"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Choose: Oneitis that now likes you, or new girl that adores you?

the_govner

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A. The long time oneitis I'm still weak for - she rejected me mostly because I was the typical AFC when I was going for her, great girl and amazingly hot! But she gave me the ultimate cold shoulder when I "confessed my love to her" hahahh. Like I said, AFC. She likes me now.

B. Girl that adores me - We've gone on about 4 dates, she does everything I say, goes wherever I say we go go, but not in the low self-esteem kind of way. Not as hot as the oneitis, cute and sexy nonetheless.

Obviously I have girl A on a pedestal, not sure if my ego just wants her. And I don't know whether I'm 2nd guessing B because it's too easy! (although b hasn't given me any yet, she wants to take it slow but she's massively into me)
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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st_99

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Dont go backwards. Always move forward in life. B.
 

PDubb75

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B.

Chances are, getting with girl A you admit you are pedestaling (yes, I know that is not a word) will make you revert back to some AFC ways. She had her chance and rejected you. Show higher value by moving to the next girl. If you get with her now, it looks as if you were just waiting around for her this whole time. She will feel in control of the relationship from the start.

With that being said, you don't sound too sold on girl B. Don't get with her just because she is there. Do it if you actually like her. Either way, keep spinning plates to help you find a girl good enough that you don't need to as the forum if you should get with her.
 

tafakna

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the_govner said:
A. The long time oneitis I'm still weak for - she rejected me mostly because I was the typical AFC when I was going for her, great girl and amazingly hot! But she gave me the ultimate cold shoulder when I "confessed my love to her" hahahh. Like I said, AFC. She likes me now.

B. Girl that adores me - We've gone on about 4 dates, she does everything I say, goes wherever I say we go go, but not in the low self-esteem kind of way. Not as hot as the oneitis, cute and sexy nonetheless.
The B girl sounds like just the AFC type you were when going out with A. It doesn't help you much but it's just so you know how unappealing is to have someone that puts you on a pedestal.

You will get tired of her in the near future if you really moved away from being AFC.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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bigneil

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Ironically, it seems that getting Oneitis attracts other women because you don't care about them.

And I'm going with B because she hasn't crossed you yet. Don't be like A was to you. A will only dump you again because she is settling for you and you are settling for her (now that she has crossed you).

It is an amazing learning experience, as tafakna noted, to reverse roles.
 

Strelok

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Go for B but before it spend a night with A to feed your ego, this way you would enjoy more the relation with B with no baggage.

And who cares about A anyway maybe if you take her down a little she will be less fast to reject the average guy after you, he will probably screw up anyway but at least he will get a chance.
 

backbreaker

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neither are actually a good option for seperate reasons but given the choice, option A would be the better of the two.

The option B girl is the type of girl that is what you would classify as a classic "freak". she gets off on falling in and out of love, she loves the newness of each relationship. Anytime i meet a girl and she's just a little bit too enthusiastic i am on guard. I think i am a catch but i am not silly.

At least with option A, you pretty much know where you stand with her seriously. Option B in 3-4 months will be looking for that chemical rush all over again wth someone else.
 

Victory Unlimited

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the_govner said:
A. The long time oneitis I'm still weak for - she rejected me mostly because I was the typical AFC when I was going for her, great girl and amazingly hot! But she gave me the ultimate cold shoulder when I "confessed my love to her" hahahh. Like I said, AFC. She likes me now.

B. Girl that adores me - We've gone on about 4 dates, she does everything I say, goes wherever I say we go go, but not in the low self-esteem kind of way. Not as hot as the oneitis, cute and sexy nonetheless.

Obviously I have girl A on a pedestal, not sure if my ego just wants her. And I don't know whether I'm 2nd guessing B because it's too easy! (although b hasn't given me any yet, she wants to take it slow but she's massively into me)
Let's cut the crap and keep it real here. The only reason this thread exists is because your level of enthusiasm is TOO HIGH for the first girl and TOO LOW for the second.

The way you're heading, soldier-------you will wind up getting your ass handed to you whenever the first girl dumps YOU or you will wind up "being" an ass when you dump the second girl.

Why?

Because this statement about the "2nd girl" that I've paraphrased from your original post says it all: "she's NOT AS HOT as the first girl."

In a perfect scenario, you'd do yourself and the 2nd girl a favor by penciling in another option-----OPTION C.

Option C is - Find a brand new girl that makes your socks roll up and down AT LEAST as much as that first chick you mentioned does.


V.U.
 
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