Cluster B's Don't Get Better... She Won't... Don't Kid Yourself!

[Johnny Alias]

So... I've been doing the work. Gym, banging other chicas, therapy...

I feel better every day after my ex-cluster B BPD/HPD put me through heaven, hell, heaven, hell... She's 4 months gone now, with another victim, and on the FAR side of town which is awesome...

I admit I was in a bad state about a month ago... kept breaking N/C... serious AFC behavior. I even bought a book about how to have a relationship with a BPD holding out hope that things could still somehow workout if she ever came back:

http://www.reignitethefire.net/

Homeboy must make serious money selling these to desperate chumps like myself.

There is no hope. I realize that now. Even if they can find a therapist to treat them which few do (Even docs don't want to deal with the abuse) they'd have to be willing to take a hard look at themselves and admit faults...

IMPOSSIBLE. I realize some do this to satisfy their partner or have hit bottom so hard they realized their lives were going down the toilet, but these chicks RARELY hit that level as there is always another dude eager to take up the reins of their dysfunction. Plus admitting you aren't perfect and taking blame are OUT of their programming.

I've also read that kids sometimes calm their symptoms... for a time... and then they turn batsh!t all over again and you've got a poor little one dealing with their toxic crap.

Many sites persist in saying that they get better with age, but every single anecdotal story I've read online says they get WORSE. Their old charms like the hot body and the pretty face go away, but then they turn their drama addiction to hypochondria and increasing their enemy list. At this point anyone who gave a damn about them is sick and tired of their crap and their hot looks are gone... 90% of the reason we put up with them in the first place!!!!

My ex's mom is like this. She's bona fide cluster b, her family and friends hate her for her negativity, drama, and the fact that she has mooched off of ALL of them for years. She now lives in a basement apartment with no job and no savings... would have had to move in with us if I'd ever married her daughter that she taught so well. God...

On top of all this mine was an alcoholic and the prognosis there is VERY grim. Very, very few actually recover for any significant amount of time and relapses abound... this is also assuming she ever admits she has a problem which again is IMPOSSIBLE as she can't admit fault with herself.

That's my rant. If you want to give your two cents on that drivel called hope for this I'd love to hear it. Being a confident Alpha Male, Meds, DBT, whatever... smoke and mirrors. They are forces of nature. You can't cure a ravenous rabid wolf... BECAUSE IT'S ALREADY WHAT IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE.

Childhood trauma to an extent I don't think any of us can fully comprehend. Don't pity it, try to understand it, fix it, just run from it.

 

[LP700-4]

Great post and it's good to see someone talk about this so that other men out there know they aren't alone.q

 

[orbion2013]

man i wish i had walked away from my ex a long time ago... had so many opportunities... but i stayed around, she would want me back & promise to change.

nothing changes these woman... nothing!

if she is trouble... then just get the f@ck out asap!

 

[Johnny Alias]

Dont feel bad Orbion. I moved mine in with me! 4 years. Jesus.

Another thing to remember especially with age... ever notice how your Cluster B goes NUTS when they're PMSing?? I mean serious psycho hose beast kind of nuts.

Now... fast forward to the future you imagined with her with the white picket fence and 1.5 kids... now you get to look forward to.... PRE MENOPAUSE!!! This is when their hormones go INSANE and the instances of rage and abuse will skyrocket!!! Think GODZILLA and it doesn't go away.

You got out. Doesn't matter how long it took. Truly. Good work.

 

[orbion2013]

Dont feel bad Orbion. I moved mine in with me! 4 years. Jesus.

Another thing to remember especially with age... ever notice how your Cluster B goes NUTS when they're PMSing?? I mean serious psycho hose beast kind of nuts.

Now... fast forward to the future you imagined with her with the white picket fence and 1.5 kids... now you get to look forward to.... PRE MENOPAUSE!!! This is when their hormones go INSANE and the instances of rage and abuse will skyrocket!!! Think GODZILLA and it doesn't go away.

You got out. Doesn't matter how long it took. Truly. Good work.

well look at it this way... i did not move in with her (even tho that was on the cards very soon)

did not marry her or have kids with her.... so in some ways made a lucky escape

 

[Lotus Effect]

Very good man!

I also tried everything to fix and go back with her, with just showed me how much more manic she is. Her poison is still lingering on me, and for what you told me, I can tell you, it will linger on you for a little more than you expect. I was dumped 7 months ago.

Anyway, now she is with another dude, and you know what is so amazing, the dude is just like me (In fact he LOOKS JUST LIKE ME), former afc who got familiarized with game, but still full of insecurities, he did everything to get better to get her, and he did, so kudos to him, but he is just another victim like me that felt for her amazing looks...

Well, it won't be long until another brazilian show up in the NC Chalenge thread trying to understand what the f*ck just happened. Hahahaha!

And about her mother, well, I told this a million times before on this forum, but I will say it again. She is fifity something, has two kids she was not able to raise because she is batsh*t crazy, left one with the grandma and my ex with her half sisters from her father. Completely crazy. Moved from Brazil to Buenos Aires, lives with 2 twenty something girls believing she is got it, completely isolated from her family and is always jumping from guy to guy, since probably no one can handle her for more than a second night. Depressive and Bipolar. Well pretty much a recipe for a disaster.

So, there could be no way my Ex could have been a normal person. Anyway I was her 4th long term Boyfriend and when we started dating, she was only 19, which tells a lot. Too bad I could not see all of this back then!

 

[orbion2013]

well seriously i don't even know how to describe mine....

cluster b, bdp, or just passive aggressive.... there is defo defo something not right about her.

man i hate the idea of her being with some other dude... but reality is, she will be...

i know for a fact i cannot be with her... as it's a choice between her & my sanity and well being..

any encouriging stories of you getting over a woman like this??

 

[El Suave]

Mine went straight to dating another guy after I dumped her. They just can't be alone! I have no problem being alone. I has single for 10 years before I met her. I had a constant supply of pu**y so what's the point in having a gf. She called me a week after she started to be with this other guy to tell me she's going to marry him. Wished them both luck. Glad it's not me.
She's on her best behavior now with him till she locks him down, and then the demons come out again.
You can not fix them. I tried and it doesn't work. That's what brought me to this site. Just like the OP said, I fooled myself that this disease is maybe like a flu or something treatable. Hell no. Curious enough this site also helped me get back to who I used to be. I was a DJ naturally, even though I had no idea. I was doing everything that's in the bible and that's why it worked with so many girls.
Now, I have decided to stay single for at least another 2 years, and I think that's the secret to it all. When you decide on that, they are powerless against you. Not that it's a competition, but your frame of mind is different. You let them carry on with their BS and it doesn't affect you because in your mind you know they have no chance of being anything other than a FWB.

 

[orbion2013]

Mine went straight to dating another guy after I dumped her. They just can't be alone! I have no problem being alone. I has single for 10 years before I met her. I had a constant supply of pu**y so what's the point in having a gf. She called me a week after she started to be with this other guy to tell me she's going to marry him. Wished them both luck. Glad it's not me.
She's on her best behavior now with him till she locks him down, and then the demons come out again.
You can not fix them. I tried and it doesn't work. That's what brought me to this site. Just like the OP said, I fooled myself that this disease is maybe like a flu or something treatable. Hell no. Curious enough this site also helped me get back to who I used to be. I was a DJ naturally, even though I had no idea. I was doing everything that's in the bible and that's why it worked with so many girls.
Now, I have decided to stay single for at least another 2 years, and I think that's the secret to it all. When you decide on that, they are powerless against you. Not that it's a competition, but your frame of mind is different. You let them carry on with their BS and it doesn't affect you because in your mind you know they have no chance of being anything other than a FWB.

i,m not sure if mine is seeing another dude... no news is good new i guess!!

maybe she is, maybe she is not.... neither do i want to know!

is there any hope guys? will i get over this experience? kinda feel ****Ty right now

 

[El Suave]

I was happy when I found out she is dating somebody else. Not saying it didn't sting, but when she put pictures up on facebook with him I knew 150% there's no way I will take her back. I absolutely cannot have family and friends laugh behind my back if I take her back. I worked hard to get respect from people and I will never let her strip that away from me. Especially when everybody that knows us both says she is toxic. Typicall chick that grew up without a daddy and a mommy that was never there. Good riddance.
Orbion, you will get better. We all did. Don't think for a second that you are weaker than anybody else on here.
I'll tell you what, every time you think of her, do 10 sittups or 10 push ups. You're gonna get tired of thinking of her and improve your looks. Haha

 

[Lotus Effect]

What I can tell you orbion is that is going to last a little more than expected.

Mine dumped me 7 months ago, and only now I'm beggining to get better. Anyway, people are different, and I tried everything to get back together with her for 4 of this 7 months. So in fact there is only 3 months of healing!

But on a side note, yesterday I cried a LOT about it, because I found out she is dating her "best friend" that she could never see as relationship material, and that there was no reason whatsover for me to be jealous about him.


EDIT: Excelent Advice ElSuave! Too bad I must spread some rep to rep you again!

 

[Johnny Alias]

Orb here is what I want you to do. Think of her as a robot... And really she is not far off. EVERYTHING she does is a preprogrammed script. All of it including loving you... Which she didn't man. She didn't. It was all an act.

I know that's hard to hear but the sooner you accept it the sooner you can detach and move on.

She will not love the next guy and didn't love the one before you.

She is all She cares about. She is a robot programmed to survive.

Everything she EVER did for you had an ulterior motive. All of it. Even if it was for her own pleasure. It was NEVER about you.

Take that in. Accept it. Cry about it as much as you need. But realize its reality.

If you're hurting bad see a therapist and get a script for Xanax. I don't take them often but when I can't get that crazy devil off my mind I'll pop a half and give myself a break.

Work out. I've gained 7 pounds of muscle. The girl I'm tagging now has a much better body than the old one did.

You can do this man. Really. Hang with friends. Also STOP talking about her except on here and with therapist.

 

[orbion2013]

Orb here is what I want you to do. Think of her as a robot... And really she is not far off. EVERYTHING she does is a preprogrammed script. All of it including loving you... Which she didn't man. She didn't. It was all an act.

I know that's hard to hear but the sooner you accept it the sooner you can detach and move on.

She will not love the next guy and didn't love the one before you.

She is all She cares about. She is a robot programmed to survive.

Everything she EVER did for you had an ulterior motive. All of it. Even if it was for her own pleasure. It was NEVER about you.

Take that in. Accept it. Cry about it as much as you need. But realize its reality.

If you're hurting bad see a therapist and get a script for Xanax. I don't take them often but when I can't get that crazy devil off my mind I'll pop a half and give myself a break.

Work out. I've gained 7 pounds of muscle. The girl I'm tagging now has a much better body than the old one did.

You can do this man. Really. Hang with friends. Also STOP talking about her except on here and with therapist.

thats exactly how it feels man... it feels like the whole thing was f@cking fake!

to be honest i don't care too much about her being out of my life now... she was poison & it had to be done!

it's the regret that is eating me up... how could i let a f@cking woman do this to me...

on the up side... i am still eating good, hitting the gym again, and getting that pump back!


i,m not really interested in meeting other woman at the moment...

i keep telling myself she was a low value slut with nothing to offer me... no kids, not stable future... no security, loyalty or happiness...

so why cry over garbage like this