"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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check out these MREs

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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shagnscoob

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I imagine a lot of those calories are empty.
 

organizedconfusion

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I think they are mostly high in simple starches, complex carbs with a moderate ammount of protein.The 3600 calorie food bars..now those are empty calories lol
 

DarthJuan

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My brother's in the Army and he brought back a bunch of boxes of MRE's.
I tore threw a lot of them (too lazy to cook anything).
Some of the meals taste kinda okay. Most taste reeeeaaaally bad.
But they're kinda fun to eat.

I'm not sure what the nutritional content is, but I imagine you'd get pretty fat if you didn't work out constantly. As I imagine they design these for very active servicemen out in the field.

As a hard gainer that put on 35lbs, I'd steer clear of this stuff.

If you're just looking to put on bad weight, you can load up on those 7-eleven Bomb Burritos
http://www.dietfacts.com/html/items/34488.htm
Before I started to eat clean, I loaded up on those and packed on a bunch of weight.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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