Chrom3y's need for change. (Journal)

[Chrom3y]

First a little info about myself.
To keep my anonymity I'll use part of my middle name, I'm Ty.
Senior in HS, somewhat small school...500 kids? I'm a very laid back guy, but I really think I confuse my calmness with shyness lol. Brown skinned with green eyes, the chicks wet themselves over the eyes . Honestly one of the best lookin guys in the entire school, and yet I still lack confidence. I've read that my confidence should not stem from my looks, and I agree 100%.

So basically, I lack friends and a life. I mean I do sports all year round, but I still fail to connect with people outside of school. Maybe I should open up more?
I mainly hang out with 2 people, and although I love their company, they are both super AFC.

My goal is to be a much more social person by the end of the school year, even if I don't make any best friends or have any crazy experiences this year, I still need to get out there and live life more and gain that confidence.

Fun fact: I failed the bootcamp twice in 2 weeks lmao. Fail...

I'm doing this for me, so who ever reads this please feel free to give advice about my social insecurities and game with girls.

To sageproduct: keep it up man, seems to me your great socially and you'll be macking chicks left and right once you hit college. And I'm willing to bet you'll get the kiss by x-mas. Btw, I also play tennis. 3rd single . How about you? And are you a one or two hand backhand? No matter what I try I'm inconsistent with both, it's tough.

 

[Chrom3y]

Monday is good for once.

Started the day off like any other. Showered, got dressed etc. The bus in the morning sucks, everyone is quiet and seems to be in a bad mood, including me since I'm so tired at the time. Maybe I should start talking to heighten my mood, there is one cute asian chick at my stop, she was feelin me at one point but I let it die down because I'm such a frickin douche/afc.

Skip straight to Physics

One of my best classes of the today. Had pretty good laughs with my lab partner, and I actually did something I rarely do, I talked to a chick I didn't know. I can't remember what talked about but i had her laughin and gigglin, I did this because my friend, lets call him Ant, is a douche and I wanted to take her attention away from him. Douche move? And I also kinda sorta flirted with some chick I used to be deathly afraid to talk to sophomore year lol.
I barely remember the convo. Her name's Brittany...

Brittany: (walking around class with a typed message on a calculator)
She finally got in front of me
Brittany: No not you
Methinking wtf?) Oh damn it's like that? Ok your loss..
Her: Okay look! (It said "can I have a dollar?")
Me: Oh wow is that all? See I probly would have helped you out, but since you were so rude no dolla for you. (I held strong eye contact the whole time ans smiled)
Her: Nooo pls! I need it for lunch.
Me: Now you learned your lesson, don't make the same mistake twice.
Her: (She just smiled and eye-phucked me for like 5 seconds. She walked away with a smirk on her face.)

She sometimes gives me looks, and I've never really talked to her before last friday, I'm not sure what to do with her.

Bell rings...next Period.

Psychology

I love what this class teaches, but it sucks ass for me. I really need to talk to more people, but I'm so self conscious in there. Whatever...

Sharon: She looks okay, 6.5-7, on the thick side. She likes me...a lot. No exaggeration, she asked me to prom already haha. I'll keep her as my back up plan. Oh and she's got a nice booty

Prep Period

My mood is at its highest of the day. Straight to the chicks.

Janiya...looks okay, huge boobs, body could be better. Makes talking easy cuz she does so much of it. She says so much that it makes it easy to make flirtatious comments, and sexual innuendos. Flirted with her all period, she wants my d!ck haha, I'll try for the number tomorrow I guess.

Mary...solid 7, white chick, blond, a bit short. Asked her to refer me to her job so I can maybe get employed. Flirted with her a bit, strong eye contact, body language etc.

Eventually...

Mary Comes over and rubs my head all over) Hey Ty!
Me: Yo mary whats up. (Weak, I know)
Her: blah blah blah her day i dont care.
And then out of now where...
Her: Oh my god Ty he wont call me!
Me: I'm guessing this is your bf?
Her: Yea, he's probly out phucking some other broad.
Me: Maybe you should phuck other guys.
Her: Yea, I should haha
Me: (While eye phucking her+Smiling) Well just hit me up and we'll get him back.
Her: (Laughing and putting her hands all over me) Haha yea I'll be sure to do that!

Bell rang...

Don't feel typing out the calculus events. Good class tho.

But while I was coming out of the guidance office...

Angela (chick I've been fantasizing about since last year) comes walking I guess perpendicular to my direction to be specific. She happens to decide to play my favorite game, the eye contact dance lol.

She's walking across and is just eye raping the sh!t outta me. But thanks to Sosuave I like to think of eye contact as a game. Whoever breaks it first loses. And I'm a big sore loser haha. She's just lookin and lookin until she finally loses ha! She then smiles and says something but I cant hear her cuz the hallway is too loud. So I went on with my business and went to calc.

Nothing exctiing with XC happened today, so I won't go into detail of it. Tomorrow I plan to approach at least one chick at my meet. I've approaches like once before so I'm eager to see how this goes.

Wow that was a lot of typing for me. Well thats the end of day 1. Looking to get better as the weeks go by.

 

[sageproduct]

Yo nice post. I've been playing tennis all my life and way too much(part of the reason I was such a social outcast), 1st singles.

And thanks for the predictions haha I don't really have time today to read your post in-depth but hopefully later.

 

[jeffthechef]

honestly, i'm not a big fan of field reports...not saying they don't work though

i've said this before...like buddhists on their path to enlightenment..they need to know there is a path and how to get there...the rest is up to them...you can't teach enlightenment..

same goes with ss

no one can teach you how to be what you want...but they can tell you how to get there...and i feel as though fr's are too analytical but i'll give you my advice with your first two posts

________feel free to ask questions

yup youre right..confidence shouldn't come solely from looks...looks can be a supplement..but even then you have to have a strong control over your ego, or simply be egoless..the ego is one of your biggest enemies..because it keeps you chained to reality, society's reality

i used to be the same..wouldn't feel good at school until about 12 to 1ish..but now i feel good once i get to school..what changed is me taking a shower in the morning..which you do already..and i dance/sing to music while i get ready to go...my friends think it's weird...but it works and you can't listen to others, especially when you know the truth
so find something that gets you feeling good earlier

as for the girl you dont know what to do about...get her number..take her out..kino escalate and have fun...it's that simple..when you overthink things you fail...

like sports players..some don't think at all before they make a big play..it's instinct...but let's say baseball, a batter on deck...he definitely has time to "think"...or golf too...they might htink about how it plays it in their mind...ONCE..or MAYBE twice...and it's a positive run through...that's all you do...and then you ****ing do it...

as for mistaking being calm for being shy..you're probably right
i used to feel the same..i knew i was being shy cause i constantly thought "i look calm, i'm sure others think i'm calm...bla bla" the thing was, i kept telling myself i was calm..wehn i look back now, i know it was really mere insecurity.

just number close all the girls yhou're interested in

 

[Chrom3y]

Haven't posted all week due to school work and cross country. I'm always exhausted. I've been doing a lot better as far as being more social goes though. Even made a new friend today who gave me good info.

Anyway, one chick I didn't mention was a girl named Pamela. Now me and her have been messing around for maybe a month-month 1/2 now. We make out, grab ass etc. On friday I was makin out with her in after school near the locker room. When we walked out and down the hall her friend Angela (mentioned above) saw us walking together, so they stopped and talked (obviously about me) and I walked off to go work out. So my chances with angela are now potentially screwed lol, oh well.

But this chick pamela I dont wanna get attached to. I don't trust her, my two friends said she has a bad rep too so that makes it worse. She constantly has guys trying to get at her, and she's a huge flirt. But my main problem is I think she's playin head games with me. Even though my friend said she asked about me at the homecoming game (I couldn't make it), I texted her and she never texted back. So I dont see why she would ignore me. Then I texted her again today to try and set somethin up and still no text back. I'm confused, because in school she's all over me but now I'm being ignored? Unless her phone just happened to screw up which I doubt.

And about that new friend I said I made, he said he sees her flirting with many guys too. And one she kissed on the cheek. I know its not anything big but still...why mess with 2 dudes?

My friend says maybe she was just busy but idk, doesnt make sense to me. I'm thinking I need to just be more aggressive and get something from her before it's too late and she winds up moving on to another guy.

Any thoughts?

 

[Chrom3y]

...no thoughts?

 

[BongDuy]

Here are my two cents. Keep in mind im not perfect and i'm no Guru.

Anyway, one chick I didn't mention was a girl named Pamela. Now me and her have been messing around for maybe a month-month 1/2 now. We make out, grab ass etc.
Why don't you keep trying to escalate and get the full monty from this girl?

But this chick pamela I dont wanna get attached to. I don't trust her, my two friends said she has a bad rep too so that makes it worse. She constantly has guys trying to get at her, and she's a huge flirt.

She's making out with you, so thats a good sign. You don't have to make her your girlfriend, If you escalate and it turns out well, you may just have a fvck buddy

But my main problem is I think she's playin head games with me. Even though my friend said she asked about me at the homecoming game (I couldn't make it), I texted her and she never texted back. So I dont see why she would ignore me. Then I texted her again today to try and set somethin up and still no text back. I'm confused, because in school she's all over me but now I'm being ignored? Unless her phone just happened to screw up which I doubt.

Talk to her in person and arrange a day to see each other outside of school to hang out
And about that new friend I said I made, he said he sees her flirting with many guys too. And one she kissed on the cheek. I know its not anything big but still...why mess with 2 dudes?

Kissing on the cheek is nothing. trust me, its mostly just a friendly greeting most girls do. This is especially true if shes spanish

 

[Chrom3y]

Lmao man you're right she is spanish! I guess I feel a little better now? Someimtes I feel like I'm becoming dependant on this chick. But I guess I'll see whats up Monday.. take control. Thanks a lot Duy