Checking IL and making her reject you...

[golf299]

there's this girl i was kind of seeing. her IL was SKY-HIGH for about a month. she would call multiple times a day, etc. we went out quite a few times. then, suddenly and unexplainably, her IL died.

so, what did i do? i called her up today and said, "hey xxx hope your weekened is going well. i was looking at my schedule for next week and it looks like monday is going to be the best day for me to take you out. i'm just thinking something low-key, nothing like the two-day event that happened last time. (last time i took her on a date it wound up lasting 2 days because we had to come back the next day b/c the place closed). so, if you're interested let me know. and if you're not interested, let me know that too. just don't leave me hanging!"

what do you guys think? should this help cut the crap and get her either:

a: to admit she's no longer interested

b: get her back out on a date with me

thanks!

 

[italostud]

Hmmm you sounded kind of desperate at the end of the message. If her IL *is* dropping, like you assume, that message is not going to help matters. It's push/pull man. She's pulling away and you're starting to push. Stop, let her contact you, do other things and keep yourself busy.

 

[golf299]

that's what i had been doing...i stopped contacting her for almost 2 weeks. just last week she started contacting me again. she started calling multiple times a day again and texting... i thought this should be my next step because i had given her the space she seemed to have wanted...

 

[italostud]

Originally posted by golf299
that's what i had been doing...i stopped contacting her for almost 2 weeks. just last week she started contacting me again. she started calling multiple times a day again and texting... i thought this should be my next step because i had given her the space she seemed to have wanted...

Right...and now she...stopped again? Doesn't sound like she's very into you at all. Plus you're letting her dictate the relationship. Don't let her do that. If she was into you, she wouldn't keep disappearing for weeks at a time.

 

[golf299]

she didn't disappear for weeks at a time. her contact had been getting less frequent, then she went home for springbreak. last week was our first week back and she did start contacting me again.

my goal is simply to find out if she's interested or not. i'm not into waiting around for someone, and this has been bugging me so i need it to conclude one way or the other.

 

[italostud]

Originally posted by golf299
she didn't disappear for weeks at a time. her contact had been getting less frequent, then she went home for springbreak. last week was our first week back and she did start contacting me again.

my goal is simply to find out if she's interested or not. i'm not into waiting around for someone, and this has been bugging me so i need it to conclude one way or the other.

Okay, but you said that currently, her contact is slowing down right? Doesn't that give you you're answer?

 

[golf299]

i'd like to get flat out rejected rather than guessing what the girl's thinking. if she denies my request for a date with her, then i'll get the hint.

i just want her to say that she's no longer interested if that's the case.

 

[italostud]

Originally posted by golf299
i'd like to get flat out rejected rather than guessing what the girl's thinking. if she denies my request for a date with her, then i'll get the hint.

i just want her to say that she's no longer interested if that's the case.

Just keep bugging her and calling her then, if you really want her to tell you the truth.

 

[golf299]

my plan is this:

if she accepts: take her out, kiss her and see how she reacts.

if she does not accept: simply tell her that i now know where she and i stand and that if she wants to go out in the future, she should feel free to contact me.

 

[italostud]

Originally posted by golf299
my plan is this:

if she accepts: take her out, kiss her and see how she reacts.

if she does not accept: simply tell her that i now know where she and i stand and that if she wants to go out in the future, she should feel free to contact me.

No no and no. For the love of god don't say "i now know where she and i stand and that if she wants to go out in the future, she should feel free to contact me." Don't you have any other prospects at the moment?

 

[golf299]

indeed i do have other prospects.

i just want her to be aware that i won't be trying to contact her anymore, and that if she wants to spend time together, she should contact me. what's wrong with that?

 

[dearsappho]

You sound desperate m8. Admit it. This girl doesnt give a ****. Then move on.

If she wanted you then she'd be with you but shes not.

Ultimatums are for *****s.

 

[christz]

i'm confused, the girl stopped calling you and all that, and now she is again and you wanna see if this increase in contact is a sign that she's into you again?

 

[golf299]

christz: yeah, pretty much

after thinking about it some more, it does sound kind of desperate. i'm going to do my best to forget this girl. i probably won't answer her call if/when she calls and just move on.

 

[golf299]

UPDATE

well, it worked... she texted me this afternoon saying that she wouldnt be able to make it tomorrow--she's done. NEXT!