Chaos in LTR: Why a serene LTR will end?

[jhonny9546]

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2m72x0 HI!
I have to mention this speech because I have found many truths in reality, in couples of friends/acquaintances and couples of family members.

Could you explain what it depends on?
Why is it that the more women are treated badly, then immediately well, then badly again, then well again, in short in a loop, they feel better rather than in a state in which they are treated serenely and well by a healthy man?

Almost all couples in which the man treated the woman well, because the man is healthy and not psychopathic, or even beta, have broken up due to lack of "desire" or because "the love is over".

I really don't understand what could be positive in a relationship that has continuous ups and downs like in this case, and that the woman should be dominated, annoyed and sometimes reminded that she is not in a peaceful relationship with us...

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Redpill 101

Try to make your wife happy and she will think she got you bagged and double down with her demands.

Fullfill them as well to make her happy and she will think she must be of higher value because you try so hard.

If she thinks she is of higher value, she will become unsure about you being the best that she can get and will throw sustained ****tests at you.

If you fail enough ****tests she will be sure that she can do better and start looking around for confirmation.

Her friends will confirm that she can do better and that she deserves the world just because.

She will look further and find men that simp hard for her pvssy and give her undreamt hights of attention.

At some point she will fall for an apex predator that steals her pvssy and she will think that Chad is the new normal she deserves and you will be divorced.

Why are women like that? Because of evolution. Like men have the need to spread their seed, women try to get the best male they can get.

Not all women give into that urge and will stay with the hubby but resent/disrespect him for the rest of her life for not being the best that she thinks she could have gotten.

And THIS is why you shouldnt care if your wife is happy or not. What you should care about is her respect towards you and wether she looks up to you or not.

 

[pipeman84]

Why is it that the more women are treated badly, then immediately well, then badly again, then well again, in short in a loop, they feel better rather than in a state in which they are treated serenely and well by a healthy man?

You're describing damaged women in toxic relationships.

Almost all couples in which the man treated the woman well, because the man is healthy and not psychopathic, or even beta, have broken up due to lack of "desire" or because "the love is over".

Do you know all the details of those relationships in order to conclude that good treatment is the cause of breaking up?
I think what you're referring to are mostly instances of a hoe getting together with a beta or a woman with too much baggage getting together with a beta or an average guy. The common denominator is that those women are not relationship material.

 

[jhonny9546]

Complacency kills excitement.

This!! So true!
Is this related to a precise women archetipe, or just all women?
I mean, are there women which appreciate complacency instead of being on an emotional treadmill to keep the "link"?

 

[jhonny9546]

You're describing damaged women in toxic relationships.

Do you know all the details of those relationships in order to conclude that good treatment is the cause of breaking up?
I think what you're referring to are mostly instances of a hoe getting together with a beta or a woman with too much baggage getting together with a beta or an average guy.

I don't have the details, ofc.
But this is just what I know from several LTR's i follow/ed.

"The common denominator is that those women are not relationship material."
Well, how'd you know beforeafter.

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

Redpill 101

Try to make your wife happy and she will think she got you bagged and double down with her demands.

Fullfill them as well to make her happy and she will think she must be of higher value because you try so hard.

If she thinks she is of higher value, she will become unsure about you being the best that she can get and will throw sustained ****tests at you.

If you fail enough ****tests she will be sure that she can do better and start looking around for confirmation.

Her friends will confirm that she can do better and that she deserves the world just because.

She will look further and find men that simp hard for her pvssy and give her undreamt hights of attention.

At some point she will fall for an apex predator that steals her pvssy and she will think that Chad is the new normal she deserves and you will be divorced.

Why are women like that? Because of evolution. Like men have the need to spread their seed, women try to get the best male they can get.

Not all women give into that urge and will stay with the hubby but resent/disrespect him for the rest of her life for not being the best that she thinks she could have gotten.

And THIS is why you shouldnt care if your wife is happy or not. What you should care about is her respect towards you and wether she looks up to you or not.

This.

You have to determine what's important to you and draw a line there. If she crosses it, boom, done.

But you also need to check her constantly. That is, make sure she knows who has the swinging d1ck.

Challenge her constantly. I know it isn't always fun, but it's necessary.

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

When you know a woman, you know how to keep her excited without needing an emotional treadmill.

The bar butterflies who have to be constantly entertained will stray more easily than the homebodies who prefer watching movies together.

Complacency is unacceptable either way, both in you and your spouse. If you stop caring how your spouse looks at you with admiration, you could slide into mediocrity where you're no longer her special person and she might look around for another special person... And some women are more susceptible to looking for 'greener grass' than others.

The way to stay a special person is by caring less.

This is easy game in the short term, but takes a toll over time. On you, I mean

Challenge her always, poke fun at her constantly, grab her ass every day.

And don't smile too much

 

[Travel memoir21]

Dude Theres always some sort of freakin drama taking place...........I have a friend who stole his best friend's girl and he and his ex best friend are raging alcoholics and cocaine addicts.

So you basically have a love triangle with three dysfunctional individuals. How nice.

 

[SW15]

LTRs will almost always end.

In my 12,000+ posts on this forum, I believe the idea that I am most known for is my idea about the shelf life of relationships.

I believe the majority of relationships have a shelf life of goodness of 5 years. It doesn't matter how long a relationship lasts, its only the first 5 years that are the good times. 5 years of goodness assumes at least an average frame. Betas with weaker than average frames won't have a shelf life of goodness that lasts even 5 years, even if a beta gets his relationship to last more than 5 years. There are plenty of beta males in relationships that have lasted more than 5 years.

Frame decay is also a real phenomenon. There are men who start off with decent frames but eventually morph into wimpy beta males.

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

... by caring less about pleasing her.

Women will try to manipulate you emotionally to get what they want (attention/validation mostly). Not responding will make you a 'cold fish'. Responding with mockery can result in resentment. I found that the best way to deal with it is to tell her in all honesty, "I know how you could be this dramatic with other men, but you cannot be that way with me. I'm a better manipulator than you will ever be."

One of my lovers is has borderliner/histrionic personality traits. She loves me because she respects that I can handle her drama and calm her down without appearing callously uninterested. She knows that I do not accept her tantrums and quarrels, for when she does so, I start treating her like a pouting teenager.

I'm a father of teenagers, I know how to keep their respect by having superior emotional self-control and not allowing myself to be drawn into their drama, while simultaneously showing them their drama is both unnecessary and ridiculous.

I learned how to by taming bratty submissives in B-D-S-M circles.

Not responding to their manipulation is probably the best bet, though I've never been one to hide my judgement

Mockery would probably be the second best, but it gets boring talking down to a child

I like your way, too, even though you're a degenerate

 

[Vending Machine Veteran]

...B-D-S-M circles.

Takes one to think other people are one.

Welcome to my IDGAFAYO list.

Ok buddy

 

[jhonny9546]

One of my lovers is has borderliner/histrionic personality traits. She loves me because she respects that I can handle her drama and calm her down without appearing callously uninterested. She knows that I do not accept her tantrums and quarrels, for when she does so, I start treating her like a pouting teenager.

f you stop caring how your spouse looks at you with admiration, you could slide into mediocrity where you're no longer her special person and she might look around for another special person.

Women will try to manipulate you emotionally to get what they want (attention/validation mostly). Not responding will make you a 'cold fish'. Responding with mockery can result in resentment. I

So many good points.
It's when she is seeking validation from you, what does this mean? Why is she doing? A man should ask himself, because He need to reply in the correct way. Which is the correct way? As you've stated, there is no correct way, but a "right" one, which is different for each women.
But, somehow, you would know if it's the correct one right? How?

 

[Ricky]

I think i could write my own novel on this based on my older brothers experiences and my own.

 

[jhonny9546]

By talking with women. By understanding what women want. And translating that in what women need.

So you trust a women when she talks? If she says "A". usually it's "A" and not "B"?

 

[BaronOfHair]

Why an LTR(Serene or otherwise)will end... Because impermance is the only constant in life

 

[BaronOfHair]

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2m72x0
Why is it that the more women are treated badly, then immediately well, then badly again, then well again, in short in a loop, they feel better rather than in a state in which they are treated serenely and well by a healthy man?

If by "treated well" you mean "Dude was a real life Ted Mosby ", this is the equivalent of mistaking Derek Chauvin for a stalwart champion of civil rights

 

[jhonny9546]

Trust? What does trust have to do with anything?

I may have mentioned this already several times on this forum: "Never take what women/anyone says at face value." Don't focus on the words, focus on the meaning.

View attachment 12465

Language is rarely used in the literal sense. Most of what people say is figurative. "That kills me, haha." No, it's not killing you.

When a woman tells you, "I love you till the ends of the earth" both of you know she speaking figuratively, since the earth is a globe, so there are no ends to the earth. Only idiots/flat-earthers take what a woman says literally.

Some men call this 'w0manese', but I just call it 'reading people'. If you stop listening to the words and listen to the tone and someone's non-verbal cues, you can see that their words are often unrelated or even contradicting what they mean to say.

Women tend to avoid confrontation. One way of conflict avoidance is to speak indirectly. Like using innuendo / double entendres to signal that she wants to have sex with you without telling you directly 'Hey, let's have sex'. Experienced men have no trouble reading the indirect speech correctly and act on it.

And that's what you should focus on, if you want to be a 'Don Juan'.

Don't touch me with those topics... I love this things!
-
Do men learn this through real experience, or do they need to know the theory first?
So they tell you to be a good and deep listener, but in reality, do you need to mute your ear and pay attention to what's happening on the other side of communication?
What I mean is, if a woman or just a human being comes to you saying something, how do you dare to read the nonverbal cues while understanding the meaning of their verbal request simultaneously?
-
Btw, this is an approach style you should have as default with anyone right?
In the meanwhile you're ready to read people, you should also present yourself as non "autistic", so you should also be in a good posture, frame, and blabla everything else.

How do you reach this level? Are there any activities or professional fields which would help to forge this behaviour? (maybe "acting", or "tourist guide", or ?)

This is a very interesting topic, thanks for mentioning

 

[Divorced w 3]

I can tell you that any time you’re dealing with a woman that has daddy issues, anxiety or whatever else, they outwardly don’t want you to be upset and difficult but their wiring wants it, which is obviously a shame but it keeps them coming back. The woman I am seeing now has a screw loose like all my former women do, which is why I can say this… because obviously I do too and like attracts like.

 

[jhonny9546]

Mostly through actual experience talking with women, but I'm sure there are plenty of books on communication that could help you.


No, you need to become an active listener. Like a therapist or an interviewer.
Her: "I got really confused about that."
You: "What was it that confused you?"
Her: "I just didn't think she'd react that way, you know?"
You: "How did you expect her to react?"
You get them to talk about themselves by not answering their questions but by getting them to answer why they pose the question.


I think you feel like you have to answer her questions. It's better to make her understand the futility of her questions by getting down to why she's asking the question.
Take one of those ubiquitous questions:
Her: "So, how many girlfriends have you had?"
You: "What do you hope my answer will tell you?"
Her: "You're being evasive. Why don't you just answer the question?"
You: "Because the answer is irrelevant if the question seeks irrelevant information. Are you really interested in the quantity or in the quality? You should ask better questions. What are you looking for?"
Et cetera.


No, this is how I am. Whenever someone asks me a question, I wonder why and what they want to know.
But it depends on the question. If a woman asks me for directions to the railway station, I don't question why. I just tell her how to get there.


Any work that brings you in contact with 'the public' will provide ample opportunity to learn human psychology if you care to pay attention. Tourist guide would be better than acting, although performing with a small theatre group will teach you a lot about the audience (and how to hold their attention).

Thanks! May would it be possible to know books and resources that will actually help this?
I know understand what you mean, I always have people ask me question, and me to give an answer to them, just because I am more of a "technical" person.
A friend I have, always make the girl asking the question, another question, but chaning/pitching his voice tone to make it look like "playfull" or like talking to a little girl.
I always thought that too be very childish behaviour, but I never understood how he kept so many women around him. He have this from default.

 

[jhonny9546]

All women try to emote men, they want your attention and they want to form an emotional connection.

The damaged/wild/passionate/bat****crazy ones just have a different way to go about getting what they want. Once you figured out how to handle their drama, they can be quite fun and not exhausting at all.

You have to be a genuine tease though.

Man.. i wish I've learn and applied this!!
(Not only for profit, but just to see how I can make another human being comfortable, happy to be in my presence)