"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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circus freak line

joecollapoppa

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a circus freak (lady) i think approached me in the circus and said yo! id carmel your apple anyday and slide cotton candy on your candycane. I was like okayyy and walked away. what does that mean? u ever heard lines like that? should i be offended?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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TurboLover

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I'll play

I think she meant. If you brough her an apple, she would put carmel on it, regardless of what day of the week it is. Maybe even holidays. The cotton candy one is easy. It means she will bend you over and violate you. Then you will get scabbies or something of that nature.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Eternal

Master Don Juan
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Either you are a spammer, such with women, have one imagination, or should go gay...I'm still trying to figure out which one.
 

joecollapoppa

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yeah that is crazy im still shocked about it. i guess i should be offended. My girl was in the bathroom. Why should I go gay because of what someone says? or why should I be a spammer?
Or why does rgeere post so much about my subjects? thats all the questions I have for now.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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