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Chicks that don’t text

Barrister

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UPDATE: So I took @EyeBRollin advice and texted her to meet at 7:30 on Tuesday so there are no loose ends. She immediately responded and said that "that sounds great and I can't wait". I guess she was waiting on me to text. Oh well.
 

deadmasterx

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I escalated the entire time and we made out at the bar a bit. She told me she wasn’t ready to go home yet and wouldn’t mind going somewhere else (bar closed fairly early due to Covid restrictions).
It's great that you have the balls to do that, but I have the feeling that you did "too much". The best option, especially on first dates, it to kiss, tease, back up. Eventually, she's gonna come closer, be way more inviting, even starting kissing you too. The idea is give her a bit, back off, watch her coming to you. Remember, a girl that's chasing you can't dump you.

We drove to a nearby casino where we made out in the parking lot in my car and did some heavy “petting.” I told her we could just stay at the hotel with a grin and she smiled and said “she doesn’t do that on 1st dates.”
For me it sounds like a test. But, once again, if you kept on doing it and backing off a bit, she'd be so wet that she wouldn't be testing you this way probably. She felt you pursuing a bit more, giving youself a bit too much, tested, and apparently you failed on it. It's not that you should have ignored and just got inside her house, but just look to her eyes, give her a smile and then kiss a little bit more on her neck, slowly, and then back off with the kisses, maybe just feeling her scent on her neck, not touching too much.

She said she would like to see me again - and normally I wouldn’t ask out again on the date but this seemed like a pretty good opening so I asked her what she was doing Tuesday and she agreed to meet me near my apartment.
It's great that she did, but when you set up another date while you're still in a date it sounds like neediness. It sounds like "I got nothing else going on in my life, so my schedule is completely open for you". Whenever it happens, it's better to give a "Yeah, we can make it happen" kind of answet, that isn't you setting a date, but letting her know that you like the idea.

My experience usually is chicks who had a great 1st date typically reach out the next
Day with some texting. If she doesn’t reach out bad sign? I’m not going to text her at all today and see what happens.
Yes, it can happen. But also, since you failed some of her tests, she may be testing you to see if you're not going to approach her first. Let it be for a week (if she doesn't reach out to you in this meantime). If one week passes and you don't hear from her, go talk to her, don't talk for more than 15, and set up another date.

Don't focus too much on your cellphone. Keep in mind that most girls will only start really pursuing, texting and calling you one or more time per day when she's already really liking you. It can happen in the end of the second month or the third month that you're dating her. The more she reaches out to you, the more dates you'll set. To begin with, set one date per week in the first month (AT MAX), and then slowly increase this number as you're feeling she's more and more into you.
 

EyeBRollin

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UPDATE: So I took @EyeBRollin advice and texted her to meet at 7:30 on Tuesday so there are no loose ends. She immediately responded and said that "that sounds great and I can't wait". I guess she was waiting on me to text. Oh well.
Perfect. In the future when asking out make sure all that is taken care of and nailed down ASAP. If you forget something, tie it down immediately. She needs to see a direct plan so she can anticipate and try to look pretty. Women just want to be cute and show up.
 

Dash Riprock

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UPDATE: So I took @EyeBRollin advice and texted her to meet at 7:30 on Tuesday so there are no loose ends. She immediately responded and said that "that sounds great and I can't wait". I guess she was waiting on me to text. Oh well.
It's a balancing act.

As men, we do need to be the assertive ones who are confident and go for what we want. Women do find this attractive. But, overdo it and you'll come across as needy like you don't have a life outside of her or dating. Play it too cool and she may think you're uninterested and move on and you've missed your chance.

How and when to act comes with experience. 90% of my decision on how I follow up after a date is based on how the date went and what I learned about her on the date. Also how she looked; there needs to be sexual attraction for me or I'll FZ her.

Generally, they either fall into the 1) ONS, FB, side-chick category or 2) someone who may have potential to be a steady. Again, just comes with experience. You just get to know. If I do like the girl, I'll err on the side of being assertive. If I'm lukewarm on her, I may not follow up at all. I'm a busy man and don't like to waste my time.
 

Glassguy

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Do you suggest waiting until Tuesday to say something at this juncture? We technically have not ironed out the specifics as far as time to meet etc. The place we will meet at is literally right next to where I live though.

My gut tells me I need to hold back and not text -- it is hard though because I am in a bad spot post LTR with only sub-par options. This chick is the first one I have felt into.
Yes
 

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Barrister

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It's a balancing act.

As men, we do need to be the assertive ones who are confident and go for what we want. Women do find this attractive. But, overdo it and you'll come across as needy like you don't have a life outside of her or dating. Play it too cool and she may think you're uninterested and move on and you've missed your chance.

How and when to act comes with experience. 90% of my decision on how I follow up after a date is based on how the date went and what I learned about her on the date. Also how she looked; there needs to be sexual attraction for me or I'll FZ her.

Generally, they either fall into the 1) ONS, FB, side-chick category or 2) someone who may have potential to be a steady. Again, just comes with experience. You just get to know. If I do like the girl, I'll err on the side of being assertive. If I'm lukewarm on her, I may not follow up at all. I'm a busy man and don't like to waste my time.
I think we’re all guilty of over-analyzing sometimes. And obviously not every chick is wired exactly the same. I agree though that generally less is more. I like your last bit about being extra assertive with the ones you like. That makes sense. This chick actually mentioned to me during the date she how I took control of the date (in so many words). I think most women still naturally want to be led even in this leftist/feminist society.
 

spikeanut

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I think most women still naturally want to be led even in this leftist/feminist society.
Correction...all women want to be led. The crux of the matter is, they want to be led by a strong, masculine man they can trust to lead. Women, even the die hard feminists, try to tear men down so they no longer respect them and ultimately see them as weak. Just like all women want to be led by strong men...no woman will be happy to allow a weak man to lead her. This is the conundrum with 3rd wave feminists; they are internally miserable. Their whole goal is to emasculate and weaken men, but then they abhor men who actually fail to stand up to them. Thus the whole "no more good men in the world." Which in reality, the good men, the strong, masculine men, just aren't willing to put of with their BS and chose to go about their business and not be around them.
 
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MoMoses

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UPDATE: We met last night as planned and banged it out (more than once). She has now been texting me nonstop today -- so a major difference from after the first date. Fellas - thanks for letting me bounce everything off of you.
This girl reminds me a lot of my last ex. She wasn't a texter either. Always left me on read and all, but I never chased and there was always fire works and steamy sex when we met up. I never asked her why she didn't text me and ignored my texts. Instead I acted like I didn't care. And then, without me asking.. one night we were laying in bed and she started saying how much she hates guys who keep texting her when she's not replying. How guys get more and more worried and feel like there is something wrong. Or how other guys try to 'punish' her for not texting by not replying themselves. There's no greater indication of being butthurt than acting like a little girl...

She was testing me by not texting. As she was testing the guys who came before me and the guys that will come after me. The trick is to not care.

This girl probably did the same thing. She has seen how guys can react when she's not texting them and doesn't want to end up with a weakling like that. So, well done on your part man :) But deep down, all along you knew what to do and what not to do. You didn't need this forum :)
 
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TheNewStyle123

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UPDATE: We met last night as planned and banged it out (more than once). She has now been texting me nonstop today -- so a major difference from after the first date. Fellas - thanks for letting me bounce everything off of you.
Ayyyy that's what we like to hear! That's great man - congrats.
 

Barrister

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This girl reminds me a lot of my last ex. She wasn't a texter either. Always left me on read and all, but I never chased and there was always fire works and steamy sex when we met up. I never asked her why she didn't text me and ignored my texts. Instead I acted like I didn't care. And then, without me asking.. one night we were laying in bed and she started saying how much she hates guys who keep texting her when she's not replying. How guys get more and more worried and feel like there is something wrong. Or how other guys try to 'punish' her for not texting by not replying themselves. There's no greater indication of being butthurt than acting like a little girl...

She was testing me by not texting. As she was testing the guys who came before me and the guys that will come after me. The trick is to not care.

This girl probably did the same thing. She has seen how guys can react when she's not texting them and doesn't want to end up with a weakling like that. So, well done on your part man :) But deep down, all along you knew what to do and what not to do. You didn't need this forum :)
My last ex was very hot and cold with texting -- but most women I have known typically text a lot. Which is what made this somewhat different than what I am used to since she immediately responded before last night when I would reach out but did not initiate any texting until today. Which makes sense now that we have banged.

I think a lot of us who have been on the board for some time KNOW what the right move is in most instances. It still helps to hear it from others or perhaps tweak what you would normally do.
 

RangerMIke

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Most women you just meet or start dating are all about how she is feeling in the moment. They can be hot one minute cold the next. I've had first dates with women that went really well... then the next week nothing. What happened? I don't know, but you can be sure that it really wasn't anything I did. Likely what happened is something went on in her life that took her in a different emotional direction. You can not control this... as long as you didn't do anything really stupid to turn her off, it was something in her life that happened you have no control over.

Could be anything really, but in my experience it was something one of her friends said to her, or another dude. When women have 1st dates, as soon as they can they are talking to their friends and taking apart everything you did, and after checking in with the chick network she will then decide how she feels about you. That or maybe an ex texted her and now she's off in another direction. There is nothing you can do about any of this, so just don't worry about it.

As far as texting... well maybe she is like me and hates texting. Try calling her and talking to her on the phone. Some older women I dat in their 40s don't like texting. Not everyone like to text.
 

FuzzX

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Western woman problems.

Sounds to me like you are dating a princess who has far too many options.

But pal, the first date you are already dropping money on her? You can't know if she possibly likes you or sees you as a meal and a drink.

**** me, I made my chick pay for Ramen on the first date, and she was broke. How are you gonna gauge interest levels in a hotel/casino or a nice car. Next time go to McD's in a hoodie and jeans, and bring a deck of cards.
 

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Barrister

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Western woman problems.

Sounds to me like you are dating a princess who has far too many options.

But pal, the first date you are already dropping money on her? You can't know if she possibly likes you or sees you as a meal and a drink.

**** me, I made my chick pay for Ramen on the first date, and she was broke. How are you gonna gauge interest levels in a hotel/casino or a nice car. Next time go to McD's in a hoodie and jeans, and bring a deck of cards.
I take your point to an extent. However, that simply isn’t my style. I typically dress nicely whenever I go out - date or not. And if I ask a woman out I generally will pay. I’m not showering her with gifts - just buying a drink or two. I know some may disagree with that but I don’t consider it beta. Simply how I operate.
 

EyeBRollin

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I don’t text. I let them know up front.

Texting is nothing more than an attention grab for them. They want orbiters on a leash. Women that text me incessantly I kindly tell them to pick up the phone and call if they want to chit chat, other wise save it for the date. Most of them by then realize the texting is just a dopamine high. “Hi, give me attention!”
 

FuzzX

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I take your point to an extent. However, that simply isn’t my style. I typically dress nicely whenever I go out - date or not. And if I ask a woman out I generally will pay. I’m not showering her with gifts - just buying a drink or two. I know some may disagree with that but I don’t consider it beta. Simply how I operate.
Sorry to hear that. I also wear suit and tie when the occasion calls for it but for girls when they FIRST meet you, their eyes look like this $v$
You are starting out on the WRONG foot by buying ANYTHING. It communicates that whatever dollar value you show her, is the bar for your relationship. So a couple drinks is what $20? Now she says to herself "Huh, so I can always call this chump for some free drinks". If you start throwing dollar menu cash, she'll be insulted. If you lose all your cash and your job, she's more likely to leave your ass in the dust. Theres no way you can tell right now if she's into you for the cash or the game you're spitting. I read that you nailed her but still bro, think about where you've set the bar. I'm guessing you're not keeping this chick longterm. The best first meeting is to come across like you're forkin broke and if she keeps spending time with you, then she's passed a big hurdle. Money messes with chick's minds from the get go, doesn't matter the amount.

A smooth dude would get her to buy HIM the drink and get her to take HIM to dinner at a place she likes. When she starts bringing you food and paying for dates, that's how you know she's crazy about you.
 

Barrister

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I don’t text. I let them know up front.

Texting is nothing more than an attention grab for them. They want orbiters on a leash. Women that text me incessantly I kindly tell them to pick up the phone and call if they want to chit chat, other wise save it for the date. Most of them by then realize the texting is just a dopamine high. “Hi, give me attention!”
If you’re actually fu*king them though I wouldn’t say you’re an orbiter. The chick who is the subject of this thread has actually texted consistently since we fu*ked the other night. We have another date set for next weekend since I can’t do it this weekend or next week before that. She seems very high interest now. I am only being flirtatious over text and not asking anything of substance.

However - I feel like if I completely ignored her texts or told her just to call if she wanted to talk I might not build the same rapport with her that the light- hearted back and forth gives. I don’t see a problem with it really if not overdone. I can see why you wouldn’t do it at all though.
 

EyeBRollin

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If you’re actually fu*king them though I wouldn’t say you’re an orbiter. The chick who is the subject of this thread has actually texted consistently since we fu*ked the other night. We have another date set for next weekend since I can’t do it this weekend or next week before that. She seems very high interest now. I am only being flirtatious over text and not asking anything of substance.

However - I feel like if I completely ignored her texts or told her just to call if she wanted to talk I might not build the same rapport with her that the light- hearted back and forth gives. I don’t see a problem with it really if not overdone. I can see why you wouldn’t do it at all though.
Just to be clear, I don’t ever ignore a womans text. I recognize the different types of texts. The first text she sends to initiate a conversation (right after exchanging numbers) “Hey how are you” I immediately ask them to do me a favor as a compliance test. I thank them for reaching out and tell them I prefer to correspond via the phone. If the date is already set up and only 2-3 days away I tell them to just save it for the date.
 
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