Clever Lines

[fredjones]

In Hot Ice's post, the math teacher was making hte class copy down a number table and calling out numbers and he said Bingo and the class burst out laughing, what other good lines are there that you have used?

In my math class, which was dead silent the whole year, I mean no one ever talked EVER, seriously everyone just sat and stared, so half way through the year the teacher was going over prabales and drew two dots on the board to show where the lines would connect(sp) and asked the class what definition it was... and as usual no one answered then the teacher took the pointer and hit it against the two dots in the middle of the circles and asked again, and as usual no one answered so I said "Deffinition of dots" which I thought would just be stupid, but the whole class laughed as did the teacher.

What other good lines have you used?

 

[Boricua_33015]

Hahahaha!! Yo I seriously think everyone should post their good lines to make the whole class laugh. Just like they made a whole post for their favorite C&F lines.

Sometimes I do this.

When the teacher asks "does anybody know what a (counpound word) is?" Lets say this word was "Systems Analyst". I say "A person that analyzes systems!"

That usually gets the whole class and the teacher to laugh.

OOOH OOOH I KNOW ANOTHER ONE!!

Ive heard someone say this before. In the beginning of a class course when the teacher is reading the class rules, he came across a rule that says "Absolutely NO electronic devices". After the rule was read, I heard a guy say "hear that ladies? No vibrators!"

All girls started cracking up.

 

[Menime]

1 of mine was when the teacher was calling the register I wasnt listening and she said my name like 3 times and then all my mates were like pokin me n pointin to teacher n i said 'what?' to her n she said 'are you in ?' and i said a very sarcastic 'noooo' (well in wigan we say ney not no, so i said neeeeeey) and all the class was laughin

 

[AC/DC]

I just do random things to get people laughing...

One day, I wasn't paying attention in biology class, and I was staring at this chick in a skirt and dreaming of pleasant things... the teacher said something about holes, and then said "Sebastian, do YOU know?" I heard holes so I said "dolphins?" And the teacher starts laughing and laughs even harder at my detention.

During football practice, the coach says "Good job, anyone wanna say anything?" and I yell out either "CHOCOLATE" or "PANDA".

I'm the same way online too. Today a DJ IMed me saying:
Mcj493: Question....?
HangTen3000: DAMN STRAIGHT!!!!

Random? Yes. Funny? Yes. Stupid? Of course. But it's good fun

 

[DarkfalconIV]

here's my copyrighted one. When things are getting borring or If I want a girl to notice me. I'll just scream rape at the top of my lungs. This normally gets a laugh and a good convo starter to.

MY favorite insult ever. of mine

One of my friends had this huge family he had a kid in every grade level. His family is also not the best finnancially set off.

So one day hewas talking about his family or something. And i said

'Thats only cause your dads too poor to buy condoms'

Everyone laughed. HArdest dam laugh I've had from a crowd.

 

[Sammo]

The best ones are the ones that you come up with yourself on the spur of the moment, it is pretty hard to find a good canned one and even once you do it gets old, QUICK.

few of mine.

Teacher was marking roll, it was a relief teacher so they get the names wrong, and she called out Leif (she got it wrong and pronounced it leaf) and he was absent so i just yelled out "He's no here he fell out of a tree". Got the class laughing.

School assembly had to get an award, went up there and tripped over on stage on purpose. great one.

Another good one, lots of people in a school assembly and the teacher says on the mic "Any questions" and i ask a question "Can i please go to the toilet" in a funny voice.

A girl from queenbeyan ( a pov ass suburb ) go's up to get an award, and she's known for coming from queenbeyan and i just yell out " Do it for queenbeyan" In a funny voice.

This romanian chick asked my friend if he was having a good lunch when he was eating his sandwhich and i replied "Of course he is, It's Helga's" that got the class laughing.

 

[Captain Anonymous]

I used this one today, completely spur of the moment, but I get the feeling I may have thought of it before, and not said it.

Girl: "When should I come?" (talking to me, regarding plans to come to my house)
Me: "Oh, about 20 minutes after you arrive."

It's all in the deliverance, people can say the stupidest things and if the timing and deliverance is good, it can become extremely funny.

 

[Boricua_33015]

Today was a pretty good day for me.

I joked around a lot.

In my 3rd period.... my teacher who is fat as hell, but jokes about it and knows how to laugh at himself said "I am the dominoes KING!" I said "what?? you like to eat Dominoes Pizza?" and I had the whole class laughing.

In 5th period the whole class was serious right... and the teacher was asking "anybody else know about any holiday myths?" A couple people went and contributed to it. Then i decided to say something so I said "I know! Labor Day! When all women of the world give labor!" That one made everyone crack up including the teacher. The guy next to me was like "yoooo that was a good one, Id give you an A+ man, that was an A+!"

 

[DJoneday]

one teacher was talking about celebraties and quoted jennifer love hewitt "People don't come to my movies for my acting, they come to my movies to see my boobs" so i yelled "AMEN!"

There's many more, but none come to mind at the moment...

 

[dElAvA]

Ok guys Im just as funny and random as the next guy here and as halairious and funny yelling out things in class and joking all the time is it has to be rationed.

IM NOT SAYING QUIT BEING FUNNY

Its one of the best tools a DJ has but use it sparingly YOU DONT JUST WANT TO BE THE JOKER. You don't want to get nominated as class clown. One of the best ways to avoid this is do away with that nevous laugh if your one that has it theres nothing that makes a joke funnyer than if you can say it with an absoulutley straight face while everyone around you is cracking up keep a straight face then just smirk.