Chickened out of BootCamp because of a disease/disorder

[madgame]

Sup anyone? I've always been a rather introverted type of guy and tried to do the BootCamp like a year ago, but chickened out "because I had so much other stuff to do", but that isnt the whole truth. It's especially hard for me, probably harder than for most ppl who are just shy/introverted, because I have a disease/disorder called Asperger's Syndrome, which I only found out a few months ago (and now everything makes sense). Anyways one of the main symptomes of this disorder is not being able to make/maintain eye contact. I've never really tried looking people in the eyes then after finding this page I tried to do it all the time, but when I try to make eye contact (and when Im not tipsy or drunk) i start shaking (on the inside) and get all stiffed up and stuff, thats why I cant just do a regular bootcamp (cant do the eye contact thing), plus I have major issues making small talk, because I never really know spontaneously what to say (like most other people do). Anyways I think if I can pull of saying "hi" to like a hundred people (when I'm sober) that'll help me a lot. Basically I think I have to skip the eye contact part of the bootcamp (I dont really have too much of a problem looking people who I know or who im talking to in the eyes btw) and start with the saying "hi" part.

I hope I can get myself to say the first hi to a stranger (while not being drunk) next monday (sounds like Im procrastinating, but I have major issues at the moment with college, family and my newly discovered disease which i have to see doctors for..but anyways I really wanna pull this off and hope I get myself to start next monday!

Actually, I think I'm not bad looking and there's been quite a few chicks who were obviously interested in me (though most of the time I didnt get to do anything with them cause i was too introverted) plus enough who make (obvious) eye contact with me (or well try because I cant really hold it unless ive been drinking), but I'm still a virgin (and kissed the first time when I was 20) which I need to change this year..and to do so I need to become a lot more outgoing, which I think I can pull off if I manage to finish the bootcamp (or well a very similar version of
it...).

Actually most ppl who have the same disorder I have are way more shy than I am, but I was lucky to start working out pretty early and became a lot less shy over the years after having friends tell me that I had gotten big and huge and realized girls started taking notice of me (I cant really express how this whole weightlifting stuff can boost your confidence)..but I still can't approach anyone, most of the time not even when Im drunk though I have no problem making eye contact when I am. So my plan for year 22 of my life is becoming a lot more outgoing by finishing the bootcamp even though it might be somewhat of a mission impossible thing for me (which I hope it doesnt turn out to be!)

I'm sorry if the stuff I just wrote is a bit messy or whatever, but I just felt like getting this of my chest cause I just read some bootcamp thread and hope some guys here can build me up and give me some advice or whatever

 

[DrSassyPants]

It took some balls to tell us all that. I'm naturally introverted, but I can see where you would have it even tougher.

I'll tell you what I did (and am doing) to combat my shyness. Most of the time, I don't want to talk to people. Plain and simple. I can entertain myself. If I already have friends, why do I need more? That's what naturally runs through my brain. Looking at it more closely though, I'm not going to get anywhere in life by accepting that. And, despite what my brain tried to tell me, I'm not really happy living like that. Did I save myself the effort of making friends? Yes. Is it worth the boredom and depression that my lazy ass feels now? In my opinion, no. I can't tell you how many Friday and Saturday nights I spent my first year of college playing on my computer and feeling sorry for myself because I didn't have the testicular fortitude to talk to people.

Developing relationships with people can have a huge impact on one's life in general. You'll know where and when that party with all the hot chicks is. You'll know when that job you've always wanted opens up because you know people. You have high confidence that allows you to get everything you want out of life. You'll meet that special girl because she's your buddy's sister. You get the point.

It's hard. I still have to push myself to talk to people. I'm glad I do though. I'm glad that I now have the choice of whether to stay home or go out. I don't feel so out of place in social situations anymore. I don't have that dreaded sense of loneliness in my life.

Was it awkward getting to this point? You betcha. I didn't know what to say to people half the time. I hated making small talk, but I got better at it. I took note of the people around me who were especially adept at social interaction and learned from them. I got myself interested in the world around me so I'd have things to talk about. I've felt awkward, embarrassed, all that, and still do sometimes...but I would never trade it to be that lonely guy I once was, yearning for more out of life but too afraid to go get it. My life has definitely changed for the better.

Words from a fellow introvert. Hope they helped.

 

[So pimp its scary]

Ok, For you... wow... that is tough.

I for one am highly critical of todays psychologists, I have taken a test, just to prove a point, and I found that almost no matter what you say in this test it is possible to diagnose you with something. Ex : mildly neurotic.

The idea is that they find something wrong with everyone, and then they give them drugs to make them normal, ie ritalin, just to solve a problem that may never have been a problem in the first place... then the side-effects kick in.

Anyhow, for you... I would recommend go in front of a mirror, your gonna feel like a fool doing this and it may hurt at first... look yourself in the eyes... don't fidget, look yourself in the eyes how you would look someone else in the eyes. Tell yourself things with authority... say it like you mean it : "Your a pimp", "I love you man.", "I am strong, I am worthy of all that I desire!", "Nothing can get in my way". Do this for a WHOLE week if you have to... that will reprogram a little bit of the sht going on in your brain.

PM me when you get past that

 

[madgame]

@DrSassyPants: Actually you kinda sound like me in a way. I mean I was never really a loner, I've always gone to parties and stuff, but I used to not be able to talk to anybody really (except my friends of course)..over the years that changed and I've gotten better at it, but my big problem is that I still can't do no approaches, which I wanna do badly. I mean actually I dont think too many people can really tell I'm more introverted than your average guy, but I mean I know whats going on inside of me and wanna change that bad. And well I've been making efforts to become more talkative and stuff and I am interested in the world around me and don't really think to myself that I dont need to get to know new people, because I already know enough (I mean basically Im not really out to get to know friends. I couldnt care less about that, because Im not gonna go on the street and start chatting up dudes ..and when it comes to getting to know people who are already around me like in school it's not a big problem for me anymore to get to know people, but that way I hardly get to know any chicks and Im in college now (where here you sit in a room with like 500 people and its kinda hard to chat up a girl without really doing an approach like on the street...)

@sopimpitsscary:

I for one am highly critical of todays psychologists, I have taken a test, just to prove a point, and I found that almost no matter what you say in this test it is possible to diagnose you with something. Ex : mildly neurotic.

I get your point. I mean I've been to so many doctors in my life (for a lot of different things) and like every second time I got a wrong diagnosis or they made some other stupid mistake with the medication or anything (from knee pain to the dentist..to whateva...).

Actually I haven't been diagnosed with Asperger's (I most likely will in 4 weeks when i have an appointment tho), but like when I was in elementary school I'd write mirror-inverted in class without noticing it (lol), I had always been way introverted (though I always had friends (who werent nerds), probably because I've always been into sports and stuff) and well I had "tics" (eye blinking, pulling faces, gritting my teeth, clearing my throat like crazy...) and later on found out that what I have is usually diagnosed as the tourette's syndrome (like 10 years after going from hospital to hospital for that stuff) and went to an expert who diagnosed me with it. But there was still so much stuff that made me feel like Im strange or well just different in a way and I found out about Asperger's (I have all the "necessary symptomes") in which such a mild form of tourette's is present in a lot of cases (btw I still have this eye blinking stuff, clearing my throat and other "tics" but it was only bad when i was a little kid and for like 10 or so years its been very mild (I never do it in public and nobody who I know other than some doctors and my family (who i told about it like 1 year ago) know about it because as soon as I'm not by myself I probably hold it back in a subconscious way (without hardly noticing it though). And anyways, I've also gone to a forum for people with Asperger's and I really recognized myself in what they said...and everytime I asked a question like "is this because of asperger`s? do you do this too?" everybody was like "yes!" lol..Anyways I have no doubt I have it, but its kinda funny, because nobody really knows that there's anything wrong with me. Nobody knows about my mild form of tourette's (btw this stuff u see on tv, that ppl with tourette always CURSE is only true for like 10% with that illness) nor that I have Asperger's, though a few friends of mine are sometimes like "man u so strange lol" but they say it more like a joke...just meant to say this so u get the picture (I have this(these) disorder(s) but its nothing people notice, Im the only one who has to deal with it).

Anyways, thanks for your help I'll let you guys know how it goes.

 

[So pimp its scary]

I hate to break it to you, but your gonna have alot more work to do... one recommendation I would make is to stop seeing so many doctors. I mean, I only see a doctor for once a year checkups, and if I'm in a position where things could turn fatal if I don't.

You are gonna have to test your friendships at this same time. Tell them that you are sick of being so introvert that you are gonna do what it takes to break out of your shell, and ask them to help. You just helped me get an idea for another thread...

Anyway, I remember another example of medical science that I've heard, that at this one clinic they took a group of people that were completely pschizo and took a psychological test only proving their condition. Then they were asked to simply answer the same test as though they were normal people.

The result was that a portion of the patients actually ended up curing themselves of their condition by simply thinking of what it would be like to be normal, how they would act and think, while most of the others had a definite improvement in their condition.

 

[madgame]

I hate to break it to you, but your gonna have alot more work to do... one recommendation I would make is to stop seeing so many doctors. I mean, I only see a doctor for once a year checkups, and if I'm in a position where things could turn fatal if I don't.

I think u misunderstood me a bit..

- When I said I've been to so many doctors in my life, it's not like I'm constantly going to doctors for nothing. I mean I was in a couple of hospitals when I was around 7 because of this nervous disease thing because they thought it was a seizure disorder at first, which it turned out not to be (but still they never figured out what it was..)

Other than that I went to a doctor because I had mad knee pain after hurting my knee during basketball practice. That was one of the times when a doctor made a false diagnosis, because of which I wasnt able to play any sports for over a year...

Then like 2 years ago I was at a doctor because I needed a letter from a doctor for not taking a test..so I said something like I was feeling bad blabla..he did the usual check up and was like "somethings wrong with ur heart" ..I was sent to a "heart specialist" (dunno the term in english)..but luckily it turned out to not be a bad thing at all.

Another thing i had like a year ago or so was getting dizzy all of the time..I went to a doctor who said everything was alright..but I knew it wasnt..so I went to another one who sent me to some specialist who found out that I had had a thyroid infection and thus a malfunction of my thyroids because of which i was getting dizzy all the time (but thats been fixed, too).

Oh yeah and other than that there was some dentist who did a lot of stuff which wasnt necessary to make some more money......

But anyways other than that I was only at a hospital twice or three times until I was diagnosed with (a very mild form of it) tourette's which I basically did so I didnt have to go to the army (in germany after graduating from high school, if youre a guy u have to either go to the army for a year or do some social work for a year and hardly get any money for that).

That was like 3 years or so ago and now Im gonna see a doctor to be diagnosed with Asperger's...not because I like going to doctors or anything but because I need to have such a letter so I can stay in college (kinda complicated story).

Anyways I guess Im like you when it comes to that. I dont like going to a doctor's but every time I did, it was necessary. (I guess u kinda got a wrong impression of that because I was talking about having been to so many doctors in my life).

You are gonna have to test your friendships at this same time. Tell them that you are sick of being so introvert that you are gonna do what it takes to break out of your shell, and ask them to help. You just helped me get an idea for another thread...

I think I kind came off a bit wrong on this one, too. Its not like im overly introvert and I definetly dont come across as very introvert. It's just that I have a really hard time getting myself to approach girls I dont know (actually Ive even done it before and it worked out pretty well but like 99% of the time I just cant get myself to do it, especially not if im completely sober and I really wanna change that, but I think Im really gonna have to do the bootcamp for that). Other than that approaching issue Im fairly normal, I guess

Anyways I have a plan now...Im trying not to take it too fast and get comfortable with the stuff Im doing. Im gonna start tomorrow and Im gonna try to get a 100 hellos during the next 4 weeks (as in a month ;-)) (starting with older ppl working my way up to hot chicks my age). If I can do that and make saying hello/hi to anyone I pass by second nature, I guess I'll be all set. If it's still not second nature after a 100 maybe Im gonna do a 1000 so it becomes as normal to me as greeting ppl I know. I really think I can pull off doing that and like I said if I can manage to do this Ill be able to do the rest, too.

Anyways, even if you misunderstood me a little, thanks for your help. I really appreciate it.