Chuck Norris and Philosophy

[comic_relief]

Hey everyone,

I was taking a test and was filling it out.

One question said, "When was Hinduism created?" The answer is no one really knows, but I decided to be an ass.

My answer was, "No one really knows, but rumor has it that Chuck Norris created Judism, Hinduism, and was the true father of Jesus Christ and Mohammad."

My teacher wrote down a big X, but wrote down "I'll give you credit for the attempt. By the way, Chuck Norris counted to infinity... twice!"

comic_relief

 

[Aragon034]

lol i was nearly expelled for doing **** like that in high school.

Shoving me into the gifted program cuz the regular program was too easy and boring was NOT the right thing to do

When asked what we should do about bullying. I built a wheel of foturne-like device with my buddy.

When caught, both the bully and the person being bullied were to spin it and whatever it landed on, that was their punishment.

The kinds of things were...

1:Get breast implants.
2:Eat a muffin filled with viagra
3:Run naked through a prison shower... twice.
4:Bankruptcy
5:be the bad guy in a women's self-defence course without wearing a cup.
6:kick a snapping turtle 5 times.
7leasure School President during podium speech
8:Free spin
9:Box a kangaroo
and to top it off
10: Win a million dollars!



what else? oh i remember hosting "White Heritage Week" in January once. Parading around with some very amusing posters that said stuff like

"Celebrate the White Man's greatest Achievements! Such as Slavery! and the Abolishment of Slavery!"
and a picture of Uncle Sam on a pallet being carried by a black,red,yellow, and purple guy.

The idea was, if anybody called us rascist, we point to the purple guy and say "You obviously don't understand sarcasm."

Oh man, it's a miracle i got out of there alive.

 

[(JJ)]

what else? oh i remember hosting "White Heritage Week" in January once. Parading around with some very amusing posters that said stuff like

"Celebrate the White Man's greatest Achievements! Such as Slavery! and the Abolishment of Slavery!"
and a picture of Uncle Sam on a pallet being carried by a black,red,yellow, and purple guy.

The idea was, if anybody called us rascist, we point to the purple guy and say "You obviously don't understand sarcasm."

this is seriously the funniest thing i've ever seen on this forum. im gonna totally do that this year.

 

[Ricky]

That owns.

One time on a president quiz, we had to identify a president and then describe what happened to them after the end of their presidency. So for this one president I wrote "after failing to get re-elected as president, he quit his job and became a crackhead pimp". Teacher didn't put any comments but I got the question right.

I think you are thinking of Marion Barry the former mayor of DC. He was and probably still is a crackhead. Really.

 

[SuavePlaya]

When chuck norris does a pushup he pushes the world down....Those little jokes about chuck are funny. I wonder if he takes it personally or just takes them as a joke because they are about a million of them.

 

[Aragon034]

When chuck norris does a pushup he pushes the world down....Those little jokes about chuck are funny. I wonder if he takes it personally or just takes them as a joke because they are about a million of them.

He actually loves them. His favorite is

"When the boogyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

:crackup:

 

[comic_relief]

He actually loves them. His favorite is

"When the boogyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

:crackup:

Yes he does love them. If you look on:
http://chucknorrisfacts.com/

And scroll down to "Chuck's Favorites: Picked by the Man himself"

Those were Chuck's favorite and of course he loves them. They entirely rejuvenated his career outside of bowflex ads.

comic_relief

 

[speakeasy]

What started all these Chuck Norris jokes? Isn't he well past the prime of his career?

 

[SinJester]

For my recent physics test I didn't know the answers to some of the questions so I just wrote whatever came to mind and it sounded like the summary of a stargate episode or something.

"The proton accelerator exchange reverses the polarity of the field in order to cause magnetism squared (as explained in newtons 4th law) powering the laser rotational unit"

I don't think I would have got any marks for that in the projectile motion questions.

 

[Darth]

"Hey, I don't wear a watch/have my phone. I decide what time it is."

LOL

That'd be hilarious if you deliver it right

 

[j0n024]

For my recent physics test I didn't know the answers to some of the questions so I just wrote whatever came to mind and it sounded like the summary of a stargate episode or something.

"The proton accelerator exchange reverses the polarity of the field in order to cause magnetism squared (as explained in newtons 4th law) powering the laser rotational unit"

I don't think I would have got any marks for that in the projectile motion questions.

:yes: :yes: :yes:
I cant believe other people know about Stargate!!!!
But to correct you it's something Carter would say ....and thinking about it that DOES sound like something she would say lol.


On Topic: My favorite Norris fact's.

1. Chuck Norris had sex before his dad.

2. Chuck Norris is the ONLY person that can divide by zero.

 

[comic_relief]

Chuck Norris can make a hummer energy efficient by pissing in the gas tank.

comic_relief

 

[ChrizZ]

Chuck Norris once went to McDonalds, ordered a whopper...and he got one.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

 

[yungahdubz]

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird...