Churches who ostracize singles of a certain age

[ThisNThat]

Didn't want to bring up religion too much, but I came across an article that was pretty interesting about how singles ministries are failing in America.

What was even more interesting where comments left by 40-something never marrieds, singles that have felt ostracized by the married people of the church community for BEING single...regardless of their efforts in finding a future spouse.

Some have relented on even hitting up night clubs/bars...and if that's not your thing, online dating or cold approaches. One claimed to have changed their "Seeking Christian men only" to "Will date an atheist to...any belief."

One mentioned if they even do have singles groups, they cater to the mid-20s, but anyone beyond that, churches expect you to be married.

It's like 30s and 40-something that are single are nobodies.

I have a female friend that was never married, no kids that was going to a grief counseling group (lost a loved one) only to have one of the "married" ladies make a slight in her direction about being that age and having never been married...implied that people at that age are just bangin' everything that's not tied down.

Anyhow, I know some here will say "Forget church", but it's kind of funny that that community is no different than going the way into the secular community to find a partner.

 

[Trainwreck]

Haven't been to a church in years, but they are all cultish in their own way.

 

[ThisNThat]

Haven't been to a church in years, but they are all cultish in their own way.

Yeah, and I believe these "cults" have driven some of the aforementioned away.

 

[RangerMIke]

Religious conservatives and radical feminism are two sides of the same coin. They expect men to sacrifice for women..... I'm no more surprised men are abandoning religion any more than men are turned off by feminism.

The only difference is that religious conservatives expect men to sacrifice because some magic sky dude says so.... Feminists expect men to sacrifice because we are supposedly evil. Both justifications are laughable.

 

[Dingo]

Some churches are better than others....

 

[Atom Smasher]

Churches are made up of people, and people will be people.

I've been single all my life, and have always noticed a chasm between myself as a single man and the majority married folks. The dynamic certainly does exist, but I think it's nothing more than the fact that married people can relate easily with their peers, but less so with singles. Chalk it up to human nature.

Should they reach out to singles and be more inclusive, especially as church people? Absolutely. They are not taught from the pulpit to do so, so they don't. It's yet another thing that drifts over their level of awareness.

 

[Tenacity]

Didn't want to bring up religion too much, but I came across an article that was pretty interesting about how singles ministries are failing in America.

What was even more interesting where comments left by 40-something never marrieds, singles that have felt ostracized by the married people of the church community for BEING single...regardless of their efforts in finding a future spouse.

Some have relented on even hitting up night clubs/bars...and if that's not your thing, online dating or cold approaches. One claimed to have changed their "Seeking Christian men only" to "Will date an atheist to...any belief."

One mentioned if they even do have singles groups, they cater to the mid-20s, but anyone beyond that, churches expect you to be married.

It's like 30s and 40-something that are single are nobodies.

I have a female friend that was never married, no kids that was going to a grief counseling group (lost a loved one) only to have one of the "married" ladies make a slight in her direction about being that age and having never been married...implied that people at that age are just bangin' everything that's not tied down.

Anyhow, I know some here will say "Forget church", but it's kind of funny that that community is no different than going the way into the secular community to find a partner.

Dude it's where a lot of this "get married" shyt comes from.......it comes from brainwashing of the church with some notion that in order to live your life "right/pure", you have to get married.

Then if the marriage turns to HELL, those same church people will usually encourage the woman (keyword, the woman) to get a divorce because quote, unquote "She must have heard wrong from the Lord".

I believe there's a God and a Higher Power.....but without a SHADOW OF A DOUBT, the church institution is nothing but a business and a scam. They are only there to increase their donations and implement their programming on the sheep in their audience, so they can continue to remain "faithful" to the church community, put donations in the bucket, and buy the Pastor's CDs/Books.

FVCK the Church.

 

[ThisNThat]

Dude it's where a lot of this "get married" shyt comes from.......it comes from brainwashing of the church with some notion that in order to live your life "right/pure", you have to get married.

The irony and the main complaint from middle-aged Christians is the fact even though ministers and pastors have complained, "More and more people are remaining single and NOT getting married" but yet, they aren't doing squat about helping those very people out. Some places have dissolved or disapproved singles ministries because it gives a "meat market" mentality, and in another breath someone would argue, "WEll, guess better meat them in a night club, grindin' up against some stranger instead of proper hellos?"

They cater to the already marrieds, even have classes/sermons on how to "spice up your sex life" or "working on your marriage."

 

[Atom Smasher]

The problem with church "singles groups" is that they are usually small in membership and the people in them become friends and basically "professional singles".

Everyone is relating to each other on that polite, restrained level and there is no room for mystery, excitement, boldness, etc.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Good let them all attack single men once our condition will be crappy enough we will finally make our own lobby.

 

[Serenity]

Puts shame on people for being single, doesn't help said people finding a partner. At least for those actually wanting a partner, this is evil. Religious community or not, this happens, but I'd imagine the pressure is significantly more intense among the religious. I don't know, I try keeping my mind far away from delusions.