"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Choose a Woman WHO Chooses YOU

resilient

Master Don Juan
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Have you ever dealt with the dreaded oneitis in where you want to be with a woman but she doesn't want to be with you?

You must learn to speak to your friends about her or her friends about you indirectly.

Ask them if they think the woman really does want to be with you, or if she really doesn't.

If your friends honestly tell you that the woman doesn't want to be with you, then your finished. You cannot enjoy a relationship with her, even if she changes her mind.

Once she feels your neediness, once she feels that you need her more than she needs you, she will never trust you to be a man.

Or worse yet, she'll accept you for a while but then emasculate your AFC self; by begining to manipulate you into doing things for her until she gets bored of controling you.

To follow your role as a man she needs to see three things from you first to demonstrate higher value:
  • MISSION
  • PURPOSE
  • DIRECTION in life.
    [/list=a] The priority of the woman is the flow of love in intimacy.

    If a woman feels your feminine is stronger than hers - if she feels the intimacy is more important to you than to her - then she will naturally animate her masculine. She will want space, she will want freedom to pursue her own direction, and she will be repeled by your clinginess.

    If she senses that your happiness depends on her to fullfill your "purpose" then she'll abandon you. This is typically when she replaces you the MrNiceGuy with the Jerk who knows what he wants and has been busting her balls to dump you and go out on fun dates with him.

    You are only punishing yourself when you want to be in a relationship with a woman more than she wants to be in a relationship with you.

    Of course, you must judge her interest level carefully between whether she is playing "hard to get" or whether she is truely less interested in the relationship with you.

    It is better to NEXT her and work on your inner game than it is to continue demonstrating that your feminine desire is stronger than hers. Remember that you are the prize that she should be fighting over; not placing on her pedestal.

    The most ironic dealing of "the game" is that you have to act like you don't need the woman to actually get the woman. The woman thinks she won you over when you were secretly desiring her all along!

    So get your life in order before chasing women, then pretty soon they'll be the ones hunting you down like wolves in heat.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Francisco d'Anconia

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I thought that if you were choosy you'd choose Jif?
 

( . )( . )

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Originally posted by resilient

You must learn to speak to your friends about her or her friends about you indirectly.

Ask them if they think the woman really does want to be with you, or if she really doesn't.
:down: That shouldnt be your reality, not to mention its extremely weak to have such low belief in yourself and abilities that you take on board someone elses opinions.

Besides I couldnt think of anything more degrading and below me than asking a chicks friends whether the b!tch is into me or not, of course she is.

The rest of your post was no brainer stuff thats been covered countless times.

No offense but I dont really rate this that much. 1 and a half points + half a point for at least trying and not totally fvcking it up and having some semblance of a clue.

2 stars.

I look forward to reading your improved stuff.
 

hopeful loner

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Can we please cite our sources?

Anyway, the initial post is derived from David Deida's Way of the Superior Man, a very interesting self-help book that actually IS a must read for the AFC. :)
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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resilient

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Yeah, I apologize... some thoughts came from David's book. Excellent book indeed. One of the chapters inspired me to write about it in detail because I realized that my last ex left me because I was trying too hard to cultivate a relationship when she didn't really want one to begin with. She gave me the excuse of going to "find herself" because she didn't want to bruise my ego, but it did anyway after I discovered this site and the book. Learning the things I did wrong as an AFC then. Well.. lesson learned!
 
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