"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Chick that LMR'd me, contacts me

sirkjd

Don Juan
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Hey guys,

SITUATION:

-dated a chick (hb7) for about 3 months only once a week.

-Dates only consisted of cheap drinks/desserts then go home for makeout sessions.

-Most sexually we've done is finger/oral

-I was never an emotional tampon, only communicated to arrange dates. Never really understood why I got LMR'd all the time.

-After 3 months, I read rollo tomassi's rule #3 and decided to stop wasting time with that chick. I quietly stopped setting up dates, but kept being polite and nice with her. never initiate any contact with her.

-She starts to ping me sweet texts more like "good night"'s and kisses, I just reply with "thanks! you too"

-She then mentions "id like to see you during the day too, blablabla" baiting me to invite her out again. Again I only reply professionaly nice, but don't set up any date.

-She leaves for a 2 week trip, but right before, she emails me saying that she misses me and hopes that everything is going well. I reply along the lines of "thanks! you too!" again.

-She's back from vacation. Texts me randomly "Hello! :)" I don't bother replying.

- 4-5 days later she emails me on facebook that "she texted me, but assumes that I'm on vacation, and wants to get together when I get back, and wishes me good stuff where ever I am".


Now I like the chick obviously, but I understand that once LMR'd, relationships usually don't work unfortunately.

I think that if I just go back to setting up a date, then we'll just go back to the old routine of me setting up dates and her giving me LMR's.

The only way I want to see her again is if there is a change. as in she shows a big upgrade in her interest level.

Basically what is a bigger DHV for me?

1-Keep ignoring and move on. (either she goes overt and pushes hard to meet me; or we never speak to each other again)

or

2-actually respond a short "yup! let's get together soon! take care" leaving it at that (not setting up a date, she can make a move, take it or leave it).



Keep in mind that I accept moving on, and I would prefer it over going back to investing time on a chick that doesn't put out fully.

Thanks!
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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DonJuanabe

Master Don Juan
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At some point, if you do nothing, she is likely to meet a guy and you won't receive any more texts. I suggest inviting her over to your place for dinner -- you cook and include wine with the meal -- and you take the initiative to escalate beyond making out. If she actually says no then you tell her to consider dinner as her farewell supper and escort her out the door. My guess is that won't be happening. But YOU have to escalate.
 

sirkjd

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thanks. I always escalated already, never worked fully.

I know that if I set up the date again, it will go back to the old routine. I don't want that. The only way I accept seeing her again is if SHE puts big effort into meeting me. I want her to set up the date, and look forward to it.
 

sirkjd

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foreplay, remove clothes, being more aggressive. stuff that usually works for me. but i don't think that is my issue here. I think I got to point of being too predictable with her by setting up all the dates all the time. She got used to our routine and not having to completely put out.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Dust 2 Dust

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I give a b1tch 3-4 dates depending on the b1tch. 3 months is way too long to make a guy wait. If you ain't sleeping with her within 3-4 dates you probably never will.
 

sirkjd

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I know and agree.

Its been 2 months since I've seen her now. I stopped initiating contact for a long while, but keep receiving pings from her. I ignored the last two.

Again, here is my question: what is a bigger DHV for me?

1-Keep ignoring and move on. (either she goes overt and pushes hard to meet me; or we never speak to each other again)

or

2-actually respond a short "yup! let's get together soon! take care" leaving it at that (not setting up a date, she can make a move, take it or leave it).
 

Dust 2 Dust

Master Don Juan
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sirkjd said:
Again, here is my question: what is a bigger DHV for me?

1-Keep ignoring and move on. (either she goes overt and pushes hard to meet me; or we never speak to each other again)

or

2-actually respond a short "yup! let's get together soon! take care" leaving it at that (not setting up a date, she can make a move, take it or leave it).
I'd go for option 1. It it had been me I would have bailed after the first month. I wouldn't meet up with her either. She's not worth taking on dates from what you've written.
 
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