Some of my favorite and most inspiring posts on this site are the ones that try to make us think about more than simply becoming better with women, but with becoming better men, overcoming the mental barriers that have held us back, and generally being happier and more successful in our lives. In essence, being the person we want to be. Listening to people share their tales of triumph, and also noticing the culture of guys genuinely wanting to help other guys with real problems is what attratced me the most to this forum.
I had something happen to me recently, and i thought i would share it here (my first post) with you. It would be great to hear your opinions.
So, i'm sitting at my local pub after a long shift at work. Im tired, and i just want to get something to eat, have some beers, and go home, to bed. While Im sipping my first, waiting for my food to arrive, some guy who was playing pool stumbles over to my table (im sitting alone, not a big Don Juan yet haha) and asks me where all my girlfriends are. I just want him to go away and let me eat and drink in peace so i said something like "oh they were all busy" or something lame like that. So, at this point, he continues into a drunken monologue about how i need to "call them bit*hes up" and say"hey bit*hes get over here!" I kind of fake chuckled a bit (you know how it is when drunk people try to talk to you when youre sober). Now, my waitress is standing behind me and says something along the lines of "i dont think that would work", which sort of sends the guy into a rant about it was none of her business, he didnt ask her, blah blah, loud and drunk. Now im starting to get annoyed. My lunch is turning into a drama i didnt want. He goes away.
comes back.
goes away.
comes back..
everytime more and more in my face, ranting about not needing the opinions of some bit*h. Im not sure what he wanted me to say. Eventually he left the bar...
On my walk home, i started thinking. This guy has put me in a foul mood. Probably ruined the waitresses night. And was just being an all out as*hole. And no one did anything. The guys at the table beside me, the guys at the table behind me, and the most pathetic of all, myself. Every John Wayne and Clint Eastwood moment flashed through my mind. Would the Duke put up with that? Or is that just hollywood glory, not akin to real life? I wanted to go back there and do it all over again, but of course it was too late. And in reality, i probably would have just done nothing again. Is this OK? All political correctness and law-abiding ideas aside, is this the "right" thing to do? We often hear comments like "it isnt worth it man" or "hes not worth getting barred for" or other stuff like this. This seems like a bunch of excuses to be a wimp to me now. Right then, it sure seemed like it would have been worth it.
I felt ashamed. Still do. Has anyone ever had this type of thing happen to them? What did you do? How do i overcome this....whatever it is.....fear of conflict or something that i've somehow been programmed with. Im not a big guy by any means, i would probably lose most fights, but damn...it would be better than not doing anything...
maybe this post doesnt even belong here....
thoughts?
Jakes
I had something happen to me recently, and i thought i would share it here (my first post) with you. It would be great to hear your opinions.
So, i'm sitting at my local pub after a long shift at work. Im tired, and i just want to get something to eat, have some beers, and go home, to bed. While Im sipping my first, waiting for my food to arrive, some guy who was playing pool stumbles over to my table (im sitting alone, not a big Don Juan yet haha) and asks me where all my girlfriends are. I just want him to go away and let me eat and drink in peace so i said something like "oh they were all busy" or something lame like that. So, at this point, he continues into a drunken monologue about how i need to "call them bit*hes up" and say"hey bit*hes get over here!" I kind of fake chuckled a bit (you know how it is when drunk people try to talk to you when youre sober). Now, my waitress is standing behind me and says something along the lines of "i dont think that would work", which sort of sends the guy into a rant about it was none of her business, he didnt ask her, blah blah, loud and drunk. Now im starting to get annoyed. My lunch is turning into a drama i didnt want. He goes away.
comes back.
goes away.
comes back..
everytime more and more in my face, ranting about not needing the opinions of some bit*h. Im not sure what he wanted me to say. Eventually he left the bar...
On my walk home, i started thinking. This guy has put me in a foul mood. Probably ruined the waitresses night. And was just being an all out as*hole. And no one did anything. The guys at the table beside me, the guys at the table behind me, and the most pathetic of all, myself. Every John Wayne and Clint Eastwood moment flashed through my mind. Would the Duke put up with that? Or is that just hollywood glory, not akin to real life? I wanted to go back there and do it all over again, but of course it was too late. And in reality, i probably would have just done nothing again. Is this OK? All political correctness and law-abiding ideas aside, is this the "right" thing to do? We often hear comments like "it isnt worth it man" or "hes not worth getting barred for" or other stuff like this. This seems like a bunch of excuses to be a wimp to me now. Right then, it sure seemed like it would have been worth it.
I felt ashamed. Still do. Has anyone ever had this type of thing happen to them? What did you do? How do i overcome this....whatever it is.....fear of conflict or something that i've somehow been programmed with. Im not a big guy by any means, i would probably lose most fights, but damn...it would be better than not doing anything...
maybe this post doesnt even belong here....
thoughts?
Jakes