Chick backs off because of my distant texting.. what?

[jay07]

Me and my ex girlfriend started hanging out again, and she wanted to work things out she said so she was trying hard to gain my affection back.

-Texting me every morning, always initiating
-Stopping up at my work and bringing me things
-Hanging out 3-4x a week

But the thing was, i was acting distant, using pretty much what i learned here. Short responses, waiting awhile to contact back, ending the convos, displaying to her i had options when we were out.

Well we had a great night last thursday, ended hooking up. Next morning i text her for the first time cause she didnt text me, waiting til like 4pm. She then starts sending me two-three word responses and waiting awhile.

Then sunday comes around and i ask her why shes acting different and she hits me with 'seems like your not trying, i always try to make you happy and you dont appreciate it'. So i just told her her effort was kind of pathetic and giving her a second chance and hanging out with her was a good effort in my eyes, apparently she wanted me to do more for her.

Its been like a week since we talked now. Was wondering if i was acting too cold and should text her and see whatsup or if she was just saying that as an excuse cause she lost interest.

Your guys opinions?

 

[TheException]

But the thing was, i was acting distant, using pretty much what i learned here. Short responses, waiting awhile to contact back, ending the convos, displaying to her i had options when we were out.


Its not so much the actions than the mentality. Things you list above arent "alpha". They're alpha WHEN your actually too busy to text her because your trying to conquer the world. Just because you do things that are typically "alpha" does not make them so. Too little information to say that this is the case here....but if you think simply doing these things will generate attraction on their own...you are incorrect. She could possibly know your doing these things in an attempt to "play games".

-Texting me every morning, always initiating
-Stopping up at my work and bringing me things
-Hanging out 3-4x a week

Too much contact...especially for an ex. Id only see her once a week and not text her everyday(ya, even if she initiates).

She then starts sending me two-three word responses and waiting awhile.

Girls are emotional creatures. They are hot and cold by nature. Dont become clingy and needy when they pull away...give her the space. "Give her the gift of missing you".

Then sunday comes around and i ask her why shes acting different


Ugh. Mistake^ See my above response.

she hits me with 'seems like your not trying, i always try to make you happy and you dont appreciate it

Doesnt matter what she says...its always a lack of attraction(sometimes rapport).

Its been like a week since we talked now. Was wondering if i was acting too cold and should text her and see whatsup

Dont...if she goes cold, your attitude should be of indifference. Her loss pal. I wouldnt text her, until she hits you up, then id try to make plans with her. For now, focus on your goals and always be looking to meet and add new plates.

 

[Uncharted]

You have oneitis and are outcome dependent. Spin more plates and find other girls. Everything TheException told you is spot on.

 

[jay07]

Eh i got plates but i miss the gf aspect i guess. Someone to stroke my weg all the time.

I see what you guys aee sayin tho. Probably lost interest ill just wait til she hits me up. Thank god i posted here before doin it.

 

[nismo-4]

Your princess is in another castle and knows she has you.

AFAIC going back to an ex is backpedaling. I ditched all my exes back in Louisiana and haven't looked back at any of them.

If a woman's interest goes south, go ghost. If she throws out mixed signals, go ghost.

Spinning more plates and dropping this girl is the best thing that is for you.

Case closed. Exit stage left.

 

[VladPatton]

Nothing good will ever come from hooking back u p with an ex. She knows you one way, and for you to of done a complete mental overhaul and be a DJ and game here will just cause bad vibes between the two of you. She wants the old you back, she gets a newer, colder version, she pulls back, you go AFC, she gets the upper hand, you wonder what went wrong, and it all becomes a mess.

Keep your exes exes.

 

[zinc4]

you should never go back with your ex.....especially in your case when your every action is stemming from insecurity...

however, you did and now you are straight up playing games...that is not being alpha or manly or whatever you want to call it...it is acting out of insecurity and manipulation...honestly, from the sounds of it, you could have pulled her back in and then have her reeling after you by keeping your IL slightly lower than hers after first being upfront and natural with her for a while....the way you did it was way too abrupt and not natural...and she can sense it...now you just look even more AFC than in the first place.....only this time you are a game playing AFC...even worse..now she likely sees you as a very insecure person in general....at least hold your head high and go NC and move on and get some plates...

but once again you broke a cardinal rule in the first place..never get back with your ex.....i hope you can learn a lesson from this and not go back with an ex......also you can learn that it doesn't pay off to play games in a relationship...all you have to do is simply be natural and secure and not be needy or clingy or scared of losing her...