Chat up disasters

[Dirtheart]

Another thread where perhaps we can share some of our worst chat up experiences to indicate what doesn't work or just for a laugh.

A couple spring to mind for me:

I was talking to a girl in a bar for an hour and things were going very well. She said to me "This is such an interesting conversation, I'm glad we got talking". I replied, "Yeah, whatever it takes to get you into bed".

I sincerely meant it as a joke and nothing more, but she took offence. I told her it wasn't meant seriously, but she insisted it was a hint disguised as a joke and said she'd never sleep with a guy who had a one-track mind. Oh well.


Another disaster was when I was talking to a girl at work while smoking. She was *****ing about this arrogant girl we knew and I kind of switched off and just kept agreeing. At one point I said "I see what your saying" and she just lowered her head, excused herself and went inside.

A woman who was smoking next to us and had overheard us speaking said to me "That was tactless of you". I asked her what I did wrong and she explained that the girl was fishing for a compliment and had just said "I don't think anyone could find me attractive" and I had agreed.

Worse still, instead of apologising and letting it be known I found her attractive, I said nothing about it. She must have thought I was real cold.

 

[Don of Truth]

Live and learn.

 

[AlwaysExcel]

LOL! That reminds me of a time I wasn't chatting up a girl but I was talking to this acquaintance. He was telling me about his travels and I kept responding "That's cool." Well then he told me that he got his ass kicked and was thrown in jail. You can guess how I responded! He busted me on it and was like "Hell no it wasn't! The **** are you talking about?" LOL!

 

[chalk]

this weekend just gone although it wasn't really a chat up disaster, more of a c0ck block disaster.

i decided to try and chat to this girl on the dance floor, she was with 4 friends and there was a couple of guys around them. mistake one.. and i should have learnt from previous lessons, its hard to just go up and make a connection with a girl in this situation, i should have played into it a bit but i just went straight up to her and tried to get her attention, this is when i get shooed away by her friend. Now, i can take getting rejected, and i can understand girls not wanting to get hit on, that s FINE by me, but this B1TCH started shooing me away like i was a fly trying to eat sh1t off her face or a rabid dog about to piss on her leg, it made me frigin MAD that she wasn't even being the slightest bit nice about it, so after a bit of that and her telling me to f-off I said to her...

"Can i smell your c*nt?"

"No!!" she replied

So i said "well it must be your feet then!!" and walked off (heard that from here somewhere - pure genius!)

next thing i know some random guy's shoving me and im almost getting into a fight with her boyfriend/bodyguard.

total disaster but funny as hell, i've always wanted to use that line

 

[Dirtheart]

Since thinking more on this, I realise there have been too many times when I must've seemed like a real cold-hearted son of a b*tch - not to mention the opportunities I missed.

There was a time I literally couldn't take any kind of hint, or I was too afraid of rejection to act on it. Some examples (I fancied all of these girls a lot btw):

One girl offered to come to my house with a bottle of wine to celebrate my birthday. I replied "I don't drink wine".

Perhaps the most attractive girl I have ever met in my life was hitting on me all day. She said she didn't have a boyfriend but was looking. She put her hand on my knee and added "...waiting for the right person to ask". I got really tense before replying "I'm sure you'll meet someone".

Another girl invited me back to her house one night and I replied "I don't want to miss Friends".

Worst AFC move I can ever remember (possibly one of the worst in history). A very attractive girl invited me to her house after work and I responded "I can't, my mum will have dinner ready for me". (No joke, I actually said that and I was 21 years old!)

So, as you can see, I was a severely messed up AFC of the worst kind. And I even had the audacity to ask myself "Why do I never get lucky with women?"

 

[Tails]

i missed out on alot when i was young. for instance, a girl at the public library that i only just met was talking to me about her boobs saying it was bigger than her friends' boobs and i was about to leave. she grabs my house keys and shoves it down her top. she told me to get it if i wanted to go home. i never did. eventually she gave it back and i left. that wasn't the first time i met her either mind you. i just didn't have it in me to even play their games. i never knew there was a game to play.

 

[Tweek_1984]

I fell in love with this girl at school a few years back. I'm still sure she was my soul mate.

Anyways, I was at school (aged around 15 at the time) and it was break time. Anyways, this particular girl came up to me. Soon a pretty big crowd drew round us for some odd reason I didn't understand at the time. There must have been about 20/30 crowding around us when she popped the question:

'Tweek, will you go out with me?'

My response....................

'No'.

The crowds response: 'Oh god, tweek wtf!, that's so unfair'

I swear, I wake up in the middle of the night years later just thinking about that little scenario. No wonder she went off with a popular rugby player who was a couple of years older than me.

 

[TurboLover]

Wiped my face and said "say it don't spray it." She said I that was really rude and left. Hehe

 

[bob2007]

Originally posted by Dirtheart


Another girl invited me back to her house one night and I replied "I don't want to miss Friends".

lol thats hilarious.

My worse was when this girl's best friend asked me if I liked the girl I liked - I said no.

 

[R3N3G4D3]

In 9th grade, during gym class this really attractive girl came up to me and asked "Hi, what's your name?"

I reply "Alex" without even turning towards her, and without asking her what's hers or anything. She stands there for a few seconds looking at me waiting for me to do something and I can't figure out why in the world she's staring at me, then she just walks off.

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

Hahaha you guys are hilarious!

 

[Life-Trainee]

Aight, i'll share my pathetic social ineptness as well. In 8th or 9th grade my female friend jokingly referred to her friend (whom I just met for the first time!) as my girlfriend. That day I walked home happily thinking that I finally got a girlfriend!!! I didn't even talk to her friend besides hi!!

 

[Dirtheart]

LOL! I remember asking a girl out and feeling really pleased when she accepted. I was so pleased she was my girlfriend, but during this time I never actually spoke to her at all, except a month later when I saw her in the street I asked "Do you still want to be my girlfriend?" She said yes, I said "cool" and just walked away and spent the day with my mate.

 

[willo]

In year 9 some mates convinced me that some girl would feel really bad if she didn't get a valentines, so being a massive AFC i said i'd write her one even though i thought she was repulsive. Anyway I wrote it on a sheet of exercise book paper and spelt her name wrong; lol never lived that down.

 

[diablo]

Back in 8th grade, I had a huge crush on one girl... I asked her out by the gym area, next to a pay phone booth. She said no, and I then proceeded to ask every single girl I laid eyes upon (that was remotely attractive) to be my girlfriend... All of them said no - then I'll remember what the last one said... "I would have said yes, but you asked everyone else out so it must not mean anything."

Not that it did.

 

[S0LID]

u shoulda blagged ya way through that!

 

[Ballistik]

I gotta say, Dirtheart's easily got the worst ones so far.....

My worst would probably be while I was talking to a girl who was wearing a hat. It was just a normal baseball cap, with her hair out the back in a short ponytail, but she was lying on a couch and I couldn't actually see the ponytail. Well, she mentioned that she didn't like blonde guys very much, and seeing as I thought I had seen her earlier and noticed brown hair, I said, "Wow, a girl that thinks like me. I definitely go for brunettes and redheads more than blondes."

I'll give you three guesses what her hair color really was, but you'll only need one....