"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Clothes

BadBoy89

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Got a girl from UK coming to stay with me for a few days. I hate doing it but I went to buy new clothes today. The men’s section was on the 3rd floor, climbed up 3 sets of stairs. There was a good looking young Mexican girl there ready to help. It was in the morning so no one else there In the men’s section except another Chinese girl who was working too.

Now I picked up items with Mexican girls help, made her laugh a lot, The Chinese girl working there was over hearing us and laughing too, Near the end, I told the Mexican girl “I got a girl coming to stay with me from overseas so I thought I get some new stuff, but really do clothes matter? I mean, if the guy is not tall, does the girl really care about his clothes?” She said “No she doesn’t. You are right.” Now granted this girl was going to get commission from my purchase, so she was taking a risk by agreeing with me.

Now I don’t this one girl to represent what all women think, but it was interesting to hear her say that.

——-

Thoughts?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Scaramouche

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Hi BadBoy,
While I have never met an American Lady in this Country,I have met several English Girls....They all dressed really well,a good indication that they are fussy,that goes for shoes too....And dress does matter,one of my dancing friends turned up in a Tuxedo and bow tie to a venue,rumour had it that he had started a job as waiter,at a swank Restaurant,he certainly received unaccustomed attention from the Ladies.
 
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characternote

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I agree with that girl.

Good clothes don’t really raise your looks/attraction rating. At best, they “hold the line” and prevent the guy from losing points due to bad fashion/fit.

So, good fashion and fit is worth it, but it’s not a silver bullet.
yep. It's probably under the same umbrella as 'game' - e.g if you're not her type it's not gonna help. And the bar is basically don't be extremely boring and weird. If she thinks you're hot, then you already have enough 'game' and if she doesn't think you're hot, there's not enough 'game' in the world lol

So with clothes it's the same. If she is attracted to you, unless you are dressed like edward scissorhands, it's not really a big deal. And if you are NOT her type (too old, ugly, fat, whatever) then the best fashion on earth isn't gonna cut any ice
 

SW15

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Good clothes don’t really raise your looks/attraction rating. At best, they “hold the line” and prevent the guy from losing points due to bad fashion/fit.

So, good fashion and fit is worth it, but it’s not a silver bullet.
with clothes it's the same. If she is attracted to you, unless you are dressed like edward scissorhands, it's not really a big deal. And if you are NOT her type (too old, ugly, fat, whatever) then the best fashion on earth isn't gonna cut any ice
Good clothes and a good sense of fashion won't matter too much with SMV. It's possible to lose points on bad fashion/fit but rarely would anyone gain meaningful points on fashion/fit of clothes.

In terms of looks, height and physique matter most.

The next tier for looks would be facial aesthetics, balding, and penis size.

After those two tiers, clothes then become relevant. Apparel fashion/fit is around the same tier as a haircut. I think a haircut/hair style is more important because it is a close offshoot of the balding variable above.

It's probably under the same umbrella as 'game' - e.g if you're not her type it's not gonna help. And the bar is basically don't be extremely boring and weird.
You are using 'game' here about the personality aspects of 'game'. Game is the total sum of looks, money, status, and personality. I've perceived personality to be the least important of the four factors.

If she thinks you're hot, then you already have enough 'game' and if she doesn't think you're hot, there's not enough 'game' in the world
This is applicable to one of the best seducers I have known in my lifetime. He is a 6'4" White male. He's now married with a child. When I observed part of his seduction prime in the early to mid 2010s, I was unimpressed with his verbal game. His verbal game ('personality') was mediocre at best. He had looks, a good physique, and knew which women were his target market. This is how he put up a triple digit notch count.

He didn't do it on personality or clothing.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Mike32ct

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In MDJ’s favorite video clip from the movie Whatever, Raphael tried to fashion-max. He had a suit, stylish tie and stylish eyeglass frames. But due to his lack of looks (and probably age), he had zero chance in that club and was completely ignored by everyone except his buddy.
 
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characternote

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You are using 'game' here about the personality aspects of 'game'. Game is the total sum of looks, money, status, and personality
Indeed I am.
It will always have that definition in my eyes. I don't think i've ever heard it otherwise
I mean to me, it's silly to call looks and money, 'game'.
Imagine some young guy who looks like a male model who is also a trust fund baby and has legit F-U money.
But he's also kinda shy and awkward and has zero charisma.
Now, that guy is STILL gonna be banging ridiculously hot 18 year olds at the drop of a hat. I had a wing like that (very good looks, no personality). And it sounds like your mate was in a similar boat.

I just find it weird that I could then say 'man, that guy has some serious game!!!'. When we're talking about a guy with no personality kinda thing.

And of course there could be an older guy. He's 60! He is really funny and quick witted. Knows how to push peoples buttons and get them talking. Is a bit cheeky ett etc. BUT he's absolutely INVISIBLE to the hot teenagers in the club. His 'game' is irrelevant. There's nothing he could say to make him suddenly 'hot sexy and attractive' in her eyes. Just not her 'type'. He's just not a sexual option for her. He isn't on her radar. Yet i'd say he has 'game'

personality to be the least important of the four factors
Yes. I'd agree with you for sure (as basically said above. You need your 'foot in the door' so to speak, and so naturally 'game'/personality is the least important
(although personally i'd put face first. That's more or less based on my experience in my own life and with various wings. The handsome guys just clean up!)

A lot of is is just semantics, though.

Like I think I saw you call some guy on here an excellent 'seducer' despite the fact he's admitted he got laid due to his looks and nothing else. I can see why you'd call that 'seduction' but it just seems 'off' to me in terms of definition
 
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Hamurabimbi

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Got a girl from UK coming to stay with me for a few days. I hate doing it but I went to buy new clothes today. The men’s section was on the 3rd floor, climbed up 3 sets of stairs. There was a good looking young Mexican girl there ready to help. It was in the morning so no one else there In the men’s section except another Chinese girl who was working too.

Now I picked up items with Mexican girls help, made her laugh a lot, The Chinese girl working there was over hearing us and laughing too, Near the end, I told the Mexican girl “I got a girl coming to stay with me from overseas so I thought I get some new stuff, but really do clothes matter? I mean, if the guy is not tall, does the girl really care about his clothes?” She said “No she doesn’t. You are right.” Now granted this girl was going to get commission from my purchase, so she was taking a risk by agreeing with me.

Now I don’t this one girl to represent what all women think, but it was interesting to hear her say that.

Thoughts?
I’m not tall by any means. But I get complimented in clothes. Even so-so clothes.

A few examples:
I walked into a coffee shop wearing camo pants. A girl sitting at a table looked at me and said: ‘I like your pants.’

I walked into a cafe one morning dressed in grey sweats. The cashiers gave me a smile & said. ‘Oh. I digging the sweats.’

And here was a Tinder match who liked the photo of me in a suit.

So. Being tall isn’t necessary. Helpful. Of course. But not necessary. .

1715700427656.jpeg
 

zekko

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Near the end, I told the Mexican girl “I got a girl coming to stay with me from overseas so I thought I get some new stuff, but really do clothes matter? I mean, if the guy is not tall, does the girl really care about his clothes?” She said “No she doesn’t. You are right.” Now granted this girl was going to get commission from my purchase, so she was taking a risk by agreeing with me.
I disagree, I do think clothes matter. Not in a "wow, you have fancy clothes" kind of way, but just wearing something that you look good in, and are comfortable in, and that suit you. Newer clothes do tend to look better than older, faded, worn out clothes, so there is that. But you don't want to look try hard either. Just jeans and a white t-shirt can be great if the guy looks good in them.

Maybe she's saying that if the girl isn't attracted to him, clothes aren't going to matter. And that is probably true, but a first impression is always a good thing.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Hamurabimbi

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Why did you tell her that? Just flexing? Sounds like you want to increase your SMV, but these statements in general do the opposite, because if you're really that type that has women coming over a lot, you don't talk about it.


Again, why did you ask her that? Why display insecurity about your attractiveness? Why point out your frustration? None of that will arouse her. Even if you're not trying to seduce her, why put your self esteem on display like that?

With regards to the question, I'd say, "Clothes do make the man", but the clothes / style has to be congruent with your personality.
AA is 100% correct on this!
 

SW15

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100% disagree. Face>>>>everything.
Both are more important than clothes. That's the purpose of this thread.

Clothes might be more important than a Rolex. For what it would cost to obtain a Rolex, a man could buy a lot of good clothes and shoes. We have discussed Rolexes at length in the thread below.

 

zekko

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I don't wear expensive brand clothes and I don't look affluent, but many women compliment me on my style.
Well, if you're going to wear a tortie, you're liable to get compliments.
 

BadBoy89

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these statements in general do the opposite, because if you're really that type that has women coming over a lot, you don't talk about it.
That’s a major assumption.

By that rationale, if a guy goes to a store, and does not talk about girls, that means he gets a lot of girls.

If a guy talks about girls -> means he doesn’t get girls
If a guy does not talk about girls -> means he gets girls

If a guy does not talk about girls -> means he’s shy and a virgin
If a guy does talk about girls -> means he is confident and alpha

Guess it depends what day of the week it is.

Again, why did you ask her that? Why display insecurity about your attractiveness? Why point out your frustration? None of that will arouse her. Even if you're not trying to seduce her, why put your self esteem on display like that?
Again that’s an assumpton.

I am spending my money. I wanted her to say “Yes, you are right, it doesn’t matter, I’ll give you 50% off.”

Your are looking your own point of view without looking at mine. Instead of saying “Nice try, you tried to get a discount.” You say “Why display your insecurity about attractiveness?”

Interesting how you go right to the self confidence / put down issue rather than any other issue. It’s all about perspective.
 

The Duke

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Frank, Dusty, and Billy all said clothes mattered....every girl's crazy about a sharp dressed man. I bet those dudes got as much pu$$y as they wanted.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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The Duke

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Clothes matter. Initial perception is based on what you look like.

If you don't get regular compliments on your attire, you're right it doesn't matter. But if you do, well then you know what I'm talking about. Make sense?
 

Scaramouche

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That looked like a tortoiseshell cat, maybe I was wrong?
Hi Zecko,
Looks like a Black Cat to me,were dear old Amsterdam born a bit earlier he would have been burnt at the stake as a Warlock.
 

Captain Rizz

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I agree with that girl.

Good clothes don’t really raise your looks/attraction rating. At best, they “hold the line” and prevent the guy from losing points due to bad fashion/fit.

So, good fashion and fit is worth it, but it’s not a silver bullet.
Sorry, but this is wrong.

Clothes really make a difference in dating. Mark Zuckerberg recently upgraded his style, and he went from "robot alien" to "****boy" immediately.

So yes: clothes matter for looksmaxxing. But out of just pure physical looks, the project a vibe that can set your entire frame for women. Do you look like a nerd? You'll be viewed and treated as one. Do you look like a bad boy? You'll be viewed and treated as one. Do you look adventurous and interesting? same thing...
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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