Chick wants to hang out but always on about other guys

[MoreThanSmooth]

So this girl I've worked with for a while treats me pretty much like I'm just a friend but then she also seems to hint at more date-like activities too. Helped her out with something the other week and she said "I think I should buy you dinner." She's also been trying to get me out to lunch with her outside work.

I suggested we do shots together at the weekend for fun and she replied "Yeah I'm so up for drinking with you." She's even said "I really want to get f***ed soon", though since she is foreign I guess she means drunk only. In the past she also said "My place is always free for you to crash". I've actually done that once already (sofa).

This sounds pretty promising right? Well, here's the thing that pisses me off: whenever we hang out she starts bringing up random dudes. If we're sat having coffee she'll start saying some guy sat behind me is hot. I always just pretty much ignore it and keep talking.

Today we were going for lunch and she just met some random new guy as we were walking there. Skinny guy, not great looking, was quite rude to her.

Her response? "He's quite cute, can we invite him to lunch with us?" Of course I was like "Errr, no."
During lunch: "He's quite nice, do you know if he's single? Can you find out?" Again: "I don't know him, no."

Basically...wtf is this girl up to? She wants to go drinking with me alone this weekend, but she's telling me she wants to bang some randomer she doesn't even know?

She invited me to a party at her's a while back and spent ages that night failing at flirting with some random douchey dude who didn't give a crap. Her friends even said to her that I was better looking than this guy, trying to hook us up I guess...but nope.

Anyway I figure I give her a chance this weekend, and then after that I'm going to stop letting her treat me like a gay best friend or something. Really don't get what she's playing at.

 

[PokerStar]

I say dont even give her a chance for this weekend.

Go out and meet new people.

It just seems she is not attracted to you. well not yet at least. pull back your attention. if she asks you to chill, turn it down. if she asks why? just say you have other things to attend to.

be mysterious. be in different.

 

[dustmuffin]

You need to escalate for sex. If that doesn't work I would move along. She seems to have moved you into the friend zone. Don't waste time on women you aren't f uc king

 

[Glassguy]

You need to escalate for sex. If that doesn't work I would move along. She seems to have moved you into the friend zone. Don't waste time on women you aren't f uc king

This ^^^^^^

She has basically laid herself out for you but you have done NOTHING to reciprocate. Why wouldnt she start talking about random guys at this point to stir you up?

Be a man and make a move. If it backfires, so be it.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

This is what happens whenever you just "hangout" with a chick AND not make any move and or flirt or any escalation what so ever.

#1 she's a coworker so you shouldn't be pursuing her anyway, unless you don't care about your job. This girl is overtly telling you she's horny & wants to fück and you're just sitting there all confused.

Goto to the bottom this page and click on DJ bible, start reading.

 

[Chev.Chelios]

dude just fvck her and let her do wtf she wants to do.

cut out any intentions of being in a relationship and what she does will have no effect on you.

 

[skinnyguy]

You’re too available.

Tell her she’s ugly and you’re too busy ****ing other girls to hang out with her

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

Thanks for all the advice guys

Yeah probably sounds stupid but I don't actually know if I want to hook up with her. I think that's part of the problem - my fault for being indecisive. She's attractive but I just...don't feel that bothered I guess?

So I think I'll just see some other chicks but see what happens if I go for a kiss next time we're alone together. Reading the DJ bible now btw, I started ages ago but never got round to digging into it properly.

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

Careful....NOT a good idea to start a romance with a coworker when you have lukewarm interest at best.

Yeah, she works at another department so it's not too bad if things turn sour. I finish in 3 months here anyway, so...hopefully the normal pitfalls aren't a problem.

 

[Murk]

Girls talk about other guys to gauge your reaction

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

Apologies for thread necromancy. Haven't talked to this girl for a few weeks and now suddenly she's messaging asking for drinks on Friday. Thoughts?

I'm thinking I'll go but I'm finding it a bit odd. I'm betting over the course of the beers she'll be calling me "pal" a lot and talking about some guy she wants to f*** and I'll regret even giving her the time.

She keeps telling me how "cool" I am and how interesting my interests are, but the minute I feel like escalating it's straight back to "See that guy behind you? I want to sit on his lap. LOLLLLL."

 

[derby1]

she sounds like an Immature Extrovert Dckhead

Reply to her @LessThanSmooth with

"Havent seen you in a while be good to catch up, Ill tell you what , why dont you come out with me to some Bars and well treat it as a proper date"


1 of 1 thing is gonna happen then YOUR GONNA KNOW EXACTLY WHERE YOU STAND

if she tries to change the night withdraw the offer and say youll be intouch

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

She's telling me her fave hobby is "sleeping in" now. How am I even supposed to have a conversation with that as material? You like sleeping? Yeah me too. Sigh.
(And yes I could escalate to something ultra sexual about her bed or whatever but I don't really know her well enough to do that without sounding like a massive c*ck).

Thank you @derby1 I will give that a go.

 

[derby1]

send that text I put exactly how i worded it no question mark at the end notice how i put the words you and me

no idle chit chat....time to cut through the bullsht

this a proper low value woman personally id keep away from her,

send the text anyway let us know her response before you reply to her

 

[RangerMIke]

Dude... you are a gay male girlfriend. If that is okay with you then go with it, be her friend. You soon get to here about how 'big' the dude that is fvcking her is, and how his cvm tastes... doesn't that sound awesome!

You have already blown it with chick, which is good news since you work together. If you ever want something to happen you have to put time and space between you. After a while she might MIGHT re-set the paradigm and you can try again only that time you need to be focused on getting her and not send out any friend vibe.

 

[Macaframalama]

She's telling me her fave hobby is "sleeping in" now. How am I even supposed to have a conversation with that as material? You like sleeping? Yeah me too. Sigh.

Lol. How are you not?!?! This is the perfect opportunity to turn the talk South and start engaging in sexual banter and escalate to fvcking her. Fvck thinking you will come off some type of way. This is about you and what you want. She's practically done everything short of jerking her panties off and layed it out spread eagle in front of you.

 

[MoreThanSmooth]

Lol. How are you not?!?! This is the perfect opportunity to turn the talk South and start engaging in sexual banter and escalate to fvcking her. Fvck thinking you will come off some type of way. This is about you and what you want. She's practically done everything short of jerking her panties off and layed it out spread eagle in front of you.

Well kind of. Some girls really do just talk tediously about how they enjoy sitting on a sofa sometimes or sleeping...lol. But yeah I know what you mean. I've definitely been s*** at giving her signals myself. I don't have much sexual confidence atm, maybe I will try stepping it up if I see her.

 

[derby1]

you should not be talking sex talk to a woman AT ALL, she will run to the hills, unless she has been intimate with you for a good 3 months and knows your character

 

[Macaframalama]

you should not be talking sex talk to a woman AT ALL, she will run to the hills, unless she has been intimate with you for a good 3 months and knows your character

Where did you get this info from? I'm assuming not experience and if so, you're probably not escalating properly and need to recalibrate your approach. There's a difference in getting completely explicit with the sexual talk and bantering, teasing and communicating it through body language and touch. If done properly, it will be playful and flirtatious. The tables are completely flipped in this scenario. She's already led the conversation there and he isn't even following her there. OP has been green lighted numerous times and balking.

 

[Roober]

I will repeat this again...

Women have two types of friends
1. Girlfriends
2. Boyfriends

If your not fvcking her, you are her girlfriend. Be a man, be a sexual being, make a move. That will tell you everything.