"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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CHanging your standards?

Heretolearn

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Hi Gentleman,

At what point do you change your standards for women?

eg. bad experience ignoring red flags initially may motivate you to be more scrupulous next time.

But what about lowering.


- strikeouts with women. Eg. If you go for 10 jobs asking for 100k per year and are told the market rate is 80k, do you lower? Do you hold out for your true worth? An issue is do you have to work/eat? Similarly is it better to take what you can get at the time then keep searching?

- choice? If there is no one of your standard do you take the best available?

my situation: living in small town of < 7000 in the middle of nowhere. Hardly any available women and none that meet my standards physically at least (no need/motivation to take care of themselves. 3 to 1 guy/girl ratio).

So what would you do? ANy similar situations?

Yes, working on moving but the job here is good for my career at least for 1 more year if I can. PLus the job market should improve by then. (would be 2 years without any girls apart from irregular holidays).

thoughts appreciated.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Strat

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I was living in a similar situation, in my hometown. It seemed that any women of any desireability was already married, taken, etc. I then bagan to realize that this was a limiting belief. Even in a really small town its not really possible to know ALL the women. Next, there is the internet. You can find LOTS there and if you have your DJ skillset polished, you can have these women traveling to you. Next, being a DJ on a small town is like being a Lion in a henhouse. The competition usually has no idea how to even deal with you. One thing I have noticed is that small-town women are so not used to men acting like this... they eat it up. I guess you can lower your standards, but... could you not also widen your hunting area? Another good thing is, displaying your standards. LIke, letting the local honeys know that if they want you, they had better get busy slimming down. ( I assume this is the issue?) Next, well, just be evil. Take them from other guys. Don't limit yourself. Are you totally positive there are no suitable females in the area? Or are you just deciding its that way from some limited experience?
 

squirrels

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You need to eat...and you can take what you can get job-wise but still be looking for something more.

You don't NEED to f*ck.

Get yourself out of that town and take the opportunity to travel some. Or try the online-thing.

And there's nothing wrong with banging a "6" once in a while, as long as she's attractive ENOUGH to get the pee-pee hard. :p Just best not to make a habit of it.
 

princelydeeds

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Whenever my game slips or I just feel the need to get laid by something new, I will go after a woman who is in my eyes "less attractive." No fatties or crazy *****es but say an completely average looking chick with 5-10 extra pounds. You can use these chicks to build confidence and work on your game.

In any place there are options. Sometimes the best option is simply to make your self better. The better you become, the more your options will increase.
 

Heretolearn

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thanks guys. I just hate sacrificing because I work my butt off at my job, my investments and my fitness. Then to have to get in line for Mcdonalds because it is the only food in town and eat it when I know short term it may be filling but longterm it only softens my ability/hunger to reach my goals.

I like what strat said about perhaps a limiting belief. The issue is this is a mining town so only people who live here, work here. Thus it is dating at work. Resisted it for 8 months but now thinking about branching out into different departments (best of a bad situation).


6? Try 3-4 in looks but seriously 10 in old fashioned skills. The girls are VERY rough (such a turn off) but they do look after themselves as in work, cook, clean and put up with grotesquely fat, beer drinking, sit on the couch guys. I don't want any part of that

Travel seems a good option. There is supposedly a good town for backpackers 6 hours drive away but I have not been yet. Planning to go this weekend. Any hints for backpackers?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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jophil28

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How far are you from the east coast ?
 

squirrels

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Is your livelihood in that town?

Can you leave and get a job somewhere else, preferably somewhere more urban? Women are like moths, they're attracted to bright lights and shiny things. :)
 

Heretolearn

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HI,

12 hours drive from the Gold Coast. 2.5 hours drive from next major town although plenty of similiar sized towns dotted around.

I am not linked to the town per se but getting direct hands on experience at a mine is essential to my career progression. Many do it later in life with wives who then end up divorcing them due to the growing apart etc. It is like an apprenticeship in my eyes. I have a year left maximum in my opinion. Thus thinking of grinning and bearing it. Then travelling when I can :)
 

sodbuster

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sounds like the best plan, It's hard, but worth it. I had 4 years of almost enforced celibacy in Dental school[also picked up a brown belt in karate]. Not that I didn't date, I just didn't have the time to get too serious with any woman. So I ended up breaking up with women who wanted to take too much of my time.
 
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