Close friend betrayed my trust

[jammy1257]

I have told my friend before all this happened that I liked her and I trusted him not to tell or to make things awkward, but he stupidly said that I liked her infront of her and a few other people in my social circle. I thought it was only a matter of time before she figures it out so then I confessed and that is when she said I only think of you as a friend.

My friend has done this twice, I feel that my friend has betrayed my trust and I am incredibly angry. I made him promise not to do this again after the first time he did it. I feel that he likes her too, with the way he keeps on staring at her and flirting with her I feel he has done this to ruin things for me, the worst thing is he's got a girlfriend.

I don't know what to do and I feel I can't pretend I'm not angry at him any longer.

What shall I do? How do I deal with my anger?

PLEASE tell me if you think I'm overreacting?

 

[Tyson420]

Are you in High School? Sounds like it. Beat him up. You're not really gonna get arrested anyway.

That's what we did back in the day. No weapons, no guns. Just our fists,

If not then I dunno.

 

[jammy1257]

Are you in High School? Sounds like it. Beat him up. You're not really gonna get arrested anyway.

That's what we did back in the day. No weapons, no guns. Just our fists,

If not then I dunno.

I'm not in high school I'm in university I'm 21, more than old enough to get arrested for assault so I don't want to go **** up my future for this guy.

 

[The_411]

a) get new friends
b) man up
c) dating isn't the inquisition so no need for confessing.

If you like a girl don't tell you guy friends just talk to her. Invariably your guy friends will screw it up whether on purpose or accident unless you know them very well.

So next time you see a girl you like don't tell her show her. Chat her up tease her ... play the game ...

When a girl leanrs that you like her and you didn't initiate and take initiative almost always it will end with a LJBF because you didn't show the sack to ask her out.

Women do that crap in hopes that a guy will ask them out.

Men just go after what they want.

In the future if you like a girl keep it to yourself.

 

[Iceberg]

The_411 said it right.

Why is it such a big deal if a girl knows that you like her? Like he said, it's not a matter of telling her...You just gotta act like a guy who isn't afraid of his sexuality (aka liking girls).

I mean, yeah what your friend did was wrong. But now you know...don't tell him anything.

 

[jammy1257]

Well I grew up confiding in my friends, I have noone else to talk to things about, I thought this was listed under "guy stuff" and we being guys talk about this stuff from time to time.

I know better now I guess but it's a big deal to me because I had a feeling that she didn't like me that way and I didn't want to ruin the friendship and make things awkward because she's IN MY social circle, now everyone feels that something has happened between us and they will ask questions and rumours will spread and it's going to cause me more drama and piss me off.

What happened to friendship does it not exist? Just because we both like a girl and I made my move first, we have to try and compete to the death for some girl?

 

[Tyson420]

this happens more often than you think.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Sometimes I don't understand you guys. If you like a girl ask her out. If I like a girl she is going to find out as soon as I find out I like her. I don't try to play games to get the girl to like me. The first conversation I strike with the girl is going to consist of me pulling the digits at the close of the conversation. Maybe this is because the only social social I hang with consists of my Fraternity brothers... IDK.

But heres some advice to the OP. Don't say he is your friend because he isn't. A friend wouldn't f*ck you over like that. Heres another tip. If you like a girl don't tell anyone with your words. It is none of their business. You are 21 and talking about "liking" girls. Sounds like some high school stuff to be honest with you.

Find a new friend!

 

[Tyson420]

Your friend liked that girl.

If the girl you're after is pretty, chances are you and your friend have that in common the sense you're both attracted to the same girl. It's an extremely sad state of affairs when a friend doesn't want to see his bro be happy.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

Just fvck him up. If he calls the cops, he's a pvssy and she's not going to go for him either.

 

[BlackwaterPark]

For some guys friendship is like a constant cost benefit analysis. Your friendship brings them certain social status and things to do when they gets bored. The very moment they stand to gain more from cutting you down than being your buddy, all bets are off and theyll **** you over like you couldn't believe. Frankly I'd rather have a guy who's a sworn enemy than friends like this.

 

[irocknike23]

this happened to me before...

a situation where you and your friend like the same girl that you both see often(assuming thats going on with you)

this is an ugly situation and theres no good way out of it. if you want the girl more than you friend you going to have to make stronger moves on her than he does and kinda try to bring him down because he will do this to you

IF you want to keep your friend(the right thing to do) instead of the girl than simply take him aside and call him out on it and just get him to admit he likes her and just decide who got dibs on her and the other back off

last summer me and my bestfriend liked the same girl and we were in an ass kissing contest(never doing that again) and it was same with you he would blurt out stuff in front of her and tell her my bad past and i would do the same to him it almost ruined our friendship but over time we decide no ***** is worth that....

competing for chicks against random dudes-easy
competing for chicks against your friend-hard and is very ugly, because most of the time he knows your ugly past and current bad tendencies and you know his..
good luck

 

[Alle_Gory]

In the future if you like a girl keep it to yourself.

In the future, don't tell anyone anything. If they don't know what you're up to they can't work against you.

Always keep your mouth shut about your plans.

 

[Alle_Gory]

For some guys friendship is like a constant cost benefit analysis. Your friendship brings them certain social status and things to do when they gets bored. The very moment they stand to gain more from cutting you down than being your buddy, all bets are off and theyll **** you over like you couldn't believe. Frankly I'd rather have a guy who's a sworn enemy than friends like this.

Those are called friends of convenience. Not real friends.

A person who is only around when it is easy and convenient for them. They are the people who, if not placed around us, (ex. dorm rooms), all the time, they wouldn't really be friends. They are usually used to do things for you, if you need a ride to and from school, etc. They are basically friends who need you around when they need a favor, or when they are just so bored out of their minds that they would rather hang out with you than sit around all day, but they'd never put you first.

Alice lives down the street.
You: Hey what are you doing today? Want to stop by?
Alice: Sure! I'd love to hang out.

Alice lives 10 miles away, and is sitting at home watching Judge Judy reruns all days.

You: Hey what are you doing today? Want to stop by?
Alice: Oh, no, I'm really busy. Maybe some other time.

* You don't hear from Alice again.

 

[BettorOffSingle]

I have told my friend before all this happened that I liked her and I trusted him not to tell or to make things awkward, but he stupidly said that I liked her infront of her and a few other people in my social circle. I thought it was only a matter of time before she figures it out so then I confessed and that is when she said I only think of you as a friend.

My friend has done this twice, I feel that my friend has betrayed my trust and I am incredibly angry. I made him promise not to do this again after the first time he did it. I feel that he likes her too, with the way he keeps on staring at her and flirting with her I feel he has done this to ruin things for me, the worst thing is he's got a girlfriend.

I don't know what to do and I feel I can't pretend I'm not angry at him any longer.

What shall I do? How do I deal with my anger?

PLEASE tell me if you think I'm overreacting?

I had a group of physics-major friends at school diss Kate to me left and right, as if she were some vapid party girl, when she went on to become a millionaire fashion exec, something obvious to anyone with a brain even when we were eighteen.

What I realized later on was that my "best friend" and his little geek posse WANTED HER BADLY, and was sabotaging me from the get-go. Fortunately, kate was immune to outside influences, so it didn't matter in the end, but with almost any other woman, it would have.

Super-elites as a rule won't be impacted by stuff like this. You can always let her know that your friend does not speak for you, and just continue on with ambiguity, letting her show an IOI or to. This way, she has the IDEA of you liking her in her head, and you didn't tell her yourself, so she doesn't have confirmation.

Let this be a lesson to you guys: ISOLATE FROM OTHER MEN. I write about this extensively. Whenever a super-elite comes around, they will be your rivals.

Ray Gordon
Bettor Off Single: Why Commitment Is A Bad Gamble For Men
http://www.toosmarttofail.com/bos.pdf
FREE!

 

[phatboi408]

If they are not living up to your standards as friends then drop them. But this seems like high school stuff. Talking about who likes who. Learn game period.

 

[jammy1257]

Ok well now it seems that I just have friends of convenience and not any real friends at all because that seems to be the case. I need to find me some real friends then.

 

[TheJazz]

He's obviously not worthy of your friendship. Dump him.

 

[Johnny_Kage]

Most friendships are not "good" friendships. You're lucky to have one or two genuine friends that look out for you IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE.

Also, just because this girl knows you like her doesn't mean that you lost her forever. If anything, the thought is planted in her mind now, so if you do the right things, she'll come to you.

Thank your friend for actually doing you a favor

 

[loveshogun]

I have told my friend before all this happened that I liked her and I trusted him not to tell or to make things awkward, but he stupidly said that I liked her infront of her and a few other people in my social circle. I thought it was only a matter of time before she figures it out so then I confessed and that is when she said I only think of you as a friend.

Wow. Just... wow. This is your problem? This is the thing that's bothering you? Your deep dark secret that your friend "betrayed" is that he told a girl that you like her, because you were too spineless to do so yourself?

Last time I defined something like that as a betrayal, I must have been 6 years old.

I'm sorry to say, bud, but your friend isn't the problem. You're the problem - that is, if your idea of betrayal is "told a girl I like her when I did."

Next thing you know, you'll be on the board complaining about how your friend betrayed you when he only paid 48 percent of the lunch check, when he was supposed to pay 50.

Go get a hobby, and do something productive, guy. You'll be better off for it, and you won't end up feeling hurt and "betrayed" by this nonsense.