Im 21 years old, so basically i met this woman 2 years ago at a friend’s party, i asked for her number and we kept contact. Her name is Karen, she is 23.
We would talk every day or so, every night around 2 hours and then it increased to 5. After 2-3 months, we went on several dates. We had a lot in common and got along well. Fast-forwarding 3 months. We started talking from 5 to 10 hours at night. She studied theater, and i study medicine so i was lacking sleep every day because of this. We didn’t have a day where we didn’t talk, after those 3 months. I asked her to be my girlfriend, we had a real strong bond.
However, she said no, she said she didn’t want to have to leave her friends because of me (assuming a bad past relationship would give her this expectation) and basically didn’t want to have to chose between going out with them or me. I told her i understood her and that i would wait for her, that same night before we left we kissed, and i told her. "Did you change your mind?", She said, "i don’t know."
A month later, I did a second attempt with 40 red roses, and showed up at her doorstep and asked her to be my girlfriend. She took them, but had said no again and was very shy by the way since i had found her in pjs and all messed up and had said it wasn’t the right time to be here etc etc. So kissed her and went off, afterwards out of nowhere she started referring as me to her friends as her "boyfriend”. So i assumed we were in something more formal now. Anyhow, times goes by, we started going out to more ... not much sex honestly, so… fast-forwarding 2 years later.
Now 2 years into the relationship, a few months ago she was showing signs of being more distant, I used to go to her house at 7 AM to drive her to our 8 AM classes, and go to her classroom at 11:30.
To see her. Then at 2:30 id pick her up and drop her off at her house and head back to the university. She always showed me her phone, didn’t even have a password on it, showed it to me without me asking her to because there was usually something funny. We had a lot of friends in common so everything was pretty normal, she didnt show any indication of infidelity.
She started going out clubbing and I told her it was fine, just not to over do it. There were a few ocassions where she kept at parties, so i started to get pissed for her waking me up at 6 AM to go pick her up. So basically, that was the only red flag in the relationship. She started being less and less intimate, until I said out anniversary was coming up, she gave me the " we need to talk".
I knew we were going to break up . I tried confront her about it and she avoided me for 2 days, we finally talked. She made me remember the promise i had said to her at the beginning of the relationship, that id always be there for her because i cared for her as a person, independently if we were in a relationship or not.
Then she broke up with me.... i said no, i love myself enough to not allow this bs to keep being of use for her if we were nothing etc etc. We went out one last time that next day for closure, she arrived 30 minutes late. We sat and talked 3 hours and ended on good terms, hugged her at the end she denied fwb. Next monday, she kept pretending as if we never broke up, i didnt pick her up, she was late to classes, she didnt have a way of leaving the university because a friend dropped her off that day, so she came looking for me. I told her, look a bus passes by infront of the university, it must go somewhere, find out how to get home. I cut off her netflix,starbucks,spotify,lulu, everything that same day.
2 Weeks into the breakup.... she complains that i took everything away, that i dont even say hi anymore, that my friends wont say hi to her, i wont go to her house anymore,etc. I setup a date for tuesday, and she pushed it to friday. Friday comes, we were supposed to go on a double date, she stands me up and i had to call a female friend at the last minute.
Her reason for the breakup was
its been 9 months since these events. I learned the hard way, without SoSuave and messed up in every possible way.
Things i did wrong:
Things i did right:
The breakup has been the best thing that has happened to me, it set me free. I learned from this major fvck up. I have more women to talk to now and new goals to focus on myself.
We would talk every day or so, every night around 2 hours and then it increased to 5. After 2-3 months, we went on several dates. We had a lot in common and got along well. Fast-forwarding 3 months. We started talking from 5 to 10 hours at night. She studied theater, and i study medicine so i was lacking sleep every day because of this. We didn’t have a day where we didn’t talk, after those 3 months. I asked her to be my girlfriend, we had a real strong bond.
However, she said no, she said she didn’t want to have to leave her friends because of me (assuming a bad past relationship would give her this expectation) and basically didn’t want to have to chose between going out with them or me. I told her i understood her and that i would wait for her, that same night before we left we kissed, and i told her. "Did you change your mind?", She said, "i don’t know."
A month later, I did a second attempt with 40 red roses, and showed up at her doorstep and asked her to be my girlfriend. She took them, but had said no again and was very shy by the way since i had found her in pjs and all messed up and had said it wasn’t the right time to be here etc etc. So kissed her and went off, afterwards out of nowhere she started referring as me to her friends as her "boyfriend”. So i assumed we were in something more formal now. Anyhow, times goes by, we started going out to more ... not much sex honestly, so… fast-forwarding 2 years later.
Now 2 years into the relationship, a few months ago she was showing signs of being more distant, I used to go to her house at 7 AM to drive her to our 8 AM classes, and go to her classroom at 11:30.
To see her. Then at 2:30 id pick her up and drop her off at her house and head back to the university. She always showed me her phone, didn’t even have a password on it, showed it to me without me asking her to because there was usually something funny. We had a lot of friends in common so everything was pretty normal, she didnt show any indication of infidelity.
She started going out clubbing and I told her it was fine, just not to over do it. There were a few ocassions where she kept at parties, so i started to get pissed for her waking me up at 6 AM to go pick her up. So basically, that was the only red flag in the relationship. She started being less and less intimate, until I said out anniversary was coming up, she gave me the " we need to talk".
I knew we were going to break up . I tried confront her about it and she avoided me for 2 days, we finally talked. She made me remember the promise i had said to her at the beginning of the relationship, that id always be there for her because i cared for her as a person, independently if we were in a relationship or not.
Then she broke up with me.... i said no, i love myself enough to not allow this bs to keep being of use for her if we were nothing etc etc. We went out one last time that next day for closure, she arrived 30 minutes late. We sat and talked 3 hours and ended on good terms, hugged her at the end she denied fwb. Next monday, she kept pretending as if we never broke up, i didnt pick her up, she was late to classes, she didnt have a way of leaving the university because a friend dropped her off that day, so she came looking for me. I told her, look a bus passes by infront of the university, it must go somewhere, find out how to get home. I cut off her netflix,starbucks,spotify,lulu, everything that same day.
2 Weeks into the breakup.... she complains that i took everything away, that i dont even say hi anymore, that my friends wont say hi to her, i wont go to her house anymore,etc. I setup a date for tuesday, and she pushed it to friday. Friday comes, we were supposed to go on a double date, she stands me up and i had to call a female friend at the last minute.
Her reason for the breakup was
- I need time for myself, and i have a lot to live for.
- I dont want to see anyone else, but i want time for my own.
- I want to explore the world, but i want to do it alone or with the right person.
- I feel as if we arent compatible, and you never worked out the problems (which?)
- I lost attraction for you.
its been 9 months since these events. I learned the hard way, without SoSuave and messed up in every possible way.
Things i did wrong:
- Kept her on a pedestal after the breakup.
- Kept Low Contact after the breakup.
- Let her friends figure out what i was up to.
- Listened to her problems, even months later after the breakup.
- Tried to setup many dates, and insisted on seeing each other.
- Called her or messaged her i missed her like 4-7 times during the last 9 months.
- Turned from beta to omega during the relationship.
- Allowed to get more sex from friends than her, my conclusion she is asexual.
Things i did right:
- Deleted her off social media.
- Took away all the perks.
- Stopped giving a fvck.
- No holiday messages.
The breakup has been the best thing that has happened to me, it set me free. I learned from this major fvck up. I have more women to talk to now and new goals to focus on myself.
