Clearing up a misconception

[MsThang]

Today a guy at work who I know has a crush on me bought me a CD of some music we were listening to. Don't get me wrong, I love the CD, but...

...it got me thinking. I've noticed that guys tend to shower me with gifts and praise when I'm not interested in them. Flattery and presents are wasted on me if I'm not interested in you, and instead of MAKING me interested, like men seem to think, it actually puts me off and creeps me out.

I'm sure a lot of you guys have experienced this; doing something nice for a girl and then having it blow-up in your face with the exact opposite of what you had hoped would happen. Then you go and say that "women don't like to be treated nicely" and you decide to be a jerk.

Here's where you went wrong.

They say that a woman can tell within the first couple minutes of meeting you whether or not she would ever date/sleep with you. I think to a large degree this is true. I'm sorry to say it, but that's just my opinion.

When a guy I am INTERESTED IN, however, does nice things for me it only reinforces what I feel for them. (Unless they're doormats of couse; nobody, male or female, likes a doormat.) Is it a bad idea to bring your LTR flowers? No. It is a bad idea to bring flowers on a first date? Most definitely.

Again men have this wrong. Many men get lazy with courtship when they are in a relationship, when in fact this is the time that they should be working the hardest because their efforts won't be wasted as they when you're trying to impress a girl who isn't interested.

Sorry this is so long, so...

Bottom line:

If she likes you, you won't need to impress her
If you need to impress her, she doesn't like you

 

[Starman]

Was this a post to brag about guys bying you gifts? because if it were me..Id probably smack you across the face with a raw pork chop..not buy you a CD

Yes its a psychological fact..if a person likes you and you do them nice things..they will like you more

if they dont like you and you do nice things..they will like you less

but there is a grey area in there somewhere..Ive heard too many stories of marriages where the girl would say "I was NEVER attracyed to him at first!! But he grew on me"

So BOOYAH! and go get everyone here a beer..you're wasting your sexuality

 

[spanky]

This is so clear and so easy to understand yet it will go over so many heads. Maybe if this one is kept bumped for a while it will sink in some.

but there is a grey area in there somewhere..Ive heard too many stories of marriages where the girl would say "I was NEVER attracyed to him at first!! But he grew on me"

You have a point, Star. I was just thinking about this the other day but it is such an exception to the way things usually happens that it should not be considered to a significant degree.

 

[Helter Skelter]

MSThang


What if a girl likes you, but has a boyfriend?

Do you try again with her at a later date?

How important is timing?

I know of few people who knew each other but didn't hook up until much later after their current relationships ended.

 

[ShortyBrown]

Originally posted by Helter Skelter
MSThang


What if a girl likes you, but has a boyfriend?

Do you try again with her at a later date?

How important is timing?

I know of few people who knew each other but didn't hook up until much later after their current relationships ended.

I realise that I am not the girl you're asking,but I'd try keeping things on a superficial basis, i.e "hi, how ya going?". Be a mainstay, someone who's presence she's expects in her life, but don't over do it.