The missing ingredient to confidence isn't mentally "pumping yourself up". It's not pysching yourself into a frenzy. It's physiology my friends. The way we move determines the way we feel. This is incredibly powerful stuff that I learned from Tony Robbins.
There are specific ways of moving your body that produces confidence. As an exercise, the next time you are out, notice how people move. How people walk. What their gestures are like. If you imitate what others do, you'll feel how they feel!
We are a product of how we move through the world. Whenever we are depressed or nervous, notice how we use our bodies. They are lopsided. One side leans over. Your head tilts down to the side. The ultimate lopsidedness is being curled up in the fetal position, scared to death of the outside world.
If you feel nervous before making a phone call for example, see how you are using your body. Your shoulders might be hunched over, wondering what am I going to say.
It takes practice to get really good at it. We tend to have habitual ways of moving and of breathing that produce a certain state inside of us. You may not get all of it initially. There are so many muscles that we don't use (Tony said we have over 80 muscles in our face for example).
When in doubt, take up space. Try this exercise for a moment seated in your chair. Sit up straight with your feet together and your hands clasped together in front of you in your lap. Notice how confident you feel. Now keep your feet farther apart (between 1 and 2 feet) and pretend two huge grapefruits are under your arms and cup your hands on the desk in front of you (palms facing towards each other). Take up even more space and feel even stronger in this mega alpha position. Notice how body builders walk around. It's like they have gigantic watermelons under their arms.
You can tell so much from people by the way they move. Even just by looking at their facial expressions. This is an article from the New Yorker about the science of reading peoples faces.
http://www.gladwell.com/2002/2002_08_05_a_face.htm (quite long!)
Above all, have fun and just play around with it.
There are specific ways of moving your body that produces confidence. As an exercise, the next time you are out, notice how people move. How people walk. What their gestures are like. If you imitate what others do, you'll feel how they feel!
We are a product of how we move through the world. Whenever we are depressed or nervous, notice how we use our bodies. They are lopsided. One side leans over. Your head tilts down to the side. The ultimate lopsidedness is being curled up in the fetal position, scared to death of the outside world.
If you feel nervous before making a phone call for example, see how you are using your body. Your shoulders might be hunched over, wondering what am I going to say.
It takes practice to get really good at it. We tend to have habitual ways of moving and of breathing that produce a certain state inside of us. You may not get all of it initially. There are so many muscles that we don't use (Tony said we have over 80 muscles in our face for example).
When in doubt, take up space. Try this exercise for a moment seated in your chair. Sit up straight with your feet together and your hands clasped together in front of you in your lap. Notice how confident you feel. Now keep your feet farther apart (between 1 and 2 feet) and pretend two huge grapefruits are under your arms and cup your hands on the desk in front of you (palms facing towards each other). Take up even more space and feel even stronger in this mega alpha position. Notice how body builders walk around. It's like they have gigantic watermelons under their arms.
You can tell so much from people by the way they move. Even just by looking at their facial expressions. This is an article from the New Yorker about the science of reading peoples faces.
http://www.gladwell.com/2002/2002_08_05_a_face.htm (quite long!)
Above all, have fun and just play around with it.
nice post!