chump2champ's boot camp log

[chump2champ]

I’m going through the boot camp, starting tomorrow (Sunday), and I’m gonna post my experiences on here daily. Unlike many of you, I’m a WBAFC – a 24-year-old virgin. So this is going to be challenging for me, and entertaining for you .

I’m posting a log on here as a commitment to myself – to make myself accountable, but if anyone has any tips or encouragement, please post!

So why am I still a WBAFC? Well, I could blame it on all kinds of things – my strict Catholic upbringing (I was taught that ‘kissing passionately’ was sinful), academic pressures, my bouts of clinical depression – but the truth is that I never really tried. And that’s what the boot camp’s about.

One more thing… the boot camp has only weekly goals, but I’m gonna set daily goals.

Week 1, Day 1’s challenge: eye contact for 1 hr, 10 hi’s to strangers including 3 hotties

 

[Trapper]

wish you good luck..

 

[KillaCam]

Good on you buddy, I wish you the best of luck.

Will be checking back to see how you're going.

 

[chump2champ]

Week 1, Day 1

Day 1 completed. 1 hr of eye contact, 14 total hi's, including 3 hi's to chicks I would date.

I've done the "hi" task some before, so it wasn't too bad today. My rate of hi's was poor -- I got these 14 over a period of several hours I spent in the city. They were all people I passed on the street.

I find that it's natural to say hi to someone if I'm passing them on an empty block (hell, it's unnatural and unfriendly NOT to). But when I'm walking through crowded streets, with 10 people behind me, and a stream of oncoming powerwalkers, it feels intrusive.

Easy hi's: slow-walking passerby's on empty blocks who you've made eye contact with already
Hard hi's: people walking fast, looking away (or straight ahead), talking on their cell phones, listening to ipods, in groups, on crowded streets

I got a mix of responses. Honestly, I've had better days. One small note -- a few times I said hi to people I passed too late for the person to respond -- it's much better to say it earlier.

The eye contact wasn't too bad. I got a mix of responses -- some didn't make eye contact, many made eye contact and quickly looked away, and a few made eye contact and held it.

Week 1, Day 2's challenge: 10 hi’s, including 4 girls I would date, and at least 2 non-walking hi's

 

[chump2champ]

Week 1, Day 2

I missed my goal for today, and proceeded to beat myself up about it for awhile. Real productive, I know.

I got 9 hi's including 1 hottie (off by 3) and 2 non-walking at the mall today. So my total is: 23 hi's (4 hotties). So I'm doing fine vs. the week's goal.

I find putting myself under lots of pressure and stress to meet women is counterproductive. In other areas of life, it can work wonders ("****! the test begins in 30 minutes!"). But with meeting women, it puts me in the wrong mood ("dammit! I only have 30 minutes left to have 3 more fun, flirtatious, and relaxed conversations with women!"). I dunno. Anyone out there have good ways of forcing yourself to take action without getting stressed out?

Week 1, Day 3's Challenge: 10 hi's

 

[chump2champ]

Week 1, Day 3

Today I was in the city again, and got 10 hi’s, including 3 girls I would date. So my totals are: 33 hi’s (7 cuties). One dude I said ‘hey’ to asked, “do I know you?”, but most people just smiled, said “hi” back, or kept walking.

Sometimes I got too focused on hi’s and missed good opportunities for socializing. Like there were heaps of coeds casually browsing through dorm posters for sale under a tent outside. But I wasn’t finished with my hi’s yet. Came back later and it was closed up for the day. Figures.

I have yet to do my first real cold approach. But don’t worry, I’ll do it soon, and it’ll be great, and I’ll be sure to post all the juicy details of my newfound supermodel stalker problems.

Week 1, Day 4’s challenge: 5 hi’s

 

[chump2champ]

Week 1, Days 4-7

I'm back! Wed - Fri were busy days, and all I counted was 2 hi's on Fri.

I got in some other good activities though: intros to Improv and Salsa, each a few hours long. Improv is a great skill for would-be don juans, especially the contemplative-types like me. Don’t think, act. Trust your instincts. And make **** up in front of an audience. Hell, I bet if I were meant to play a Casanova in an improv scene, I would discover all kinds of latent confidence and charm. Now if I can find them in real life…

Salsa was fun too, but most the chicks at the lesson were older. Which reminds me … as much as I like to think I can mask my true emotions, I think they’re pretty damn transparent. We were rotating partners at the Salsa lesson, and in one rotation, the cutie I just danced with moved on to the next fellow, and up waddled this tubby old walrus. I didn’t say anything, but my face must've told all: she asked me if I felt sick!

So anyway, that left me with 15 hi’s today (and 1 hr of eye contact). I got exactly 15 hi’s (including 1 hottie), and then instantly reverted to isolationism. (Dammit, I wish that weren’t true.) And yeah, after a few days off, it was harder to get going again. Gotta develop the HABIT of being sociable…

Week’s totals:
50 hi’s (including 8 hotties)
2+ hrs of eye contact

I wanted to do better (only 8?). I thought I would do better. But at least I passed. And that’s a helluva lot more hi’s than I said last week.

Up next: small talk with 10 strangers. And apparently it’s gotta be at least 2 mins long, so those “nice weather, eh?”-“yeah it’s great” exchanges won’t count. I’m gonna aim for at least 3 hotties. If I wanna be able to seduce these chicks, then by god, I should be able to talk to them for 2 minutes!

Week 2, Day 1’s challenge: 2 convos

 

[chump2champ]

Week 2, Day 1

I succeeded in getting my 2 convos (they were older women, both responsive, 2-4 minutes for each), but today wasn't good enough. Why? Because I really have nothing interesting to report. And if I'm REALLY pushing myself and trying new things, then I should have interesting new experiences every day -- experiences worth posting.

I read the boot camp materials for week 2, and frankly I was stunned by how much case analysis one can do for a conversation that simply involves saying “hi”, exchanging names, and asking “where are you from?”, “what do you do?”, and about college. They wrote up a whole goddamn algorithm (e.g. “then ask ‘Do you go to college?’ If yes then go directly to (2)…”).

Some of the material directly opposed suggestions of other dating gurus. At this point, I’ve read a lot of dating materials, from David D to “The Game” to some of Mystery’s VAH to plenty of free newsletters. Here are two major differences I noticed for these readings:

1) Ask “what do you do?”, “where are you from?”, “where did you go to school?” to start, in order to build rapport (boot camp)
vs.
-Every guy asks her those boring serious questions; instead talk about fun topics like entertainment, drama, scandal, and relationship issues (David D, others)

2) Get her to do most of the talking (boot camp)
vs.
-Be talkative, really. Talk your head off. Talkative guys just get laid so much more. (almost verbatim Mystery)

I’m convinced that it isn’t about negs, it isn’t about ****y and funny, it isn’t about demonstrations of higher value, it isn’t about openers. It’s all about learning:

1) How to confront fears and act before you feel ready, time after time
2) How to face failure and bounce back, time after time

Because those are the skills you need so that you get the PRACTICE you need to learn to succeed. That’s it. Without those skills, no one can learn this stuff. But with those skills, any guy who’s read the basics (“be the prize”, “don’t be needy or clingy”, “be playful and teasing, not stiff and formal”, etc.) and isn’t a total dumbass (i.e. can learn from mistakes) is gonna learn to succeed. Those 2 skills are certainly the root of my problems. God knows I don’t need another ebook!

Enough of this! I'm going to make something INTERESTING happen tomorrow, and I’ll write about it here.