"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Clingy girlfriend

sozzz

Don Juan
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we been gf/bf for a month now. since then, we've been chilling everyday together. sometimes i feel like saying no but then she give me that sad and piss off treatment.

well today, she call me from work asking if we can chill. i made up excuses and said i got stuff to do today and we will hang out tomorrow. she change to her sad voice n shiet.

i just wanna tell her i need me time, i feel like im being suffocated by spending too much time with her you know?

i know im doing the right thing, just wanna hear what others gotta say and maybe englightning me with some new things i should know/do. thx. :yes:
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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comic_relief

Master Don Juan
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Just tell her that you need some space, if she doesn't want to deal with it walk.

She will be mad, but she will either stay pissed (which will disqualify her) or she will accept it and accept that you are your own man (more likely).

Anyone agree with that advice?

comic_relief
 

Warrior74

Master Don Juan
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Stop being a ***** and let her be mad every now and then. You have caved in because of what? Fear? Fear that if you don't stay stuck under her ass 247 she will leave? Who cares if she gets mad. Hell my mom and dad have been married 37 years and my dad tells me, ya sometimes I make your mother mad, she gets over it. She agrees and says the same thing. Stop walking on eggshells for this woman. You don't have to be a complete kunt to her, just show your manhood and boundaries.

Oh and don't use those words....

i just wanna tell her i need me time, i feel like im being suffocated by spending too much time with her you know?
Just say, I'm busy..or I'm doing xyz and I'll call you later or we'll hang out tomorrow. Get casual about it.
 

Captain

Master Don Juan
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sozzz said:
we been gf/bf for a month now. since then, we've been chilling everyday together. sometimes i feel like saying no but then she give me that sad and piss off treatment.
That's her problem. Go off and do what you want, forget about what she wants or how she feels. It's your life, you're not here to make other people happy.

well today, she call me from work asking if we can chill. i made up excuses and said i got stuff to do today and we will hang out tomorrow. she change to her sad voice n shiet.
Don't feel like you have to appease her at all.

i just wanna tell her i need me time, i feel like im being suffocated by spending too much time with her you know?
Either tell her directly, or, even better, just do it. Spend less time with her, call her less, and meet some other women
 

Interceptor

Master Don Juan
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Her passive/aggressive reactions are dictating your life and your decisions.
You're going to have to nip that in the bud.
You can either talk to her directly and face the fallout from (God forbid!!!) disappointing her that you have other things to do other than spend every second with her, or you can be a bit more low key and schedule certain time frames where you will be attending to yourself and your hobbies , etc...
so you will just not really be 'available' and she may have to eventually realize how your daily personal schedule works. And if she truly is a cool chick and loves you , she WILL support you in pursuing your interests, passions, and hobbies. But be careful of overdoing it and then ignoring her.
Dont take her for granted.
That would be a huge mistake, and if she realizes youre doing that, she may be inclined to be unsupportive thereafter.
So try not to overdo it, and then exclude her from your life. What would be the point in being in an exclusive LTR with her if you dont make time and space for her?
After all, she wants to be with her Man, not with some dude down the street, she wants to be with you. Keep that in mind.


Dont allow yourself to feel responsible for her mishandling of normal and natural relatonship dynamics.
You need to have a life outside of your relationship.
If you dont, I can guarantee your relationship will become very dull and end quicker than it should. And then she may even resent you for spending ALL your time with her, and not bringing in any new energy into the relationship. And then what??

She needs to realize that, and she also needs to get some hobbies and have some sort of interest other than the attention you give her.

We are Men...not merely attention giving toys. We also have feelings, and needs, and interests too. And we deserve to have those things in our lives.
And it should NEVER be an either/or dynamic.

If she cant handle that, this is not your personal shortcoming.
There is a lack of maturity here, and as the Man, and as the one who isnt having his needs met, you're going to have to Assert your boundaries here.
You can do it more directly, or indirectly.
You know her best, so you will have to take on the responsibility of handling this circumstance in a cool, unreactive, and gentle kind of way. She IS your partner, so just be cool and emotionally balanced. I seriously doubt she will break up with you because you're bringing your concerns to her, and if she does then maybe it's for the best.
Finally, if there is something that can satisfy both partners is doing cool, fun new things TOGETHER as a couple. If you like camping, hiking, fishing, video games, martial arts, meditation, whatever, maybe you can invite her along. You may be surprised at just how cool her company may be with you in these kinds of activities. I would defiinitely suggest adding some together time doing certain activities like the above. So you have a blended experience and experiences on your own too. A balance of these is what makes us feel fulfilled and happy.

Good luck.
Be the Man with the plan.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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