have the brain to do the job right.

Most likely it's both. People are stupid and lazy, and I'm sure the guys I work with have not gotten laid in 10 years. I do all the extra work, and I don't care, because when layoff time comes, my ass will still have a job.

There is 1 chic in the dept, and she is lazy by default. Can't even tell she is there. Don't know why she has a job. I wish they would fire them and double my salary, I could run the department on my own.
 

speed dawg

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CostaDeSol said:
i've noticed that several of my coworkers are very reluctant to work hard. They simply don't put very much effort in to getting work done, and as a result, i have to work harder to make up for what they didn't do.

I'm not sure why. is it laziness?

I've begun to think that it is because they are spoiled.

do any of you have experience with people like this?
You need to remove yourself from these people, although subtly. You don't want to create any friction between yourself and co-workers, so be smart about how you do this. Is there any way you can deal with this directly to them? Perhaps pad their ego, tell them how much you appreciate what they do. Try and get them working FOR you. Remember, lazy people are generally stupid.....use that stupidity to your advantage.

If this doesn't work, you have to ask yourself the hard question: "Can I live with this?" If it's yes, problem solved. If it's no, either go to your boss and or quit the job (preferably have another job lined up beforehand).
 

backseatjuan

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OP


Whenever you think you doing all the work and others don't, quit the job. Find another one first though.

Also, whenever you think others think you don't do sh`t, doesn't matter if you do or not, then it's too time to quit your job.
 

CostaDeSol

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backseatjuan said:
Whenever you think you doing all the work and others don't, quit the job. Find another one first though.
thats the plan, but i don't know how long its going to be before i find another one, so i'm going to have to deal with these people for a few more months
 

CostaDeSol

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Malice said:
I have this problem. I have several co workers in my department, and they do the bare minimum they can get away with. They are lazy pieces of sh!t. Or they just don't have the brain to do the job right.

Most likely it's both. People are stupid and lazy, and I'm sure the guys I work with have not gotten laid in 10 years. I do all the extra work, and I don't care, because when layoff time comes, my ass will still have a job.

There is 1 chic in the dept, and she is lazy by default. Can't even tell she is there. Don't know why she has a job. I wish they would fire them and double my salary, I could run the department on my own.
in my situation its three people. one of them is a girl who never gets laid, i think she's just a prude. the other two have spouses but they remind me of spoiled people.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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CostaDeSol

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speed dawg said:
You need to remove yourself from these people, although subtly. You don't want to create any friction between yourself and co-workers, so be smart about how you do this. Is there any way you can deal with this directly to them? Perhaps pad their ego, tell them how much you appreciate what they do. Try and get them working FOR you. Remember, lazy people are generally stupid.....use that stupidity to your advantage.

If this doesn't work, you have to ask yourself the hard question: "Can I live with this?" If it's yes, problem solved. If it's no, either go to your boss and or quit the job (preferably have another job lined up beforehand).
i do plan on quitting but not until i find another job.

so at the moment, i just want to learn how to deal with the situation so that if this happens on my new job, i will know how to deal with it.

all i can think of are 2 options: chew them out, or have my supervisor chew them out.

unfortunately i've needed to ask favors from them recently so i've been wanting to stay on their good side.
 

Fatal Jay

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CostaDeSol said:
i've noticed that several of my coworkers are very reluctant to work hard. They simply don't put very much effort in to getting work done, and as a result, i have to work harder to make up for what they didn't do.

I'm not sure why. is it laziness?

I've begun to think that it is because they are spoiled.

do any of you have experience with people like this?

This must be your first time having a job.
 

SamTheHobit

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Work smart not hard.

That's what your co-workers are doing.
 

Married Buried

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CostaDeSol said:
in my situation its three people. one of them is a girl who never gets laid, i think she's just a prude. the other two have spouses but they remind me of spoiled people.
Mine is 1 married chic, and 2 nerds who haven't seen a pretty p/ussy in their lifetime. I can't "quit the job". I have a pimp job, where I get left alone most of the day to my own devices, and I only get bothered when the customer service people can't handle the problem, it gets escalated to me to fix.

Why would I quit when I like the job? Let the others be lazy. It's not my problem they hate their life and don't care about moving up in the company. No other department wants them. I will have a future in other departments because I am a hard worker.


SamTheHobit said:
Work smart not hard.

That's what your co-workers are doing.

How is this working out for you? You will get a reputation at work of being a lazy piece of ****, all of the bosses will know. You will never be promoted because nobody will want you in their department, and forever destined to your parents basement.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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CostaDeSol

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Fatal Jay said:
This must be your first time having a job.
no, i've had 5 jobs.

but this is the first time where the laziness of others is starting to wear me down.
 

CostaDeSol

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SamTheHobit said:
Work smart not hard.

That's what your co-workers are doing.
you have absolutely no idea whether or not MY coworkers are working smart.

at this point, all you know is that they are NOT working hard.
 

SamTheHobit

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They are not working harder and pushing the work of to you. And the boss most probably doesn't care because the work is getting done.

Thats pretty smart.
 

CostaDeSol

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SamTheHobit said:
They are not working harder and pushing the work of to you. And the boss most probably doesn't care because the work is getting done.

Thats pretty smart.
the boss gets b!tched at by other coworkers about the lazy coworkers all the time. In response the boss will b!tch at those lazy coworkers every once in a while. but he can't just fire them unless they do something really reckless.

the boss KNOWS who does most of the work, and who does the least. The boss knows who he will give a promotion to when the time comes.

there is little value in being the Least Valuable Player.
 

Married Buried

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SamTheHobit said:
They are not working harder and pushing the work of to you. And the boss most probably doesn't care because the work is getting done.

Thats pretty smart.
Don't be naive. The boss is fully aware they are lazy. Like I said, when layoff time comes, they will be gone. When promotion time comes, I will be the one getting the promotion. I have already been promoted once.

But go ahead and be like the rest. The worst of the lazy one has been doing this same job for 7 years. He has no ambition to be promoted. I have been in this department less than a year, and have surpassed him in knowledge.

They are called check collectors. They show up, do the bare minimum. If they get laid off, they will be happy sitting on their ass collecting unemployment. This explains why they have no life, no girlfriend, no house, no nothing.

I am happy you fit into this category. You must be proud.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

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