Christian girlfriends... a few questions..

[clarinch]

Im nearly 20, she's nearly 17. We've been together 6 months, and thusfar our relaitonship has followed the DJB to a T, from attraction, to dating, and even falling in love.

This is, in all respects, some real down to wuss beatching on my part. She is very Christian. Not so Christian that you could label her a Puritan, but - morally, you should have a good idea of what i'm speaking of.

After 6 months of dating, she finally threw out that classic line 'We need to stop the physcial stuff until I'm ready.'

This forum really throws out the image of every girl wanting sex instantly - but guys not beign able to present themselves worthy of their bodies. Which, in many cases might be true. I don't know - those types never intersted me. Don't get me wrong. My lady asked me out, and kissed me first. So the attraction is definately there.

The problem, as it would be, is how to handle her (I don't want to say insecurities, but lack of a mental thesarus leaves me with that.) with arousal in general. She becomes very VERY uncomfortable with being aroused. She has the idea (which may be true - i'm not sure hence this post) that by being a good Christian, and only 16, that feelings of arousal are bad.

At 6 months, this very night, not but an hour ago, she (in a very severe state of being half awake) allowed me to see her breasts, and afterwards hates herself for it. Therefore, she has cancelled all sexual touching until further notice.

The part that might be throwing me off, is that I'm fine with it. I'm 19, i've done all there is to do, with the exeption of intercourse, in the past. I can wait, no big deal. She's worth it.

I am just very curious to all those outhere upon how to console, ignore, or persuade away her into not being distraugt...


I'm very afraid there is little information I could find in the Bible about this type of woman. All it could say would be to next her, but i've already got her...

 

[gravstar]

I know how you feel mate, my lady is a bit like this. All worried about the whole "what if this happens" stuff. Personally I think these types of angles have been brought up to think that if they get physical that they will be labelled a sl*t.

I think the only way to break down this insanely big fortress built of steel and rock is to get them to trust you enough. You have to be that trusted that they will give you the key to their whole fun park.

 

[MetalFortress]

This is how it's probably going to go: she'll stick to it for awhile, then she'll seem open to it again. Or, you'll slowly go in again and she will at first accept the touching. Then, she will feel guilty about it and stop it again.

Then, eventually, maybe even very soon, she will break up with you, because she feels she will eventually end up going too far with you. In this instance, how much she trusts _you_ doesn't matter, because she will still regret anything sexual she does later.

Same exact deal happened in my last relationship as well. We both got carried away, and she ended it, because she felt that if we couldn't stop going to far, we would eventually end up crossing some real boundaries.

You can't really know her mindset on this unless you are a Christian yourself, and I am one. It has nothing to do with other people thinking she's a slut - it has to do with her feeling guilty before God for going too far.

 

[JSH]

Why are you dating this girl?

Do you want to get married? I doubt it.

Do you want to have sex with her? Yes, otherwise you wouldnt be frustrated over this.

Why are you still with your current girlfriend?
-if her personality is that great, make her a friend rather than a gf.