Clubbing alone?

[sosousage]

Note:
- I was only twice in club with friends but they are virgins to this day and they dont want it anymore
- i cant dance
- i feel extremaly awkward going solo

But I want to go a lot of ppl cant dance but they go with friends. My friends are introverted but I want to go clubbing every friday.

If you are with someone, you can always talk to when you feel like theres nothing to do.

What should I do?

 

[byers90]

Clubbing, nah don't go alone man. It helps to do that with friends. If you are going solo I suggest a bar more than anything.

Learning to dance and all that is definitely a good thing though.

 

[BeExcellent]

- i cant dance
- i feel extremaly awkward going solo

Look at it this way. Here above you have an opportunity for personal growth. Many of the men I know who do very well with women go out lone wolf. You feel self conscious and awkward about going out alone to the club. Why is that? Because you think everybody is going to take notice of you and judge you a loser with no friends.

This is a self defeating mindset. It's also patently false. Nobody will care in reality. How do I know?

I used to be in the same boat many years ago. I loved the music, loved dance, and loved the energy in the club. I got into that environment because my first boyfriend introduced me to it in college. So at first I always went with him. After we broke up I missed the energy, the music, etc. My girlfriends didn't care to go as much as I did and I was at that time, like you, very self conscious.

So I decided to go anyway, alone. Even though I felt silly at first. Here's what I did. And yes I felt extremely awkward the first several times. I picked a spot and watched people. I learned who the "cool" people were by watching. I watched the way people danced, the way they moved...and yes, giant nerd that I am, I went back home and put on music and got in front of a mirror and practiced how to dance like the people I thought were cool dancers, until I got good.

Um, this was not an overnight project people, I was a very geeky girl and very self conscious in those days.

At the same time I started hanging out in a spot right near where the cool people would hang out. I would say hello, what's up, and sometimes smile. I would dance by myself when a good tune came on. And I actually became a really good dancer over time. Good enough to show off. And so I did. In a matter of months I BECAME one of the "cool" people. Suddenly people wanted to hang out with me (who'da thought??) Some of those "cool" people are still my friends almost 30 years later.

I would go out with my girlfriends (who would go someplace and drink, or eat or whatever) and I was famous for always taking my own car. Why? I was going to ditch them after a while and go dancing and hang out with my club buddies. My friends teased me some about it, but I never got drunk (I had to drive) and I ended up being in the dj scene and learning about the nightclubs from a business perspective. I saw lots of drugs, but I never got into that, and people saw me as the cool girl with self control. Mostly I'd drink water or soda and I might smoke 1 cigarette (you know you are an extreme lightweight when 1 cigarette gives you a buzz, lol). And I'd dance for hours and hours. Was in AMAZING shape after a while from all the dancing.

Whenever people ask me how I got so self confident and self assured I share that story. Going to the clubs alone taught me a great deal about myself, about other people, and about social interactions. I consider those months where I felt so silly and awkward the formative period that laid the foundation for who I am now. I have never feared going into any venue alone since (and I have gone to high end art openings, public speaking engagements, and various other environments where I walk in as a stranger and out as a friend or associate.)

So get over yourself, get out of your shell and GO. And since today is Friday? We expect to see a field report here tomorrow about how it went.

 

[byers90]

i dont like dancing much and i used to go out alone plenty. (out of choice)

theres tons of girls out there that dont dance either or get dragged out by their friends as well. no reason you cant meet any of them. just post up at the bar. unofficial rule is, if someone is hanging at the bar, they are open to being talked to.

i dont get why going out alone is uncomfortable for many ppl. some of my most memorable and smoothest moments have been when out alone

It's not to say that you can't...it's just at clubs people tend to go in packs. And sometimes these groups of people don't want to be bothered (go figure). You just don't want to be that one person standing around.

A person should defintiely feel confident enough to go alone, sure, but in those places it helps to at least have one friend with you.

 

[Who Dares Win]

You should explain why you wanna go there.

If you go there cause you like attending that environment and the settings then go ahead and have fun, wheter you dance good or not you will still enjoy if you like the place.

If you go there to pick up girls and have fun in that way well, going solo with no dance skills at a club in 2017 is like reaching a valley of tears unless you are above average in terms or looks and social skills.

I would say you have to be at least a 7 in looks and a 8 in social skills to have fun solo, anything less than a 7 you wont even get the time to talk and anything less than great social skills will burn you.

You can afford average social skills only if you are a 8 or more, but wheter you are hot or a great speaker you still need a minimum of the other.

You basically face all the necessary criteria to get the attention of a girl, plus her b1tch shield, her group of friends, their anticreep radar and plenty of competition.

If you believe "conficende" and showing that you are having fun are gonna help in a 2017 club, Im afraid a terrible awakening awaits you.

Btw no need for me to remind you that your experience in a club flying solo as a man is totally different than the one of a woman for obvious reasons you surely know.