Chick Logic and the Myth of the Unique Snowflake

squirrels

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 15, 2003
Messages
6,676
Reaction score
163
Age
40
Location
A universe...where heartbreak and sadness have bee
Why do even the Don Juans on this forum eventually come crawling in with a "WHY???" post? How is it we can have this wealth of knowledge on this forum and somehow we always end up with that special situation where we're suddenly trying to scheme a way to win over some hottie? Why do we keep falling into the same traps over and over again?

The answer is really simple...despite all the tips and tricks to emulate alpha-male behavior, despite getting in touch with our sexuality and becoming top-notch men, many of us STILL proceed from one basic notion. That notion is that eventually we are going to meet a girl who's DIFFERENT.

"Oh, she's not like the rest! She's no slut...she's a good girl. She's an upstanding, moral woman with a respectable personality. She doesn't flake...she holds true to her commitments. She wouldn't cheat on me. She doesn't demand attention, she isn't addicted to drama...she's DIFFERENT. She's a real keeper...how can I hang on to her? What do I need to do? What if she doesn't respond? Why is she not responding? What can I do to win her back? Why is she cheating on me? What should I do? HEEEEELLLPP!!!"

Repeat after me: ALL WOMEN ARE THE SAME.

From the cheap bar-troll you macked last weekend to that gorgeous independent woman who you're trying desperately to steal away and make your own, they ALL work on a common set of operating principles. We refer to it as "chick-logic".

As a result of "chick-logic", ALL women are slvts, ALL women are flakes, ALL women are cheaters, attention *****s, drama queens, etc, etc...the degree to which is determined by "chick-logic".

Now all women are capable of being androgynous, just as all men are, and often we act in that way in professional situations. But you're not looking for a business-partner...you're looking for a mate, f-buddy, girlfriend, or possibly a wife. Which means sooner or later, you are going to have to bring out the feminine qualities in her. And when you do, you WILL be exposed to "chick-logic".

What is "Chick-Logic"?

Chick-Logic is a misnomer, really, in the sense that it's really reverse-logic. The inherent principle behind chick-logic is this: Women do not think logically. They make decisions based on feelings and emotions. Chick-Logic is logic after the fact. Women make decisions and take actions based on what they're feeling...then, after the fact, they construct a logic-pattern which fits the way they felt or acted.

Let's give an example...suppose you got this girl's number last Friday night and you call her up Sunday and set up a date for Monday night. She agrees. You show up at the place where you two are supposed to meet and wait. And wait. And wait. A half-hour later you call her, no answer. You've just been stood up.

You see this as a violation of a verbal agreement. When she said "yes" to meeting you, to you, that represented a commitment to be at a certain place at a certain time. As a man, you have a sense of honor which sets certain rules for conduct. You see her failure to show as a violation of this honor construct.

What she sees is that she received a call from someone. She felt confused because she didn't recognize the number. Then when you identified yourself, she felt unsure because she didn't really remember much about you. Then she stacked you up against the three other guys who talked to her that night and her feelings weren't very intense for you. She agreed to a date because at the time she had nothign else planned, which made her feel very bored, and she figured that you would relieve the monotony. Then, around 5:30, her friend called, which made her feel relieved and happy. Her friend invited her to go out to some event, which made her feel excited. She then weighed this feeling of excitement with the feeling of nervous uncertainty she had about gonig out with you...and frankly, you lost out.

Then "chick-logic" kicks in. She will build from an assumption that you really don't care about her anyway. Or she will remember the flaws in your presentation and build an opinion that you are really not worth her time anyway. Or she'll create a moral evaluation that spending time with her friends is more important than "some guy she met in the bar". Or maybe she'll just decide to forget and justify it by saying she's got too much going on...or she was tired...or something else. Either way, you'll never get the REAL story.

There are all kinds of behaviors we "don't understand" because of the way we think about women:

-A woman will "cheat" on her man because of arousal or attraction and later excuse it by vilifying the man or pointing out the things in her life she believes she "deserves" that he isn't satisfying.

-A woman will flake on a date because of uncertainty or nervousness or other negative emotions and later justify it by claiming that she was busy, or that her other things have higher value than "some guy", etc...

-A woman will FIND a reason to demand attention.

-A woman will FIND a reason to start sh!t.

-A woman will FIND a reason to sleep with someone she just met.


You will NEVER "get it". So stop trying.


The Problem with Men

The problem with us as men is that we keep trying to UNDERSTAND women. We keep looking at chick-logic and making an assumption that it is the SOURCE of women's behavior, rather than a CONSEQUENCE of it. It just doesn't make sense, and we sit there wondering, "What is she THINKING??"

Of course, we've heard of chick-logic, but because of the one fairy-tale we can't shake out of our heads, that fairy-tale that each woman is a beautiful, unique snowflake with a wide variety of personalities and driving influences, we keep expecting every woman we meet, especially the ones who happen to catch our fancy, to be different.

We keep trying to appeal to them in terms of logical value. We say to ourselves, "I'm smart, I'm funny, I'm attractive, I'm considerate...why would any woman NOT want to date me?" If chick-logic makes an appearance in the objec! of our affection, we disregard it and assume that it's just interference that can be worked out.

What we're doing is trying to work AGAINST the woman's feminine nature. Beneath the chick-logic, there's this emotional ebb and flow that most men completely DISREGARD as an unfortunate side-effect of chick-logic. This is NOT a side-effect...this emotional rollercoaster is the ESSENCE of the female psyche and the SOURCE of chick-logic. You can change the way a woman thinks a thousand times over, but she will ALWAYS reconstruct what you put in place to fit with her emotions. Unless you can affect how she FEELS, you will continue to fail.

Look at the DJ repetoire:

-Why ****y-funny? Because it plays on how a woman FEELS. It generates feelings of inadequacy interlaced with playfulness and positive attitude. It creates a challenge.

-Why kino? Because it plays on how a woman FEELS. It generates sexual arousal, especially if she finds you attractive.

-Why tell stories and develop rapport? It plays on how she FEELS. By understanding her experience, you create an emotional connection that can't be created via a 20-questions style of approach.

-Why do all the best DJs tell you, "Ignore what a woman says, only pay attention to what she does?" Because what she says is controlled by how she thinks, which is based on chick-logic, but what she DOES is driven by how she FEELS.


This is why you cannot "lock a woman down", be it by marriage, social convention, or whatever...because such a contract is only as good as the honor system it's based on...and if a Don Juan can change how she FEELS, she will build chick-logic which bends or makes exceptions to that honor system.

You can't make music by studying how a guitar is crafted. You can't make music by beating a guitar against a rock. And you can jump from guitar to guitar and assume that each one has a different construction or sound and that sooner or later you'll find one that works for you, but they're ALL built the same and work on the same principles. You have to learn how to pick and strum...you need to learn the technique for PLAYING. And that takes practice and an ear for music.

Why am I using this analogy? Why do rockstars get all the women? A B-list musician can probably pull more hot tail than Bill Gates...why? Guys who are able to seduce multiple women are called "players"...why?

Because the way I described a guitar, the same thing goes for a woman. You will NEVER find a woman who relies on logic in matters of romance. You'll never be able to understand a woman by thinking and you'll never be able to hold on to a woman by reason. Doesn't matter WHAT woman...they are all the same. You need to learn to recognize her feelings, develop an "ear" for women, and then learn to generate those emotions within her to keep her "interest level" up. If you can generate good emotions in her, she will invent the chick-logic explaining why you are the best thing that ever happened to her. And she will do this ALL BY HERSELF.

Now you might be asking, "How do I learn to play"? Well...that's beyond the scope of THIS post. But I think you have an idea where to start.
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

wayword

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 13, 2006
Messages
1,490
Reaction score
18
Location
BFE
squirrels said:
really reverse-logic. The inherent principle behind chick-logic is this: Women do not think logically. They make decisions based on feelings and emotions. Chick-Logic is logic after the fact. Women make decisions and take actions based on what they're feeling...then, after the fact, they construct a logic-pattern which fits the way they felt or acted.
I TOTALLY AGREE! I made this point to some girls recently and some got reallly annoyed with it. :D But, it IS TOTALLY TRUE. 100%! :crackup:

I may even have to quote you here next time, as this is basically exactly how I would define it too.

And you are RIGHT, women are all robotic slaves to their programming. Which is all pretty much similar.
 

squirrels

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 15, 2003
Messages
6,676
Reaction score
163
Age
40
Location
A universe...where heartbreak and sadness have bee
wayword said:
I TOTALLY AGREE! I made this point to some girls recently and some got reallly annoyed with it. :D But, it IS TOTALLY TRUE. 100%! :crackup:

I may even have to quote you here next time, as this is basically exactly how I would define it too.

And you are RIGHT, women are all robotic slaves to their programming. Which is all pretty much similar.
Bear in mind I'm not passing judgement here. I'm not being mysogenistic and saying all women are somehow EVIL for being the way they are. It's just an entirely different way they operate.

You could make the same argument about men. We have our OWN operating principles that women "just don't get". They probably can't conceptualize how we can act with such a cold, logical outlook on life without empathizing with every damn thing.

We're all different expressions of a theme, but the theme is the SAME. All women operate the same. From the ones that I had so much in common with it was liek we would finish each others' sentences to the ones that I couldn't even stand to be in the same room with, looking back, all of them operated the same way when it came to social and romantic themes.

This isn't necessarily a BAD thing...if you can learn to use it to your advantage, you can find new ways of expressing yourself and achieve perspectives which you didn't even know existed.

But there's really nothing to "understand" in a logical sense. You have to FEEL it. You have to learn the new language.
 

THE_ADDMAN

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2005
Messages
829
Reaction score
3
Age
33
Location
Newmarket, Ontario
squirrels said:
They probably can't conceptualize how we can act with such a cold, logical outlook on life without empathizing with every damn thing.

That is so true. A lot of girls ask how I can be so cold sometimes. as I mentioned, I still have some bad programming that makes me feel bad for being "cold and logical" when a girl says that. Even if it turns out that my perception was right.

Just some bad programming I need to get over. Keep improving. such is the life of a Don Juan
 

skip2mylou781

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2006
Messages
1,806
Reaction score
10
Age
35
put this in the goddamn Discussion part of the forum so more people can read this!!!

you have been reading my thread about my hb9.5 oneitis havent u??? lol

I will add this thread as #3 best possible advice i ever heard on sosuave

#1 - gunwitch
#2 - push pull
#3 - women are not logical
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

THE_ADDMAN

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2005
Messages
829
Reaction score
3
Age
33
Location
Newmarket, Ontario
skip2mylou781 said:
put this in the goddamn Discussion part of the forum so more people can read this!!!

and I bumped it.

You're welcome ;)
 

matygee

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 8, 2006
Messages
98
Reaction score
0
Location
Toronto
Awesome freaking post bro. I wanna add this to my favorite posts.
 

TyTe`EyEs

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 25, 2004
Messages
1,059
Reaction score
2
Age
34
Location
Tallahassee
Good post squirrels. You have made drastic improvements over the years. Keep it up, bro.
 

squirrels

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 15, 2003
Messages
6,676
Reaction score
163
Age
40
Location
A universe...where heartbreak and sadness have bee
TyTe`EyEs said:
Good post squirrels. You have made drastic improvements over the years. Keep it up, bro.
Sometimes I feel like I'm going in circles, though...when I type something like this up, I inevitably say to myself, "I KNOW this, I've known it for YEARS. Why do I keep getting caught up in the SAME bullsh!t?"

I'm hoping to find a way to say it that it finally sticks in my mind. Anything I've said here has been said in different ways a million times before. I envy people who just naturally understand it without having to reason it out...that's what I aspire to become.
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

Bvbidd

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 16, 2006
Messages
1,503
Reaction score
7
Ugh come to think of it though.

Wouldn' this mean some guy good at evoking emotions could get any girl in bed right away without her telling herself she'd be a slvt if she did it. Because she would tell herself that and stop it even though slvtiness was never mentioned, her social conditioning and yes logic told her it would be slvtty and she won't do it.

Does that not totally disprove your theory there?
 

squirrels

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 15, 2003
Messages
6,676
Reaction score
163
Age
40
Location
A universe...where heartbreak and sadness have bee
Bvbidd said:
Ugh come to think of it though.

Wouldn' this mean some guy good at evoking emotions could get any girl in bed right away without her telling herself she'd be a slvt if she did it. Because she would tell herself that and stop it even though slvtiness was never mentioned, her social conditioning and yes logic told her it would be slvtty and she won't do it.

Does that not totally disprove your theory there?
If she wants you bad enough, she will generate an exception to justify it.

It's like hacking a computer...all it takes is time. Some take longer than others.
 

Bvbidd

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 16, 2006
Messages
1,503
Reaction score
7
You know what. I think your actually right about that.

Okay, Good Post.
 

Hitman10000

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 29, 2006
Messages
610
Reaction score
8
Agree with the chick logic part. A girl bases most of her decisions on the way how she feels about something. All I gotta say is that you should take any thing a woman as equal as an ocean wave passing or a windy breeze going against you.

For instance, a chick got pissed at me so she goes all crazy. I just nod away and then go back to work. She barks at me a couple more times, I just go yeah that's cool and keep on my work. Next day, she's all normal and stuff. Most AFCs would try to appease or make the girl feel better about herself. Unless she's bleeding or physically hurt I am not going to do any such thing like that.
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

squirrels

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 15, 2003
Messages
6,676
Reaction score
163
Age
40
Location
A universe...where heartbreak and sadness have bee
Hitman10000 said:
Agree with the chick logic part. A girl bases most of her decisions on the way how she feels about something. All I gotta say is that you should take any thing a woman as equal as an ocean wave passing or a windy breeze going against you.

For instance, a chick got pissed at me so she goes all crazy. I just nod away and then go back to work. She barks at me a couple more times, I just go yeah that's cool and keep on my work. Next day, she's all normal and stuff. Most AFCs would try to appease or make the girl feel better about herself. Unless she's bleeding or physically hurt I am not going to do any such thing like that.
Word. I make the mistake of trying to reason with women too often...I've tried in too many cases to appeal to their sense of reason...that's basically how I realized it's pretty much pissing into the wind. All reasoning represents to a woman is boundaries on her feelings...they want to feel however they feel without things like sense taking over. NEVER play by a woman's rules, because the rules are constantly changing. You CAN'T win that way. You can play all you want, but play by YOUR rules...which essentially means "cheating" by going after her emotions instead of her sense of logic.

That's where most AFCs fall short...they listen to what a woman SAYS instead of looking for the MEANING behind the words...or the actions, which rarely lie. They think there's some catch-phrase or action which will make her say, "Oh, he did this...he must be OK. I'll sleep with him." There is NO SUCH THING. The only thing that makes a girl say that is stimulating her positive emotions and sense of arousal. Once that's done, she'll FIND or FABRICATE a logical reason to be into you.

It sucks sometimes...because sometimes you WANT there to be some structure to your interaction, but all you can do is play with the feelings and hope eventually you hit on the right combination so that she constructs the chick-logic you were trying to instill anyway.

You can TELL, though, when what you're doing is not going to work. You get that sick feeling in your stomach...YOUR feelings as a male are designed to tell you when you're going the right or wrong direction with a woman. Your instinct just lets you know. What I'll do all too often is try to ride out a course of action instead of recognizing "bad vibes" and dodging them before I actually get caught up in them.

One of the more important things I'm realizing is that ending any encounter with a woman on a HIGH NOTE is an absolute MUST to generate the feelings you want, and subsequently, the chick-logic you want. My biggest mistake is staying in too long, catching some bad vibes, and trying to ride them out until they pass, hoping to be able to resume play and get what I'm after.

My mind doesn't give my gut enough credit. :D
 

librito

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Dec 31, 2004
Messages
309
Reaction score
22
freaking true all the way..........this is a must read for any man who wants to understand how "chick's logic" works.
beautiful writing, amazing stuff.
 

fertileTurtle

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 11, 2006
Messages
586
Reaction score
8
Location
South Carolina, USA
Why do all the best DJs tell you, "Ignore what a woman says, only pay attention to what she does?" Because what she says is controlled by how she thinks, which is based on chick-logic, but what she DOES is driven by how she FEELS.
The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
 
Top