The biggest thing I've found about the PUA world is that so much of the focus is on how to get women attracted to you. The entire theory, and most of the suggestions/advice, revolve around that one concept. And on the surface, it seems like a legitimate question to ask.
But I think that the core issue behind it is what turns a lot of guys (the one's that you all call "manginas" or "AFCs") to this material. Because, even though the average "nice guy" is actually manipulative at his core (doing "nice" things for validation, not because they are actually "nice"), they still aren't manipulative enough to embrace an overtly manipulative philosophy about attraction.
The reason I call this philosophy manipulative, is because the ideas are to take men and force them through a certain mold, to use certain psychological cues to their advantage, and to take control of the frame of the interaction. Those seem like reasonable goals. But at the end of the day, that philosophy only takes a manipulative nice guy and turns him into a manipulative jerk. No real change takes place here, other than the intimidation of beauty is now gone from that nice guy.
But at his core, he's still the same manipulative, insecure person.
Here's my suggestion (and I am fully aware that this isn't something profound or new, but I think it bears repeating and deserves more attention than it gets).....
Instead of focusing on how to attract a girl to you, what would happen if you, instead, focused more on how to make YOURSELF more attractive to her? Or better yet, what would happen if your main focus was to become more attractive....period. To all those people you interact with.
Instead of worrying about certain actions you need to take (negs, DHVs, etc.) to get her to respond to you, wouldn't it be far more empowering to focus on how to make YOURSELF a more attractive person?
Forget about the specifics of PUA and focus in on this perspective. When you become a more attractive person, you will exhibit attractive behaviors naturally. Your perspective will also change. When you become more attractive, you will value yourself as a person more. That value that you give to yourself will allow you to learn when to set and maintain boundaries, will show you how to succeed not just with women, but in all areas of your life.
But more importantly, it will teach you to shed off that insecure persona, take off that mask you've been wearing, and become more authentic in your interactions with people. This authenticity is what will attract people to you.
So, I urge you, as a fellow Don Juan, to change your frame. Forget about how to attract HER and become more attractive YOURSELF. And I'll promise you that you will meet with results in all areas of your life.
But I think that the core issue behind it is what turns a lot of guys (the one's that you all call "manginas" or "AFCs") to this material. Because, even though the average "nice guy" is actually manipulative at his core (doing "nice" things for validation, not because they are actually "nice"), they still aren't manipulative enough to embrace an overtly manipulative philosophy about attraction.
The reason I call this philosophy manipulative, is because the ideas are to take men and force them through a certain mold, to use certain psychological cues to their advantage, and to take control of the frame of the interaction. Those seem like reasonable goals. But at the end of the day, that philosophy only takes a manipulative nice guy and turns him into a manipulative jerk. No real change takes place here, other than the intimidation of beauty is now gone from that nice guy.
But at his core, he's still the same manipulative, insecure person.
Here's my suggestion (and I am fully aware that this isn't something profound or new, but I think it bears repeating and deserves more attention than it gets).....
Instead of focusing on how to attract a girl to you, what would happen if you, instead, focused more on how to make YOURSELF more attractive to her? Or better yet, what would happen if your main focus was to become more attractive....period. To all those people you interact with.
Instead of worrying about certain actions you need to take (negs, DHVs, etc.) to get her to respond to you, wouldn't it be far more empowering to focus on how to make YOURSELF a more attractive person?
Forget about the specifics of PUA and focus in on this perspective. When you become a more attractive person, you will exhibit attractive behaviors naturally. Your perspective will also change. When you become more attractive, you will value yourself as a person more. That value that you give to yourself will allow you to learn when to set and maintain boundaries, will show you how to succeed not just with women, but in all areas of your life.
But more importantly, it will teach you to shed off that insecure persona, take off that mask you've been wearing, and become more authentic in your interactions with people. This authenticity is what will attract people to you.
So, I urge you, as a fellow Don Juan, to change your frame. Forget about how to attract HER and become more attractive YOURSELF. And I'll promise you that you will meet with results in all areas of your life.