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Chastity and the Hamster

Colossus

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I had a discussion the other day with a very close female friend of mine on virginity. I posted on this topic earlier this summer, and I've found myself having to explain what exactly I find so appealing in a virgin female. I thought it was self-explanatory, but the rationalization hamster running on his eternal wheel is strong.

My current girlfriend had no partners before me. I've told a few friends, and to my surprise was met with more mire than merit. So during one of our regular gchat sessions, my female friend asked me to articulate to her what exactly made this virgin girl so much more valuable than the other girls I have dated. Sensing a dead-end debate ending in hurt feelings, I tried to choose my words carefully so that the friendship could be preserved but the factual truth remained delivered.

In essence I told her that to a Man, there is inherent value in a female who has never been had. She is not only biologically sound (no question of cuckoldry or false parentage, no risk of STI's), but emotionally there is little to no baggage stemming from past relationships. There has never been a cohabitation, which predicts marital dissolution, and there are no mental comparisons or longings for the buffet of other men's sperm she frequented in college. There is also emotional ownership. Virgins have a demonstrated higher propensity for bonding than their more phallic-experienced counterparts. They are more likely to be sexually loyal. In effect, she is a blank slate from an emotional and sexual point of view. There is no dilution of her physical femininity.

Her response was actually predictable, being that she has had, I would estimate, around 15 partners herself (I have known her for 8 years). In detailing the positives of youth and virginity I was indirectly diminishing her own sexual marketplace value. I got the pat responses: "why would you want someone so inexperienced" (that's the point), "she's going to go crazy and cheat on you now that you've awakened her sexual desire" (appealing to fear as a red herring against real value), "you are putting her on a pedestal because she is a virgin" (a valid point, but there is a difference between designating superior value in a market and outright pedestalization).

The conversation then turned to her own insecurities: "You are basically describing real love and devotion, non-virgins are capable of that" (debatable, but less likely with increasing partner count), "I wonder what I would be/feel like if I had saved myself" (transl: I kinda wish I had saved myself), "I cant imagine what it would be like to be this age and still a virgin" (resignation and a valid point of the possibility of some neurosis at more advanced ages of chastity).


This is not meant to belittle or highlight anything negative about my friend. Her sexual past has zero bearing on our friendship. It does, however have a bearing on her SMV, although not to the point she couldn't find a good man. This is more a function of age and beauty than anything else. She is a great girl, and I of all people am no one to judge based on past indiscretions. But that doesn't mean I cant select those with none :D

All in all it was an enlightening discussion on how age, beauty, and sexual purity are the principal factors in a woman's SMV and her ability to garner a high value, dominant, dare I say more alpha male. Of course, alpha/beta is a very relative spectrum, but all women have the innate desire to hypergamize.

Women are ACUTELY aware of their depreciating assets, even if not in a conscious, cognitive sense. It is a primary source of social shaming, and lesser males (AFCs and common blue-pillers) fall into mating with lesser females (the ego-centric, quasi-feminist, common western ore), making awareness of this phenomenon critical for the red pill man in mate selection. First, augment your own value and acquire skills, currency, and experience. Second, utilize your higher bargaining power to select younger, more beautiful, feminine and submissive females. Leave the rest for the herbs.
 

samspade

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"Chastity and the Hamster" - I think I had that children's book back in the day. :crackup:

Seriously, though, you make some great points - and I commend you on your soft delivery to your friend. Deep down, all women understand the value of virginity, but the hamster in them (and the indoctrination) tells them to eschew it. Nevertheless, even teen girls who get their cherries pop usually want it to be "special." Sure, that's a shyt test, but that's the whole point of shyt tests.

But that doesn't mean I cant select those with none.
This here is the mother of all moves, and it's silent. I know you and I agree on this and have talked about it here many times. Men can attempt to shame, complain, rationalize, or grudgingly accept women who don't meet their personal qualifications. But only by selecting for and against do you truly send a message. It seems ineffective because it's a drop in the bucket. But in the SMV every little transaction adds up. This is really the true, unrealized power of the modern man. He is not in a feminist-made prison so long as he can choose the right women to surround himself with. Heck, the right PEOPLE to surround himself with.

I could often sense a seething undercurrent among other women because of my then-wife's enthusiastic acceptance of, for instance, more traditional female roles, and her polite, demure demeanor. (And some jealousy from other guys.) It suited me fine and I didn't care what if other women thought she wasn't living up to the US feminist gold standard. It taught me a lot about what I am willing to accept from a female in a long term situation, and to ignore the shaming of others.
 

5string

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A great post and I gree with eveything. Insightful.

Another perspective though. I have to admit personally, that I would not wish to become exclusive with a "pure" woman. Why? Once you start sleeping with her and awaken her desires, do you not think she will wonder what else is out there and wish to experiment with a few other guys? She will always wonder what if. Men are the same way, once you sleep with one woman, you will want to sleep with others just to test the waters.

Therefore, I would rather become exclusive with a gal who has been with a few men and is no longer tempted by her curiosoty. I know Mrs.5string has been around a bit but I never ask about it or what the numbers were. Not my business. The only thing I truly care about is that she has been faithful and takes care of me as a wife should, and she does.
 

zekko

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It's interesting that this is a thread about the value of virginity (in a woman). Yet I constantly read here that you shoudn't wait on a woman for sex, that the sex is never worth waiting for, and that if a girl does not put out without 1, 2, or 3 dates, she should be nexted.

Seems like you can't send one message without discrediting the other.
 

samspade

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zekko said:
It's interesting that this is a thread about the value of virginity (in a woman). Yet I constantly read here that you shoudn't wait on a woman for sex, that the sex is never worth waiting for, and that if a girl does not put out without 1, 2, or 3 dates, she should be nexted.

Seems like you can't send one message without discrediting the other.
Depends on what you're looking for.
 

5string

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Social_Leper said:
Just out of interest 5string, where exactly would you draw the line between "experienced" girl and raging slvt? 20 guys? Maybe 40? Threeway?

Evidence would suggest to the contrary. That girls with higher numbers are far more likely to seek extramarital encounters than women with a history of lower or one single sex partner.


Edit:




Zekko, thought i'd try and clarify what I think is meant by this. These messages are not contradictory.

The issue here is one of price discrimination rather than the inherent value in waiting for sex.

If you paid $1000 for a new suit, when the man before paid $100 you have every right to be irritated.

The problem is that she is making you wait when others have not had to and this implies an agenda on her part.
Good question.

By definition, I would be considered a raging slvt simply by the numbers. As far as women go, I really don't have a number which I think would make them a true slvt. Suppose it would depend on the woman and her age, how many LTR's she's had as opposed to casual bathroom sex at the club with anyone with a d!ck. I believe there are varying degrees of slvtiness.

Say for example a woman has been single for 20 yrs and had two guys per year. That's 40. Is she a slvt? In the eye of the beholder me thinks.
 

zekko

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samspade said:
Depends on what you're looking for.
I think you guys are copping out with your answers on this. Obviously if you're looking for a one night stand, you don't want to wait around forever for it. But I don't think that's what you or the OP were talking about.

If you guys are saying virginity is of value in women, isn't it hypocritical to behave in a manner that discourages them from retaining their virginity? Specifically, dumping them if they don't put out?
 

samspade

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zekko said:
I think you guys are copping out with your answers on this. Obviously if you're looking for a one night stand, you don't want to wait around forever for it. But I don't think that's what you or the OP were talking about.

If you guys are saying virginity is of value in women, isn't it hypocritical to behave in a manner that discourages them from retaining their virginity? Specifically, dumping them if they don't put out?
It sounds to me like Colossus picked her lock. He selected a chaste woman, but he didn't have to wait long for it. What's the problem here?

I'm fukking with you a little bit. Virginity is an extreme example. We want our women selective, so long as they select us, right?

For me it's more about the woman's values overall. Jophil once wrote that sooner or later, usually sooner, a female will communicate to you her sexual past and her values. It won't happen overtly. But you will have some idea. From there, it's up to you.

Take a friend of mine. His GF often makes lewd jokes and even alludes to her sexual history in a "funny" way. Nothing over the top, but it makes me uncomfortable to hear it. When they first started dating, within a couple of months, she basically told him she'd worked at a beach resort after college where it was essentially a fukk-fest. He was a little unsettled by that. They ARE still together so I presume he's comfortable with it. But I wouldn't let that fly. I don't care if it's her true past or not. If she's talking about it, it's there. If a woman is making no effort to cover up her slvttiniess, it's not LTR material for me. You could argue that a demure, supposedly chaste woman is keeping her dark past a secret, and I suppose that's a possibility. But unlikely. People talk eventually. All women employ the ASD, but just as phony "alphas" get the curtain pulled back, so do phony maidens.

If most guys had their druthers, when it came time to "settle down" they'd line up ten young virgins and pick the best looking/qualified one. That's how the Tsar used to do it. We don't live in that kind of world, but the market forces are still there. Women carry the precious cargo, and it is up to them how much they choose to devalue it.
 

Colossus

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samspade said:
This here is the mother of all moves, and it's silent. I know you and I agree on this and have talked about it here many times. Men can attempt to shame, complain, rationalize, or grudgingly accept women who don't meet their personal qualifications. But only by selecting for and against do you truly send a message. It seems ineffective because it's a drop in the bucket. But in the SMV every little transaction adds up. This is really the true, unrealized power of the modern man. He is not in a feminist-made prison so long as he can choose the right women to surround himself with. Heck, the right PEOPLE to surround himself with.
Totally agree. I still think the best single thing any man can do to turn the post-feminist tide is to ONLY select positive, feminine, non-cvnty women who believe in male leadership. The thing the rest of the manosphere doesn't realize is that we are perpetuating the problem by pumping and dumping the sub-par westernized fare.

5string said:
Another perspective though. I have to admit personally, that I would not wish to become exclusive with a "pure" woman. Why? Once you start sleeping with her and awaken her desires, do you not think she will wonder what else is out there and wish to experiment with a few other guys? She will always wonder what if. Men are the same way, once you sleep with one woman, you will want to sleep with others just to test the waters.
That's a common misconception, I believe. It sounds plausible on paper, but like Social Leper pointed out, evidence suggests otherwise. Check the study I linked to and the post on Roissy. Is it possible? Sure. If you are sexually satisfying her I think it's unlikely though.

One of these days I am going to do a meta-analysis of all the good data out there looking at fidelity, marital dissolution, and past sexual partners, mostly to disspell the notion that past sexual partner count has no bearing on fidelity and bonding.

zekko said:
If you guys are saying virginity is of value in women, isn't it hypocritical to behave in a manner that discourages them from retaining their virginity? Specifically, dumping them if they don't put out?

I think you are missing the context here. It's about recognizing value. All women are not equal. If they were nothing would be prized. There is a huge difference between waiting a reasonable time for a sexually pure girl of high value, and being MADE to wait on a lesser girl's terms. The distinction lies in value recognition. Being made to wait on some thin pretext of a modern girl's "classiness" is a joke. They are trying to run the show. If the 20 guys before you got their milk for free, why would you buy the cow? It's a community cow. You don't pay a higher price for something of low value.
 

zekko

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Colossus said:
Totally agree. I still think the best single thing any man can do to turn the post-feminist tide is to ONLY select positive, feminine, non-cvnty women who believe in male leadership. The thing the rest of the manosphere doesn't realize is that we are perpetuating the problem by pumping and dumping the sub-par westernized fare.
Agreed, I've long thought that PUAs are rewarding badly behaving women by choosing them for sex.

Colossus said:
That's a common misconception, I believe. It sounds plausible on paper, but like Social Leper pointed out, evidence suggests otherwise. Check the study I linked to and the post on Roissy. Is it possible? Sure. If you are sexually satisfying her I think it's unlikely though..
I think what 5 String is suggesting can and does happen. But as you point out, statistically it is less likely to happen with a virgin. What the actual percentages are, I have no idea.

Colossus said:
I think you are missing the context here. It's about recognizing value. All women are not equal. If they were nothing would be prized. There is a huge difference between waiting a reasonable time for a sexually pure girl of high value, and being MADE to wait on a lesser girl's terms. The distinction lies in value recognition. Being made to wait on some thin pretext of a modern girl's "classiness" is a joke. They are trying to run the show. If the 20 guys before you got their milk for free, why would you buy the cow? It's a community cow. You don't pay a higher price for something of low value.
I'm not talking about "being made to wait" or about girls who put out easily for the last 20 guys. I'm saying, generally speaking, that by delivering the message to women "put out or I'm gone", men are discouraging chastity in women. They're only going to be rewarded with the male's company if they put out.
 

samspade

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zekko said:
I'm not talking about "being made to wait" or about girls who put out easily for the last 20 guys. I'm saying, generally speaking, that by delivering the message to women "put out or I'm gone", men are discouraging chastity in women. They're only going to be rewarded with the male's company if they put out.
I know I used the phrase "send a message" earlier so I'm going to backtrack a bit on my own words. But try not to think about this as sending a message to the woman so much as adhering to your own set of ground rules and what you will be willing to invest. I know we preach not to think "this one's different" about any girl, but there can be a range of time within which to work. This is about the man establishing what's best for him and what will make him happy. There were women I'd invest a few hours in vs. women I'd invest a few weeks in. But I cannot imagine investing more than a month on any woman, virgin or not.

The "message" you then send is that you won't enslave yourself for the eventual payoff of pu$$y.
 

Colossus

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samspade said:
But I cannot imagine investing more than a month on any woman, virgin or not.

The "message" you then send is that you won't enslave yourself for the eventual payoff of pu$$y.
You make a good point that every guy will have his threshold. I cant see going more than a month or two but if I was getting regular BJs I could go for a while, lol.

We're getting kind of semantical here, but "put out or im gone" applies to every man. We all just have different limits. You have to set yours and stick to them.
 

zekko

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I know we're not supposed to have any empathy toward women here, but this is the classic "nice girl" dilemna.

Krissy wants to save herself for marriage, but is dating Alpha Tom from the DJ Forum. She really likes him, but Alpha Tom is not willing to wait. If Krissy won't put out, he will go out with Slvtty Suzy instead. If Krissy wants to hang on to Alpha Tom and not sit at home alone, she's going to have to give it up.

This is okay, I guess. But it seems silly for Alpha Tom to then complain about not being able to find virgin girls anymore, when he is actively engaged in a campaign to stomp them out.

And that's all I've got to say about that.
 

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PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
Flaw in your hypo, a quality girl will avoid a man wh0re that doesn't actually value chaste women.
I thought all women wanted the alpha male, they can't help themselves?
Besides, just because a guy doesn't want to wait for sex, I don't think that makes him a man wh0re necessarily.
 

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Virgins have a demonstrated higher propensity for bonding than their more phallic-experienced counterparts.
I can backup your research. My wife was a virgin when I met her and is completely autonomous meaning she is extremely low maintenance. On the other hand, my previous gf had 7 guys that she told me about. She was always on the prowl for other guys and I had to keep on my toes constantly to make sure she wasn't getting too close to another guy. She ended up cheating on me.

Virginity is priceless.. and leads to a stress free life.

Thanks for posting OP.
 
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