"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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closed girl last week, how to move on?

scubasteve

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first time poster, so please bear with any etiquette breaches.

i've been interning in another country for about a month and a half, and while i'm not a player at ALL back in the states, i've sort of blossomed a little bit here and somehow turned myself into the alpha male at work (law firm, lots of hot girls but very low on eligible guys). there a girl here that i've been very friendly with since day 1, and we've been flirting back and forth for a few weeks. i asked her to dinner a few weeks ago, but she ditched at the last minute and i was annoyed to the point that i didn't reschedule, until last week she asked me to dinner out of the blue. we go out, hang out with my friends for a while, and come back to my place. after hanging out for a bit, i try to kiss her and she turns away, saying how i shouldn't be interested in her and she didn't think she was interested in that way. i told her i didn't accept that, since we were sitting in my apartment at three in the morning reading magazines. after a while she asks if she can sleep over and have breakfast with me in the morning, so i tell her to go sleep in my room. she leaves the door open, i go in and close, and it's all good.

over the weekend she's sending me all these cutesy texts with sweetheart and darling, but monday at work after i suggested dinner, she busts out with "you shouldn't want me, i might break your heart." we both know that i'm leaving in two weeks, and in some fit of honesty/stupidity tell her, "i know that we probably have no future, but i like hanging out with you and i'd like to hang out with you in the two weeks that i left." we get into a retarded conversation where she says that there's no reason for me to develop anything with her because i'm leaving, and me saying that's bull****. anyway, i tell her that's what i think and it's up to her, she's very enigmatic about it and i have no clue what's going on. the cute texts continue, but we haven't talked much today and she seems emo.

is she interested in hooking up more? is she psychotic? did i completely **** up with the no future line? should i continue acting like i have been for the past month, get moody with her, or what?

sorry for the length/format. thanks in advance for everyone's help.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Krang!

Don Juan
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Noooo - don't do the "I like to hang out with you and I would like to sleep with you. Could we have sex please please oh pretty please!"
I say stop rationalising with her - your minds are meeting (when it should be other parts) and she likes to know you want her and that she is in control. You are begging her to sleep with you in an AFC'ish way.
Tell her to come by your place after work and if she doesn't stop talking to her on any other terms than strictly buisness - she is stringing you along... Less words more action! Basically you need to convey the same message you have been doing but with actions instead of words. The "I will break your heart" is soooo BS! She doesnt give a fvck, she is breaking your heart right now. You need to show her who is in fact in control of the situation - you don't NEED to sleep with her and you definately don't need to have conversations about how appropriate you guys hooking up would be. Next time you get her to your place you sleep with her, she is interested but you are to much of a chump at the moment!
 

scubasteve

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yeah, i figured i turned from player to AFC after the first night. killself.
 

Phyzzle

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Basically, she's being honest. She doesn't really want anything to do with you, just some sex. When she says "you shouldn't want me, i might break your heart," just laugh it off, and say "damn, it's just some dinner! you'd need more than a month to get a piece o my heart."

Make it so you don't really care.
 
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