"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Chip on my shoulder / inherent issue?

H

Heretolearn

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I hope this posts reads to be about me overall. The catalyst has been that the last girl I saw said 'I had a chip on my shoulder'.

That has bounced in my head a LONG time. I have reflected and yeah, I think she is right. My dad left when I was a 7, my brother and I were poor although spoilt for love and attention.

That said, could not have wished for a better childhood. Seriously lived a dream. Not perfect sure, yet you roll with the punches. I have done that through my life then working my butt off to study (paying for myself working jobs on the side) then working professionally, now have a great job that is also paying for me to complete my mba. I live well below my means for a better future. And yes, I have a chip on my shoulder as I see trust fund kids living it up the entire time with their inheritance parachute whilst i work my butt off.

Yes I choose not to go to some awesome events/catch up with friends because I am working/studying/exercising or tired from the week.

I really understand the risk and price I pay for 'success' in the many friends I have grown away from and the many opportunities with women that I have passed over.

Any comments/wisdom? What do I do about this? I wonder if it holds me back or if it something where I just accept who I am?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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betheman

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Doesnt sound like a chip on your shoulder, have you ever considered your ex was full of sh!t and making excuses?
 
H

Heretolearn

Master Don Juan
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betheman said:
Doesnt sound like a chip on your shoulder, have you ever considered your ex was full of sh!t and making excuses?
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Yeah, I was wondering how many guys on here actually took feedback versus dismissed it from an ex.

I doubt this girl had special powers to know what was going on and doubt even more that she or anyone really knows what is good or bad.

I think about it though from that perspective but also the objective 'does a chip on your shoulder hurt/help drive for success'?

Eg. I am very wary about supporting my family and I financially because I have been there once in this lifetime. In a sense that drives me forward. In another it may make me more risk adverse than a high flying entrepreneur who will make a calculated risk and bet everything.

Make sense?

I see comparisons with business/women behaviour in terms of risk taking/return on investment/multiple options etc. Is that a negative frame/paradigm?
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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