"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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clamidia

A

aqua_man1

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i got clamidia... and i have a hot date this weekend how do i boink her without her noticing the end is all red and that? what do u think i should do its goin take 10 days before it heals

cheers
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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M

MushroomGod

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Do it in the dark, wear a rubber, but I would advise just to not have sex until its gone.
 
F

Faded Image

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The only thing worst than getting Chlamydia, is giving Chlamydia (Trust Me) I've been on both ends.

Once success takes off with women, these are the things that brings you right back down.
 
M

MacAvoy

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A DJ isn't a slave to the pvssy and would put his health before hitting up a piece for a mere 10 days. Maybe you should take this 10 days to ponder what got you in this position and be thankful that you didn't get a more serious STD.
 
I

iqqi

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If you have sex this weekend and give that girl clamydia, I shall curse you will something far worse. My curse effectively hangs over you starting right now, and will be hovering near you on your date, at all times. It will not leave you until you have reached a higher level of enlightenment, and you no longer need to ask the question you just did, because you will be a slightly more aware individual of simple moral matters... or their very ugly and uncurable repercussions! It is living and breathing right now, and it is very close to you as you read this. It has been near you since I typed this. I can no longer control it... only you can. In a way...

Have fun on your date...
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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K

KontrollerX

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If you really gotta hit it at least wear a condom dude but really you should just bite the fvckin bullet and miss out on a piece so you can heal first and not risk giving it to the chick.
 
penkitten

penkitten

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when you have an std such as chlamydia, you must not have sex while you are infected.
you must take all of your antibiotics within the ten days that you are supposed to and then go back to the dr to be checked to see if it is gone.

after the dr tells you that it is ok to have sex again, then you can worry about your penis being red, or white or blue or whatever color !

you should never spread an std to anyone in secret .
give your peter a break and get well dude.
 
TheVirtualMind

TheVirtualMind

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Very simple...

Don't have sex while you have the clap. Also, hook up with cleaner girls and/or protect yourself next time.
 
S

Sandow

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dont be a fvckin idiot, wait 10 days or until its cured
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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W

WC2

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Take this as a slap on the wrist. You could have gotten much worse. Take the 10 days off and improve yourself. Don't worry about women.
 
M

MooseGod

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I hope you've seen a doctor already... Some guy in my speech class gave a speech on his roommate's adventure with chlamydia (he heard him screaming when he took a piss)...doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun, but at least it's curable.
 
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