Chatting With an HB 9

[Ice882]

Hey guys, I was just having this conversation and I was laughing my ass off the whole time. I thought you guys might get a kick out of it, too. Also, she's a textbook example of a sh1t tester -- you can see that here and see how I dealt with it.

Olivia

n---------

wtf is wrong with you
6:34pmMe

chilllllll

nothing
6:34pmOlivia

no im just really confused
6:34pmMe

i'm just joking
6:35pmOlivia

....

ok

well i was speaking highly of you today

dont make me regret it
6:35pmMe

lol

are you threatening me??
6:36pmOlivia

yes
6:37pmMe

how will you be making me regret my playful ribbing?
6:38pmOlivia

talking **** obvs
6:39pmMe

oh ****

MY REP!!!

NO

i'll send you a gift basket and a hand-knitted sweater in the mail
6:39pmOlivia

you just quoted something

im not sure what

and i hate you
6:40pmMe

this is a lot like that time i got in a fight with a waitress at IHOP
6:41pmOlivia

what are you implying
6:41pmMe

nothing it just reminds me
6:41pmOlivia

oh well...

thats nice

are you high
6:41pmMe

i mean not really

what is high really
6:42pmOlivia

so you are
6:42pmMe

lol

i'll take your word over mine

supposedly my judgement is impaired
6:43pmOlivia

theres not question about it
6:44pmMe

do you wanna hear the story about the IHOP waitress fight?
6:44pmOlivia

YES
6:44pmMe

i sent my pancakes back cuz they werent round enough

3 times

and on the 3rd time she told me no and get out
6:45pmOlivia

youre the best
6:45pmMe

and i just laughed my ass off

so she got the manager

and he was a portly gentleman

so i laughed harder

and my party was asked to leave
6:45pmOlivia

.......
6:45pmMe

but i wouldnt leave
6:46pmOlivia

who were you with
6:46pmMe

------, my brother, and this kid named sam
6:46pmOlivia

i know none of those humans
6:46pmMe

ur missing out

anyway i wouldnt leave

i was just standing in the foyer

greeting customers

welcome to ihop dont ask for round pancakes
6:47pmOlivia

I LOVE YOU

oh my god

this is hilarious

you're going in my favorite quotes on facebook

right now
6:48pmMe

so this adult black male named chuck comes out

at first i though to join me

but i was mistaken

he told me he was 6'4 250 and that if i didnt leave right away i was gonna get a beating and a lifetime ban

so i patted him on the shoulder and turned and quarter speed jogged my way out
6:49pmOlivia

youre hilarious

what were you on
6:50pmMe

drunk

i was on drunk

Olivia

.........

i hate you

you drunk slut
6:52pmMe

dont ever drink natty light its a waste of your time

its for people who enjoy the taste of piss

but dont wanna get drunk
6:52pmOlivia

thanks n--------

you're so wise
6:53pmMe

my brother told me that

i've never had natty light

ok time to get the jitters out and have dinner with the fam

wish me luck babe

adios



----------------------

LMAO

 

[Ice882]

I guess this would be considered an "FR" or "Field Report"

lol

 

[Ice882]

UPDATE:

Olivia

SO

how was last night
4:29pmMe

dinner was pretty successful
4:29pmOlivia

explain
4:29pmMe

i burst out laughing when i was asked to pass the noodles

inexplicably
4:30pmOlivia

wtf
4:30pmMe

i was high
4:30pmOlivia

no **** son

who did you smoke with
4:31pmMe

c------- p-----------
4:31pmOlivia

uhhhhhhh

i dont know him

but thats neat
4:31pmMe

lol

he graduated this year
4:31pmOlivia

oh awk...

now i feel bad

but i still dont know who he is
4:32pmMe

its k his feeling arent hurt

i went to the grocery store last night

and when i was paying i swiped my card in at least 4 directions before i got it write

*right
4:33pmOlivia

hahahhha

youre hilarious
4:34pmMe

idk what to say to the girl

i just gave her a giant grin lol

and said oops
4:35pmOlivia

hahahah

was she like wtf
4:36pmMe

she told me i was cute lol

but she was like...28 maybe
4:36pmOlivia

uhhh

awk

and illegal
4:36pmMe

its so uncomfortable she flirts with me and my brother

and she's been working at the grocery store for like 4 years
4:37pmOlivia

what a townie
4:37pmMe

lol

i found something terrible out today
4:38pmOlivia

what
4:38pmMe

i may have isolated myself from all viable ihop locations

cuz there was only 1 within 40 minutes of me

and i cant go back right now

where the **** am i gonna get my stuffed french toast
4:39pmOlivia

why cant you go back
4:40pmMe

there are some sore feelings
4:44pmOlivia

oh right

thats really too bad

ive never been to ihop
4:46pmMe

i'll take you when things cool off

best place
4:46pmOlivia

aight

youre taking me in september

just to let you know

so i suggest that you fix things by then
4:47pmMe

aight

i'll see what i can do to patch things up with chuck
4:48pmOlivia

good
4:48pmMe

k i'm gonna go to the gym

peace babe
4:49pmOlivia

bye

 

[Ice882]

Hey guys, so I talked to her again tonight. PLEASE take a look, ESPECIALLY at the part I put in red. Correct me if I'm wrong but that was a CLASSIC sh!t test, right? She was testing to see how interested/possessive of her I was? Do you think I handled it right? PLEASE respond!

Me
so i'm at the gym today
*****es aint **** comes up on shuffle on my ipod dock
its loud
i go out to get a drink
door open, music spills out into hallway
i'm directly below a children's theater performance.
SEVERAL parents give me a frowny face.
11:48pmOlivia
hahahhahha
<3<3 your life

11:49pmMe
i'm also shirtless with a beater tied around my head

11:49pmOlivia
hahahahahah
the best
11:49pmMe
idk if i've ever run back towards a door faster
the soundtrack to the rest of my work out was some nice quiet jazz

11:50pmOlivia
no it wasnt

11:50pmMe
ur right it was gangsta rap
but it was quieter

11:50pmOlivia
cute
OK
so
my chapel is in september which means i have to get my **** together like....now....
and i need to play rap
but
i cant find any that doesnt say nigga ***** or mo****aa like every other word
and its SUCH a problem

11:52pmMe
lol
clean versions are available on itunes

11:52pmOlivia
not of the good ones
i dont want ****ing jamin 94.5 ****
i want the good stuff

11:53pmMe
if i hear that ****ing billionaire song one more time...

11:53pmOlivia
I WILL KILL MYSELF

11:53pmMe
yes.
so what are you looking for
anything specific

11:54pmOlivia
uhhhh
not really

11:55pmMe
well my whole itunes library got deleted
so i cant think of anything
that isnt ****ty jason derulo

11:56pmOlivia
hahahha
im inclined to play this song that you wont like

11:56pmMe
....

11:56pmOlivia
.......

11:57pmMe
....gonna finish your sentence babe?

11:57pmOlivia
i was finished

11:57pmMe
oh so you want to play jason derulo
thats fine
i'll just skip school that day

11:58pmOlivia
I SAID IM INCLINE TO PLAY THIS SONG THAT I DONT LIKE

11:58pmMe
mmmm scroll ip
*up

11:58pmOlivia
i dont get it
but ok

11:59pmMe
w/e were past it
how bout kid cudi

11:59pmOlivia
ehhh
idk
ok
if i send you a link to a song
DONT TELL ANYONE THAT I MIGHT USE IT
and dont be to harsh
if you dont like it

Today
12:00amMe
ok

12:00amOlivia
i bet youve heard it
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ibWbexkGls

12:01amMe
curren$y's my ****

12:01amOlivia
obviously
and sammy adams is my ideal man
so.... i feel like i kind of have to play it
or is it too mainstream...

12:02amMe
nah
its got a fresh beat
this is something i'd wanna listen to early in the morning

12:02amOlivia
aight good

12:03amMe
its pretty clean too

12:03amOlivia
yeah i think it says **** once
i'll figure out how to fix it somehow

12:03amMe
word

12:04amOlivia
its really too bad that i cant play dont make me beg by kottonmouth kings
but i dont think anyone would appreciate that early in the morning
or at all for that matter

12:04amMe
hahahaha
only if you got some people to rave on stage

12:05amOlivia
HAVE YOU HEARD THE LYRICS
i would be expelled on the spot
hahaha

12:05amMe
unless ------ started wilin

12:05amOlivia
t0t3$

12:06amMe
no u'd get ruined

12:06amOlivia
hahahha yeah i told you

12:06amMe
i just looked up the lyrics

12:06amOlivia
pretty ****ing sexual if you ask me
sex out south would get me kicked out as well

12:07amMe
lol hahaha
so many uncomfortable faces

12:08amOlivia
like actually

12:09amMe
what ------------ would describe as "smut"

12:09amOlivia
SHES SAID THAT BEFORE???

12:09amMe
erryday
she walked in while i was playing music in the comp lab
"turn that smut off"

12:10amOlivia
HAHAHAHHHAH
shut up
thats hilarious
i have a serious question
...........or at least semi serious

12:11amMe
ask away

12:13amOlivia
how bad is it to hook up with a guy with a girlfriend

12:13amMe
dont worry about it i'm single

12:14amOlivia
hahahha hate you

12:15amMe
lol no its kind of scrub
but only like 4 out of 10

12:16amOlivia
what do you mean

12:17amMe
if ur in a relationship and you cheat
you suck pretty hard
like 8/10 minimum
but if you're the one they cheat with
thats their failing not yours
and ur kind of a scrub for encouraging it and being selfish
but its not as bad

12:18amOlivia
thats what i thought
and like what if hes the one initiating

12:19amMe
i'm not the person to come to for this babe
talk to -------- about it

12:20amOlivia
no
DONT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THIS TO ANYONE
and dont worry the person doesnt go to ----------
and i also havent done anything yet

12:21amMe
dont

12:21amOlivia
ok
i wont
hes already cheated on her like 239309 million times though

12:22amMe
i feel bad for her

12:22amOlivia
yeah
shes pretty
and really nice
i met her once
idk why he would cheat on her
shes such a dime

12:23amMe
there's a saying for such situations
but it'll have to wait
i have a long day of getting swole ahead of me
also, getting my paper right

12:24amOlivia
what?
you make no sense

12:24amMe
lol i have to work tomorrow and work out
sry i'm mad hood

12:25amOlivia
right
how could i forget

12:26amMe
idk maybe my ****ing argyle sweater threw you off the trail for a sec
12:27amMe
anyway i gotta go sleep
cya babe

12:27amOlivia
PEAAAAAAAAACE

 

[MikeBrown30]

Please don't post stuff like this again unless it is in cliff note form, no way will I or anyone else read all of that gibberish.

 

[Ice882]

its really not that hard to read.

 

[BobMo']

There's no point to this post. It's a total waste of bandwidth.

 

[ThePrize]

It was a good read Ice. The text convo is pretty good and it seems to me your having fun and thats what its about right.

Maybe that one time you said "don't" was slightly AFC of you, but don't worry about it.

 

[Igetit!]

Well I hate to say this Ice,but it appears that you may have just become the lastest victim of the friendzone as DJ Hero mentioned.


As I read over your convos with this girl,I kept waiting and waiting and waiting for SOMETHING out of you that would create some type of interest in her....and not only that,but I was waiting for you to show your interest as well.


It never happened.


That line you gave her about you being single when she asked you about hooking up with someone else's boyfriend.....ok I admit,that was a good comeback . It was good,but it was weak. It was almost as if you were trying to toss some hint at her hoping she'd get it and be interested.



I assume you'd like to date this girl. Well if so,then why didn't THAT SUBJECT ever come up?


You talked about pancakes at IHOP,gangster music,itunes,etc,but nothing about YOU and HER.



She even talked to YOU about hooking up with some other guy.

Now listen:when a girl talks DIRECTLY TO YOU about having interest in someone else,your goose is cooked my friend.



You see the type of guy she's interest in. She HERSELF said that this guy has cheated on his girlfriend "like 239309 million times",and now here she is CONSIDERING being the NEXT GIRL he cheats with.



I swear women are a trip. She just got finished saying how good and sweet this guy's girlfriend is and how she can't see why he'd cheat on her ALL THE WHILE thinking about cheating with the dude herself,and saying that she hasn't done anything with him....YET.



The whole conversation about her and this OTHER guy should NEVER HAVE EVEN CAME UP.



She basically asked for your advice concerning hooking up with other guys!
She was trying to get you to HELP HER OUT in her effort to fool around with another man.


That's not what you want. You want her to want to "hook up" with YOU. If she's talking to you about other guys,hey...I'm sorry man,but that's friendzone.

 

[amoka]

Ice, did you copy and paste text from your phone? Because it took me a long while to know exactly who is saying what. Make it more clean next time. eg
Ice: "....."
Olivia:"..................".

 

[Ice882]

hmm...ok. I interpreted it another way. She has already agreed we'll go to IHOP in september (she lives far away but boards at my school, earliest we can do it). She was like "I've never been to IHOP before" which I saw as a total opening since it came out of the blue basically, and I said, "I'll take you." That might, unfortunately, be a little like Maxtro's "75% sure" business... but I thought it was pretty solid.

When she brought up the other guy... I was pretty sure he didn't exist. She was very careful to say:

a) DONT TELL ANYONE ABOUT THIS
b) he doesn't go to our school
c) she hasn't done anything yet

it seemed to me like she was asking me to render an imaginary verdict, so she could measure my interest. That's what I saw as a "sh1t test".

I tried to deflect it...make a comeback...say I wasn't the person to talk to...eventually I rendered my verdict: "don't" and she immediately said "okay, I won't". To me that seems like she was waiting with baited breath to see if I would indirectly "declare my interest for her."

What do you think about that?

EDIT: I also thought she was trying to make me jealous

 

[Ice882]

Ice, did you copy and paste text from your phone? Because it took me a long while to know exactly who is saying what. Make it more clean next time. eg
Ice: "....."
Olivia:"..................".

sorry guys. I guess it is hard to read. My bad, I'll condense.

 

[Exhumed]

The other guy does exist and you're clearly in the friend zone, and you're seeing attraction where there clearly isn't any. There will be some type of flirting; there was none here. At all.

Follow DJ Hero's advice or if she has cute friends, use her to meet them.

You should try to spin almost every text with a girl as her flirting with you, or tease her about something, or make some kind of implication about the two of you hooking up, make it sexual. Keep most of your texts fairly short. And when you meet up with her in person, be the same person you were in the texts. I'm not an expert with women but flirting through text was the first thing I learned; you don't have to worry about body language or tone or reacting immediately and you have some room to be creative and set up role-playing and whatnot.

 

[teacha]

dude you joked about everything else except sex..WTF

PS. great conversation btw but make it sexual next time (in a joking way) & see how she reacting to it.

 

[nismo-4]

TL;DR!

But since you PM'd me about this, here's what I found. Judge nismo-4 will list your guilty sentences before he renders his verdict for your ass.

1. You didn't put any sex talk in there. FRIEND!
2. You interviewed her. BORING!
3. You told her everything that happened in your day. NO MYSTERY!
4. You didn't flirt. PLAYING THE GIRL'S ROLE!

There is no attraction here at all so you will be flown to Neversex, Delaware. While there, you need to become more flirty, use push-pull techniques, and become more mysterious. Work on those things because you are in the friendzone.

Thanks for requesting me to take this case, but your princess is in another castle!

Case closed.

 

[EA Gold]

*Thread Closed*

 

[Ice882]

we'll see.

 

[Igetit!]

hmm...ok. I interpreted it another way. She has already agreed we'll go to IHOP in september (she lives far away but boards at my school, earliest we can do it).

So she agreed to "go out" with you,or that is go to the IHOP with you in a month,really more like a month and a half from when the plan was made.


So what do you think she'll be doing in the meanwhile until September arrives?


My guess is that she'll be hanging around that other guy,the one she IS CONSIDERING "hooking up" with. If you'll remember,she said that this guy was the one initiating the two of the fooling around.

Well how can he do that unless she keeps being around him?

She was like "I've never been to IHOP before" which I saw as a total opening since it came out of the blue basically, and I said, "I'll take you." That might, unfortunately, be a little like Maxtro's "75% sure" business... but I thought it was pretty solid.

Well the comment she made about never being to Ihop before could be viewed as an IOI,however,it really depends on the context in which it was used. It could have been an IOI,or she could just simply had never been to Ihop like she said.

When she brought up the other guy... I was pretty sure he didn't exist.

Uhhhh....I think you're kinda reach out too far with this one Ice. I don't think she was making this up. You say she's an HB9,right? Well I'm sure there's somebody else trying to date her other than you.

She was very careful to say:

a) DONT TELL ANYONE ABOUT THIS

The "DONT TELL ANYONE ABOUT THIS" comment is simple.....

She doesn't want to look like a slvt. She was talking to you about possibly fooling around with ANOTHER GIRL'S BOYFRIEND. If a girl does that,and she's KNOWN to do that sort of thing,she'll be labeled a "ho",or a slvt.


She didnt want you to tell anyone about that because if it gets out that she was even considering doing it,she'll be looked down upon. That,plus she doesn't want to hurt this guy's girlfriend.


She still wants to sleep with the dude,she just wants everything to be on the down-low in secret so the girlfriend won't get hurt,and she doesn't get label a tramp.

it seemed to me like she was asking me to render an imaginary verdict, so she could measure my interest. That's what I saw as a "sh1t test".

Uhh...no Ice,you might want to go back and review that chapter covering "sh1t tests".



If you had CLEARLY made your interest known to her,then she might had started tossing out some tests to you,but not now.


I didn't see her talking about this other guy as a test at all. To me,it seemed more like a girl gossiping and confiding with one of her girlfriends.

I tried to deflect it...make a comeback...say I wasn't the person to talk to...

Yeah,I noticed that. I could tell that you noticed that things were headed in the wrong direction,and that you attempted to get things back on track.


The problem is this though.....

When you see that things are headed in the wrong direction,usually when you finally notice this,it's TOO LATE.



It's like starting out on a long trip,and you drive 50 miles before you noticed that you're headed the wrong way. So you stop and turn around.


The good news is that you're now headed in the right direction.
That bad news is that you have to travel 50 miles just to start at the beginning.


You have to go 50 miles just to start from zero. This other guy is already MILES ahead. You're talking about Ihop and round pancakes,while this other guy is INITIATING SEX with this girl.

eventually I rendered my verdict: "don't" and she immediately said "okay, I won't".

And you think she won't simply because she told you she wouldn't?

Come on now Ice,you've been here long enough to know better than that.


It's not like the guy showed interest in her once,then it was over with. If that were the case,she wouldn't have been walking around mulling this over in her mind and asking others (you) for your opinions.


And if he's shown interest in her more than once,then SHE'S BEEN AROUND HIM more than once.

To me that seems like she was waiting with baited breath to see if I would indirectly "declare my interest for her."

This is called "wishful thinking". I'm not saying she's not interested,I'm just saying that you need some concrete evidence before you make assumptions like that.

EDIT: I also thought she was trying to make me jealous

Why?

If she was trying to make you jealous and it had worked,she wouldn't date you. If you're expressing emotions to a girl that you haven't even had a single date with yet,it's game over.


Like you said,we'll see,but at the moment,all signs point to you being friiendzoned.

 

[Ice882]

I confirmed that it was a date and she has responded playfully/positively to sexual innuendo.